Thoughts of a Curious Person

2011-12-03T21:05:00.002+08:00

Hello hello!

Yes I know its been absolute AGES since I've blogged and yeah I've sort of slacked in terms of maintaining the original intentions of HAVING a blog. Truth is, I've just been a bit busy and (I don't know why I'm writing as if I'm talking to someone; no one READS this thing anymore) anyway, stuff's been going on.

Anyhoo, I was just thinking about a couple of things. I mean okay, I have had more than a few things on my mind, this is just whatever's at the top.

Mistakes. Everybody makes them, either consciously or unconsciously. They make them all the time. Thing is, when is the line where you can't forgive the mistake? When apologising and attempting to make up for it, just isn't enough? There's actually a legal definition of the word "mistake". I'm not going to go into the legal definition and the dictionary definition. Anyone can look a word up.

My question is, when is the mistake too big, that you can't ever take it back?

I was watching Bachana Ae Haseeno, and for those of you who don't want a spoiler, please skip this part. Raj leaves Radhika at the altar, too much of a coward to tell her that he can't marry her. Leaving someone at the altar, is absolutely terrible. Especially when you love the person, when the only reason for not marrying her is that you just don't want to be married. He goes back much later, to apologise and ask for forgiveness, and she initially does not. I don't blame her, that was an absolute awful thing to happen to anyone. Eventually she forgives him, because hating him has worn her down. For her own sake she forgives him. And mama was watching this movie with me and she mentioned something about mistakes as well. Like that even at work, her boss said something like "Everyone makes mistakes. But look at the kind of mistake that's made!" Some mistakes are too big to be forgotten and forgiven.

I suppose we have the law for the classification of mistakes. However, things like adultery is not punishable by law, though it is morally wrong. So what is the line then, where is it I mean?

Truthfully, I have no idea. This is obviously something that we decide for ourselves, whenever events happen to us. I suppose one way of looking at them is to think, " If I had made such a mistake, would expect to be forgiven? Would I be able to forgive myself?" I guess that's one way of figuring it out.

shini

2011-09-08T00:19:00.002+08:00

I KNOW i'm a slob. I know that. The whole freakin world knows that. And you know, I'm perfectly aware of the fact that I'm not the only person living in the house. Really, I do know that.

But you know what, its MY stuff. Its messy, yes, but I know EXACTLY where everything is and even if I don't know exactly where it is, I know where I'd find it. Just because YOU like things the way YOU do them and much prefer not to see my mess, in MY room, doesn't mean you can move all my things around and not TELL me. And hey, even if you tell me and I say no, don't move my stuff, I need it there, I don't have time now to rearrange everything, you still don't listen and do it anyway. I know I'm supposed to be grateful and glad that now I have full use of my study table but frankly, I've always hated that table and I have stopped studying there. Its not conducive for me to study, I need space for the laptop and the books and its too high and cramped. I never sit there.

I'm sorry but I'm just not grateful for everything looking neat and tidy because I didn't put the things away. It may come as a shock to you but when I actually DO put things away, I take pride in doing it. I like knowing where everything I own is. I don't like you putting everything away, and Now I dont know where my stuff is. All the little things I want to keep, that I remember? You just throw. And its not fair. My WorldMUN stuff, I have no idea where it is. You said its up there. WHERE? I can't believe I'm upset about this but I am. When I do put my things away, I like doing it. I hate not knowing where all my things are.

Simply Rahat!

2011-08-20T01:49:00.002+08:00

I always blog after a concert or something and that's not going to change.

I went for "Simply Rahat" a concert by Ustad Rahat Fateh Ali Khan at Suntec Convention Hall and BOY DID I ENJOY IT!!

It was so so awesome and what made it even BETTER was the fact that I knew almost all the songs that he sang! I was sitting there and I realised that a lot of the songs that I love, are sung by him. I just love his voice and what he can do with his voice and the fact that he does hindi film songs as well as Qawwali songs just tells you his amazing range of ability.

The set was extremely simple, just the stage with the musicians. Rahat and his backup vocals and the tabla players were all seated on carpets on the floor with the other musicians around them, either standing or in chairs. He didn't have like a fancy programme or whatever, it was just him singing the songs. What I loved was that after it was quite apparent that the audience was a bit sedate, he actually very politely told us that we're quite quiet and its nice for the musicians to hear response from the audience, so they know whether they're doing it well or not and I was glad because I didn't know what kind of a performer he was so I too as an audience member didn't really get into the full groove of it till he said that. After that, the audience was quite quite appreciative which I like. As I've said before, audience behaviour is a big thing with me and bad behaviour or unappreciative behaviour can ruin a night for me. He sang some of my absolute favourites like Main Jahan Rahoon, Sajda, and Dil To Baccha Hai Ji as well as O Re Piya. I was so happy he sang the Qawwali number, Mera Piya Ghar Aaya!

You can see though when he was singing the ghazals and the qawwali songs,that its more challenging but also that he enjoys it more than the hindi film songs. And when the performer is enjoying the performance itself, that too makes me happy! I mean he was smiling and genuinely having fun!

The only thing I regret is not being able to understand Hindi though because he did the ghazals and when he was singing them, like people were responding and Mama was laughing and enjoying it because she understood but I didn't so I just focused on the music part and not the words. So that did make me feel a little sad but Mama told me some of what he was saying so that was okay. I wouldn't say I'm a great expert on music but I like listening to it and I like to dance so music's important for dancing. So when he does those difficult bits in the Qawwali songs and ghazals, I'm genuinely impressed because I've never seen anyone do it so fast! I can't even imagine someone doing chakars to the beat he makes! *chakars: the spins in kathak* Sigh. I had a glorious time honestly, except the part where he was singing Mast Qalandar, the last song and like people were leaving, obviously because they heard Tere Mast Mast Do Nain. I mean yes it was past midnight but COMEON you already have to pay midnight charge, just stay for the last song proper and not OFFEND the artist! I can't stand it when people leave before the performer's done. Plus, the last bit was amazing and so fun because he was going so fast and it was so upbeat!

Sigh. ridiculous. and RUDE.

anyway, I'm quite tired but that's my gushing done about Rahatji's show.It was fun fun fun and my seats were pretty great considering the low price and hey, awesome vocals and technology means that I could hear EVERYTHING even though I was so far away so HA!

I'm so happy:)

shini

2011-08-03T11:38:00.002+08:00

I know I haven't blogged in ages but its mostly because I didn't feel there was anything TO blog about. You'd probably know that if something was bothering me or if I was upset or pissed off, I'd blog about it to let of steam. However, things have been so so lovely that I didn't have to.

Well, not everything. But that's not my issue to tell or blog about so I'll just say that I'm there for my friend and I'll always be.

Moving on, I feel like I should at least briefly mention something about the new school year starting for me in a week's time. Its going to be my third year, (THIRD YEAR CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?) and I have quite a bit depending on it. Reason being that my CAP has to be pulled up from a 3.13 to a 3.5 by the end of my third year. I know I said I'd be okay if I didn't do honours but honestly, who are we kidding? I'm SCREWED if I don't do honours and I don't just mean at home. If I want to work in ANY ministry, or government institution, I'm going to need that bloody honours. Yes it calls for another year of paying fees but hell, I need to do it. Thing is, if I need to pull up my grade so much, and its been so dismal for so long, I need to like get all As for all my modules this sem. And surprise surprise I have to be doing a stats module as well as one on international political economics. In case you didn't know (this blog was after the horrible year of 2008), econs is not my best subject. I failed for 2 years doing it in jc and through a tuition teacher and a helluva lot of writing, as well as some praying and a bucket load of luck, I somehow managed the miracle of getting a B for it in A levels. Doesn't sound like much I know but for me, changing the U to a B, IS a miracle. So anyway, the damn subject caused me much stress and pain for the whole 2 years I was studying it.

And now, through some persuasion from my friend, I WILLINGLY choose a module with the word economics in it, a level 3000 module, in the semester that I have to DO UNBELIEVABLY WELL IN. Sigh. Why did I do it? Well, I had looked at my other option, Human Rights and Ethics or something like that, and checked out its exam paper and needless to say, the economics paper seemed a lot more do-able. Lord, I really hope I kick myself in the ass and do well this semester. I HAVE to be a hermit and not go out and do all my readings because I'm doing ALL level 3000 modules. The thing is, some of my close friends are finally coming to NUS and I want to hang out with them there. And yes, I'm going for Bollyfest. And yes, a close friend is coming down late August and I want to go out with him too. And yes, my best friend said I should really go back to Bollywood dance (if they'll have me) and do that too. So how? Well I guess that means a real cutback on all the other things. I'm GOING to do this, because I have to and because I need to and because I BLOODY WELL CAN. I've basically slacked off for 2 years in NUS and I really should stop now. One year doesn't sound like a lot of time to pull up my grade, but I'm going to at least TRY.

Okay I don't know how this became a ranting session because I was supposed to talk about how excited I am to go back to school and start my good-girl campaign and read and do my work. And also the fact that there's a STARBUCKS on campus makes my life infinitely more awesomer(since I've been asking for it since school STARTED for me) also makes me excited. Finally, just seeing my school friends, learning, participating and making new friends make me excited, especially with my own personal campaign. Oh, okay see, I did manage to say what I'm excited about. Sigh. Well, I think that's enough for now. I have something else to rant about but , this isn't supposed to be Rants of a Hormonal Person is it now? Okay, I'm going off, don't want to be late. Ciao my bellas and keep smiling!

love,

shini

Bloody storm

2011-06-16T03:44:00.003+08:00

I am rather disappointed.

There was supposed to be the Lunar eclipse, the longest EVER and the moon is SUPPOSED to be reddish-orange from the lack of light and you're supposed to be able to view it.

Being in Singapore unfortunately means that even when you put an alarm and WAKE UP at 3 am and go down to see the moon, its so cloudy and windy that you can't see anything but clouds and get rather scared from the wind.

That's exactly what happened to me. On one hand, the couple of minutes I was down there, walking around the entire block looking up for the moon and only seeing the clouds, it was quite serene. The wind was something to behold though for me, because it was REALLY windy! and the trees were swaying and everything! I was getting cold and scared so I went back up and of COURSE just before I got into the lift I had to remember that in Paranormal Activity, the spirit thingy usually acted up around 3 something in the morning. So of course when I got to my door, I was a little terrified to actually enter.

Viewing literally the "calm before the storm" was at least an experience because it made the howling and the window-shaking even more scary because I felt the wind. So even though I missed out on seeing our orangey-red moon, I still had a little bit of an experience. And now I gotta get some sleep before I have to go and fetch my mum from the airport.

loves,

shini

Excuse the foul language

2011-06-02T23:36:00.002+08:00

I realise that you worry. That's your job. Apparently when your daughter is 52 kg and only 1.48m tall, she's clearly overweight and needs to be told to stop scarfing down the chips and get to the damn gym. And you're so so right. The thing is, if you knew your daughter well enough, you'd also realise that she's not stupid, she's doing it while being fully aware of her actions and its a damn CHOICE. She knows she has to go to the gym, and even if you don't believe it, she fully intends to go. She just needs some down time from gallavanting about and a BREAK from socialising to get her head straight. You would also realise that she's quite, no in fact VERY insecure about her figure and weight; she just hides it extremely well and frankly is too lazy to REALLY do anything about it. She figures one should be confident of how one looks, NO MATTER what you look like. Inside though, she really really hates her body, DEEP DEEP inside, and wishes she had her sister's skinny flat tummy. So when you go on about how unhealthy she is, how she'll get diabetes from being overweight, and when you question her about her BMI, it does hurt.

A LOT.

She doesn't eat chocolates; not much of a sweet tooth.
She was brought up on water not Coke.

She just has a thing for chips. Junk food. basically salty and fried food/snacks.
YES its bad, very very VERY bad. She knows this. Somehow she missed out one bad habit and it turned into a monster of a flaw. She has tried cutting down and will do so. She KNOWS she has this very very bad habit and its not good for her. She feels guilty enough.
Cliched as it sounds, this bad habit makes her happy(going down very dangerous territory here I know) but she also knows that its an illusion and there are other ways to be happy. She will persevere and stop this bad habit of chips.
She just asks you not to go complete commando on her and make her feel like a HUGE FAT LAZY GROSS SLOB THAT WILL NEVER GET A JOB BECAUSE SHE'S FAT AND DOES NOT PRESENT A GOOD IMPRESSION.

Please. I mean she already feels bad enough that she's not going to do Honours and YOU have your bloody 2nd Lower Class Hons and YOU have your bloody MA. She really doesn't need to be told that she's going to get diabetes and never get a good job because she's fat and does not give off a good impression. She's worried enough about her supremely AVERAGE future ahead of her and saddened enough about it without YOU coming in and making it worse. Just because YOU go and jog regularly does NOT give you the right to PREACH to her about being healthy. Unless of course consuming copious amounts of alcohol EVERY WEEK is healthy then by all means, go ahead and PREACH.

Otherwise, SHUT YOUR GOB AND LEAVE HER ALONE. Yes I'm intelligent, yes its a stupid choice to make but you know what? Its my FUCKING choice and it has NOTHING to do with YOU. Unless I'm fucking OBESE, leave my BMI out of our conversation because I still HAVE TIME TO TURN THE FUCKING CLOCK AROUND and get healthy. If my MOTHER can do it, SO BLOODY CAN I.

P.S. I sincerely apologise about the foul foul language but I just couldn't control it any longer. Please avert your eyes and please excuse me. I'm currently in an extremely bad mood.

Because really, making your daughter cry about her bloody eating habits, lack of exercise and basic fattiness has to be at the top of the list of Parenting 101 doesn't it?

2011-04-18T19:37:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry but how pathetic is it that an essay can make me cry? Seriously? I mean I've never had an assignment make me so upset. Or rather my absolute inability to even UNDERSTAND the source I'm reading to do it. Worse? its due in like less than 24 hours. tomorrow by 5pm to be exact. and its 7.39 in the evening right now and I am on the 7th page of the source. I cannot understand it, how am i supposed to write an essay about my reaction to the damn source?! And okay, my fault for not paying attention in class but I scarcely think that listening to the lecturer repeat what's on the slides in an accent will actually help me. What do I do? This is going to pull EVERYTHING down. absolutely everything. They may be lenient during the mid-term test and for the essays but they will slaughter you in the finals! I'll be lucky if i get a C-! I can ACTUALLY fail A MODULE! in ARTS!? ohmygod i'm so so screwed. beyond any other time. and i do not appreciate my mother telling me not to get defensive when she says i must cut down on certain foods. if someone implies that you're fat, do you not get defensive? maybe its just me and i'm being over-sensitive but I do get tired of the fat jokes, digs, jibes and subtle for-your-own-good pieces of advice. LEAVE MY WEIGHT ALONE. its got ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with you. it really has nothing to do with you. unless i develop diabetes, high bp, heart disease, or some other diesase related to obesity (TOUCH/KNOCK WOOD), you have no right to BUG me about it. only AFTER that sort of thing happens, then are you allowed to. HELL, you can even say "i told you so" a million and one times. JUST NOT BEFORE. a downright pissed off and thoroughly upset shini

2011-03-31T15:25:00.002+08:00

I just don't understand why they don't play this at the clubs. I mean whenever I IMMEDIATELY start dancing. And why wouldn't I? Its SUCH a dance song! maybe because its old, they don't play it, but STILL. sigh.

I know I've only been putting up videos and talking frivolous nonsense lately but I've been feeling down and stressed lately so talking about such nonsense makes me feel better, as does watching these favourite videos.

Enjoy lovies!

shini

I could listen all day

2011-02-24T20:23:00.002+08:00

Okay, I heard this song again recently and it reminded me that once upon a time, about 5 years ago or so, when I discovered it, it was my favourite. Don't judge me okay, I have NO idea why, but I listened to this on repeat, quite a number of times. Sort of knew the words, but of course had no idea about the meaning. I thought I'd share it with you(whoever reads this) and if the video offends you, I'm sorry.

WARNING:EXCESS EXPOSURE OF SKIN AND LEWD MOVEMENTS UP AHEAD

Saaki Saaki, from Musafir, the movie.

Current favourites are

Ainvayi Ainvayi, from Band Baaja Baarat.
LOVE LOVE THIS SONG

Udi from Guzaarish. Absolutely adore it
I just love the video especially and omg Aishwarya's dresses that she wears through out the movie. And Hrithik's face, at the end of the video, just about pierces my heart.

last one

Dil toh Baccha hai ji from Ishqiya.
Haven't seen the movie, but I heard this song and just loved it.
Love the almost jewish music and of course Rahat ji's voice.

So there you have it, some songs that I just love. Yes they're the more popular and more obvious choices but that's just how it is;)
lots of love!

shini

2011-01-23T22:25:00.002+08:00

I need to confess something. I'm pretty sure that no one would find this blog anyway so I should be fine.

I am TERRIFIED of World MUN. Absolutely TERRIFIED. And I'm a delegate for the Singapore team. I should be excited and I sort of am. But I'm just so so terrified. Plus the expenses are worrying me. Especially since I don't have any work attire so I have to buy pants and a blazer and hope my mum can dig out some blouses for me to wear. And wear those ridiculously painful heels. They really are ridiculous. But they're the only pair of "work"looking heels I have. A bit high la for "work" but I obviously don't have the cash to buy another more comfortable pair. I just don't want to look STUPID. not just in attire but during the sessions and while talking and convincing the other delegates. Especially since the Chairs of the different committees are so so impressive, just from the little biodata that they provided. And I'm pretty sure that the majority of the delegates would have done this all before. Also, my laptop's battery power is QUITE pathetic, so bringing it to the conference would be a little ridiculous, especially since each session is supposed to be 3 hours and I KNOW my laptop can't last 3 hours. Maybe I should buy another battery? I don't even know where to get that but I'm sure I can secure a powerpoint thingy in the conference? And omg lugging the stupid laptop around will kill me. Is it tacky to have the wire and all that?Can't be helped what. Omg I'm so so nervous and scared and worried and deep deep deep DEEEEEEPPPPP down, I'm pretty sure there's a little excitement there.

NOT to mention I still have to solve the problem of the a.r. rahman ticket that I can't use. NOT because its my fault. ooooohhh noooo, it technically isn't. But in my mother's eyes, it IS my problem, and it IS my fault and WHY can't I just leave the conference early on the LAST FREAKIN DAY and go for the concert that I wasn't even asked about or knew about with my mother and uninterested sister who will probably FALL ASLEEP. She and my aunt just DON'T GET IT. There are at least 6 social events happening at night or whatever and MUN is as much a conference as a social thing where you interact with people from different parts of the world and make friendships. Wouldn't you think I'd WANT to be there all the way till the end for last night? Of COURSE nothing is compulsory, except obviously the sessions, but I'd didn't sign up for this because I HAD to, but because I WANTED to. and i've NEVER done MUN before. EVER. I'd really want to experience this whole thing cuz hello, when will I ever get to?!

sigh. I'm getting more frustrated as I talk about this.
Forget it.

shini

2011-01-23T22:15:00.002+08:00

I thought I was imagining things when people say things like " your mother isn't used to you having all your own plans and stuff", I KNEW that my mother has basically no problem with my independence and she's not depending on me for things to do and stuff.

But just now she said that she wants to go and walk by the beach for like exercise in the evening and she wants me to go with her and like run because of COURSE and AS USUAL she's on me to lose weight. I on the other hand had an idea(yes as expected i have not acted upon it yet but i've been sick so sue me) whereby I'd bring my readings to the gym and use both the stepping machine and the bike and read while I work my legs, seeing as my thighs are the biggest issue. Plus there are the machines to use for the arms and as long as I don't run on the damn treadmill which i HATE, I should be fine. I really cannot stand the treadmill because it just makes my inferiority complex worse with all those damn numbers. At least when I run at the canal, I can just conveniently forget how long I took to jog 2km.

Sigh whatever la I'll go and do my OWN thing at the gym and go with mama as well. One can never have too much exercise.Specially since I'm hopeless at dieting.

shini

ZEE CINE AWARDS 2010 @Marina Bay Sands Grand Ballroom!

2011-01-15T03:19:00.004+08:00

I know I should be really really glad and happy now but my flu and recently developed cough has sort of tired me out.
I really don't want to do a post right now but i KNOW its best to do one right after the event so everything's still fresh in your mind. Also I have a feeling that if i dont' let everything out, I'd go to sleep unhappy.

okay, so here goes.

I went with my mum and sister for the ZEE CINE AWARDS held in Marina Bay Sands Grand Ballroom and I was super duper excited! We got there pretty early and mum valet-parked the car at the hotel cuz we honestly didn't see any car park for the convention hall and stuff and we honestly thought it was held at the hotel. So we quickly found out that its actually opposite the road and we can take the underpass. Hence, we sat down at this bar, very chic and had a drink. I had a virgin margharita cuz I had taken panadol before I left(damn thing doesn't work). At like 7 we went to the venue very diligently. They opened the dorrs at like7.27 and we were seated by like 7.45. Mind you the ticket said 7.30.

The security person on stage after some time kept telling people to be seated otherwise they can't start. People were still streaming in at 8.30. People kept standing up at the area infront of the curtain, supposedly the "red carpet" area la and they couldn't start till everyone was more or less seated. So eventually I think we only started the show at like 9 or so.

The beginning was sort of shaky. There were issues with the camera because for some reason the camera would be stuck on either vidya balan or shatrughan sinha and his wife, or else pointed to the floor. While Akshay and Sajid talked for at LEAST 15 to 20 minutes, we couldn't see their faces on the screen. Then at some point, the screen went blank. By that time people were making a lot of noise and BOOING. I'm sorry to say but my MOTHER did it too! and my sister said it once but my mother kept AT IT a few times! I mean hey technical difficulties SHOULD be expected, let them know but don't BOO FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!

The thing is that the emcees Akshay and Sajid didn't KNOW that we couldn't see them so they tried continuing on and apparently looked absolutely terrified when the audience started booing them obviously because they thought that they were booing at them not at the lack of a visual. Then someone came on the mike saying "We are experiencing technical difficulties bla bla bla" after maybe 5 to 10 minutes more of no cameras, there was an announcement saying that the official recording of the show would start now and then everything went on pretty smoothly.

At SOME point, my mother got pissed off again because she couldn't see the stage even with the binoculars because we had three fairly tall men sitting in front of us and there were tiers on for ever three rows. So she asked me to move down a seat. The thing is the woman that was sitting next to me had gotten up and left during the commotion but I didn't know if she was coming back or not cuz she had HAD a drink and packet of chips in her hand so she might have gone outside to get something. So I told her there's someone sitting here, cannot move. So she was pissed at me. Well she had that LOOK on her face. Couple of moments later I asked the man sitting on the other side of the empty seat if he knew if the woman was coming back but he said he didn't know. Unable to tahan her sulky face any longer, my sis was just " Let's just move down" so we did and she moved down too a few seconds later. EVEN THEN she still had that face on, so I told her she could have MY seat if she wanted cuz thankfully no one was sitting infront of me, in the next row, though of course there were people sitting in front of me in the subsequent rows.

During this ENTIRE time, I was somewhat dully watching the screen that again was thankfully, like right above our heads so THAT was good. They gave out all the technical awards and stuff and unfortunately I can't remember who won most of them except for the ones I sent out in sms-es. Eventually my mood lifted when I saw that mama had gotten OVER the whatever and was finally smiling and stuff. However, quite frankly, because this IS my blog, I WILL say what I want here; she did ruin the experience for a while. Like the first 45 minutes. Which isn't fair. So yeah.

Okay, Now I don't know if you want any surprises when you watch the show in 2 weeks time or if you want me to give the LOW down on everything but I'll just put a disclaimer here.

DISCLAIMER: THE NEXT PART GIVES A BLOW-BY-BLOW(as far as I can) OF THE ZEE CINE AWARDS SHOW. IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS, SKIP AHEAD OR DON'T READ. thank you.

Okay, there were about 5 performances, by Arjun Rampal and some other actresses, Priyanka Chopra, Deepika Padukone, AISHWARYA RAI-BACHCHAN, AND SHAH RUKH KHAN. There were also like these little gags and things la obviously, one involving Chunkey Pandey(very accommodating), Hrithik and Sussane Roshan. Well the last one wasn't specifically a gag per say just very entertaining. Neha Dupia and Sophie Choudary helped out with the hosting too at some point. I gotta say though that these stars show a LOT of love for each other, on stage at least. I was very happy with the performances of Arjun, Deepika, Aishwarya and Srk. Quite honestly I was NOT expecting the latter 2 to be performing and I think the crowd wasn't either so they really CHEERED LOUDLY!!! Although, I think it was very very smart of the organisers to get those people to perform because they all got awards. Arjun got for I think best supporting actor, Deepika got for international icon(female), (Ranbir Kapoor got international icon male;ironic don't cha think?), Aishwarya got best actress(jury choice) and Shah rukh got best actor(popular). PC(priyanka chopra) didn't get anything, as far as I can remember but she put on like 6 little skits things, representing each of the nominated films, so I think she had plenty screen time. She did them REALLY well too! Unfortunately, I had not watched like 4 out of 6 of the movies that were nominated so I couldn't really enjoy the skits though the one for My Name Is Khan was really quite funny!

Akshay Kumar and Sajid Khan had apparently installed this trampoline next to the podium at one end of the stage so when the stars had to come up and collect their awards, they made them literally JUMP FOR JOY which I thought was quite hilarious and they were all quite willing to do it! Vidya Balan was wearing a SARI and quite high heels and she jumped like three times! It was so cute la and so unexpected somehow. Even Aishwarya did a little hop, though I think she could have jumped more since later on Vidya's heels were definitely higher than hers.
The thing that SRK did with hrithik and sussane was sooooo hilarious and cute! After his performance(!!!!) he started talking about being a good hubby and all that and asked hrithik to come on stage. Then he went on to talk about how everything hrithik's done, he's taught him. THEN he asks sussane to come on stage for a few minutes because he wants to show hrithik how to treat your wife. She sits on a throne and there's like Sajda playing, and hrithik has to follow all of srk's actions and he TOTALLY does! there's like confetti thrown on her, and practically worshipping her . It was so romantic and lovely and so funny at the same time.

I had a wonderful time, despite the issues at the beginning. And in case you were wondering, I told my mum just now that I was quite unhappy with how she behaved. Of course she gave it back to me, because I was inflexible in moving down a seat. I DID it eventually, but i suppose at that moment when she asked, I should have done it. WHATEVER.

OH! for those family members of mine who read the blog, don't mention it to my mother please. And please listen to HER version of the night and don't mention about me being unhappy or anything. PLEASE.

thanks so much!

All in all, i was EXTREMELY glad that mama bought the tickets to go and even tough I didn't see any stars up close, or get an autograph, with the binoculars that we had borrowed from Auntie J, I could TOTALLY see them on stage and THAT was exciting!
So I LOVED LOVED LOVED it and I can't WAIT for them to come back!!!

LOTS OF LOVE,
SHINI

2011-01-01T16:08:00.002+08:00

Hello hello children!
I know I've been MIA from this blog but let me just say that its not because i have nothing to write about but for some reason, I had this inertia to start writing. Strange I know but I finally felt that I should at least write about the new year and all that.

Personally I'm quite terrified about the new year starting. I have some things that I have to do in 2011 and that makes me apprehensive. There are quite a few things so let me elaborate.
1. I'm taking part in World MUN (Model UN) which is being hosted by NUS for the first time ever and I'm going to be one of the Singapore delegates. So I'll basically be interacting with various delegates, in meetings. Its a conference. I'm obviously terrified cuz if I have trouble talking in PS tutorial, how the HELL would I manage a whole bloody conference?! And yet, I know that if I prepare myself, I can do it. And its not like we're REALLY solving world problems, so yeah. Still scared though.

2. I have to get an internship during the summer break. Again, I'm quite worried about it cuz I don't have any working experience and I don't know if I can handle the jobs or not. But I have to do it and I know I can do it. So yeah, just apprehensive about that too.

3. My second year is ending. and I'm turning 21. It feels like I just only turned 20 and now I'm forced to become an adult. Like officially an adult. People say its no big deal turning 21, but it IS! I can't explain it la why I feel that way. And I don't think I'd be having a huge party by the way. I'm just not the sort. God knows my sister, mother, cousin, aunt and friends would feel that I should celebrate it though cuz all my cousins as far as I'm concerned have "celebrated" it. So, I'll have to be prepared to put up a good fight.

4. I'm going to start a diet of low carbs and regular exercise. To see if I really can lose weight or not. Of course, it will kill me, and I would be "plugged" into the laptop a lot more, cheering myself up with movies, shows, videos and music since food would no longer do it for me. I don't know how long I'd be able to do it cuz I'm not very disciplined when it comes to food. or anything really. so, we'll see how long I last, and how well I stick to it. Weirdly enough, even though its the first, I haven't actually started the diet. Thanks to my mother who bought oily but great indian food from Samy's yesterday, which we will be eating today. So, I'm just going to be like in a horrible mood for a while la.

so I'm just going to end off now, and happy new year lovlies!

shini

2010-12-15T11:08:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, I wish that I could stop thinking. That the voice in my brain, which is not some weird "voice in my head" thing but just my OWN voice would stop talking and thus basically thinking. Even when you THINK you're "stoning" or while you're watching tv where you think that your brain is "turned off" its not really. I mean OBVIOUSLY its not la, because then you'd be brain dead but there's no "hibernate" or "sleep" mode like a laptop. Even when you are sleeping, you're still thinking, but worse, in the form of dreams. And let me tell you, as I've said before, dreams can be exhausting too.

Then again, if you don't think, and if you're voice isn't always speaking, to yourself, then you'd be dead. It's probably a sign if the internal voice stops talking. You're probably near the end. So in a way, clearly its good that your head can't stop thinking and talking. Drives you nuts, but still. it'd be nice to put it on pause for a while at a time sometimes.

shini

Both ends of the scale

2010-12-09T18:49:00.003+08:00

I've had a few things on my mind lately and at some point, I figured that I had to let it all out because then new topics and things can enter and be analysed in my head.

So here goes nothing.

First, this started with my dad telling me about this colleague of his. He had worked with her, previously and stuff and then I thought he was going to tell me something interesting about her, like at 50, she's getting married for the first time or something (don't laugh, I've gone for such a wedding; but it was my mum's friend). Well, I wasn't wrong, he did tell me something interesting about her, but on the other end of the scale.

She had passed on and that day was her final rites. He couldn't even go for them because it was already like 7 plus. The thing is, my dad usually goes for these things, if he knows about them.
She apparently had most of her family in Australia and like maybe one sister in Singapore. My dad didn't know about her passing because there wasn't even a mention in the obituary section of the newspaper. He said that because she's single, they want to just do the whole thing quickly and be done with it.

And I found that immensely sad and unjust. I mean everyone's passing is important. Therefore their last rites are just as important. And not putting it in the newspaper, prevents other people from saying goodbye one last time. Just because you're single, with no offspring, doesn't mean that people won't miss you. Of course there's a less negative way at looking how her relatives handled the situation but frankly I can't think of it. Which is why I put up on facebook a suggestion.
If you're going to be single for the rest of your life, then you must interact with your friends and friends' children. Have all kinds of friends and don't withdraw from the world. Otherwise, when you go, there'll be no one to remember you. My parents have some single friends, at this age. When they go, should they outlive my parents, I'll still definitely remember them. I may not have known them very well, but I'll remember how they interacted with me. So yes, just a note out there, Have many friends, meet them up, keep in contact and make your mark on your friends, because that may be the only way you can make your mark on the world.

Okay, now onto another topic.
oh crap, i've forgotten another thing I wanted to talk about.
Okay never mind.

Moving on....
I was thinking about Chick-lit stuff. You know like movies, and books? I'm a big fan of Chick-lit. I think I've even defended it before on this blog, or it might have been about hindi movies. Anyway, so you know I watche/read them.
Well lately I've been disappointed of them of late. I knwo that with fluffy material like that, if you read/watch enough of them, you can predict the ending. You KNOW who will end up with whom and what will happen. Its inevitable. And I used to be fine with that. But for some reason, its been bothering me. The predictability of such storylines is dare I say it, boring me and I've been thinking about taking a "sabbatical" from such material and focusing on perhaps, more serious fiction.
The thing is, I love love stories(despite my ring tone) and I love romance. The sweeping off of the lady's feet, the chemistry you can see between the characters, it all just thrills me and well, sort of gives me hope(though I KNOW no self-respecting Singaporean guy has no intention of embarrassing himself like that). So, what do I do?
As I think about write about this, I have the movie Easy A on download and I'm looking to find Post Grad online too, both real chick flicks. AND I'm excited to watch Band Baaja Baarat, a hindi lovestory/comedy soon.

Anyone got any suggestions?

Broke and Upset about it

2010-12-05T02:38:00.004+08:00

Hello again children.

I thought I'd be fine with the whole being broke thing.

Unfortunately, I'm not.

There are simply too many things out there that I want to buy and that I supposedly "need" and people that I really do need to meet and meeting friends cost money anyway you look at it.

AND ITS KILLING ME.

And don't give me the "get a job" spiel. By the time I FIND one, the hols'll be over and I'm back at school. And I can barely negotiate a school timetable, that ends exactly when I want it and has a 3-day work week let alone a job thrown in. So I'm just going to like stick to pocket money.

But wow, I need to find things to do that don't require money at all. Though I suppose one can't do anything without transport so I'll try to come up with things to do without spending money AT ALL.

1. exploring the big houses near my area.
always wanted to do this but somehow never got round to doing it during the 8 month break or the 3 month summer hols. pathetic i know.

2. exercising
( i dont particularly enjoy this suggestion, but its so smack in your face, I had to type it)

3. re-arranging drawers and wardrobe and clearing of STUFF
again i don't enjoy this but it HAS to be done and doesn't require a cent.

4.Swimming
I like the water. but this is strictly for people who already HAVE seen me in a swim suit and that limits it to like 2 people apart from my parents' friends' children.
And they're not in town currently.

5. Visiting a museum.
I think my student card lets me enter for free for most exhibits, though I'm not sure about Pompeii. Still, would be a good outing. plus, lots of walking(=exercise) involved.

6. Going to Botanic Gardens and people gazing/cloud-watching.

7. Randomly coming up with a dance routine for a song(may come in handy in the future).
*note: time and energy required and cannot be performed in public space*)

8. Visit a friend?
(this is NOT called free-loading)...........okay well maybe it is.

Okay I can't come up with anything else at the moment and I desperately need to sleep so that I can wake up at 7 to go and RUN (its more of a SLOWWWWW jog but yes, must be done sooo..... gotta go)

tons of love, and shall continue this REAL soon.

shini

2010-11-28T23:56:00.002+08:00

Its amazing what lessons you learn when your mother goes to Sydney for 3 weeks.
Already in the first week I learnt that I really should never do the dishes without gloves, which SHE's been trying to do for the past 4 years at the very least.
And I've also realised that the damn laptop IS bad for me. I've got a bloody headache from the glare I think. Unfortunately, I learnt this particular lesson at the wrong time when I HAVE to be staring at the screen, memorising points for the exam tomorrow.
Sigh.

Wonder what I'll learn in the 2nd week.

Shini

P.S. "mama can you hurry up and come HOME? its weird here. "

2010-11-28T02:43:00.002+08:00

Wouldn't it be ridiculously ironic if I, a Political Science student, did badly in a module called Government and Politics of Singapore? A module that Computing and Engineering students take as an Arts GEM(General Exposure Module to those non-NUS peeps) or as a Singapore Studies module. I mean how can you take yourself seriously if you can't even argue intelligently and defend your opinions about you own country's politics? And yet, because its my LAST paper, and its over the damn weekend, and I had so much time to study for it, I have no motivation to study for it, so that is why i'm back to having 24 hours to study for it.

Its like I don't LEARN from past mistakes. Seriously, how stupid can one person BE?
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions"-don't know who said/wrote it and I know its not exactly appropriate in this case, but I WAS full of good intentions.

You know what shini, just screw you and your future.
GO TO SLEEP and do your usual crap, I give up.

wow. I'm crazier than I thought.

2010-11-26T12:37:00.002+08:00

LISTEN UP FRIENDS!

from the 4th to the 11th of DECEMBER, I will be unavailable to go out with you.

Why you ask?

Well, the blunt truth of it is that.........I'M BROKE.
Or at least I will be anyway.
So I figured I'd better inform all my friends, or rather the ones who bother to check out my blog, that I can't go out. I'd say that you are free to sponsor me on the outing, but I honestly don't like people paying for me much unless we NEED to meet and I'm truly broke or if its my birthday(then I absolutely refuse to pay a cent).

Therefore, please contact me, after the 11th, or on the 11th itself and we can set up a date!
Though I must warn you, after the 11th, my mother comes home from her UBER-long trip in Sydney, and she'll have lots of plans for the rest of the month, sooooooo you may have to fight with that for my dates. (i like sounding extremely popular, but the truth of it is that I'm dying to go out and meet you guys)
Just to warn you the 12th and 18th are already booked and probably another date as well, maybe the 19th cuz we have yet to host our annual DIWALI EXTRAVAGANZA for the parents' friends and offspring. SO yeah that's the short of it.

Oh! But you're more than welcome to call and stuff? Cuz I'll be most likely spending my days at home, re-arranging wardrobes and drawers and reading and baking(?) and maybe cooking(best not to call when i'm doing the latter 2; i might bite your head off, or you might hear some hysterical screaming and weeping) so yes, I'll be a good little home-maker (mother would be so proud).

Anyway, this brings me to the point that money is an extremely sensitive issue huh? People don't like outwardly talking about it, or saying that they don't have any(who does really?)
I personally am fine with talking about money, or at least admitting I don't have any. Yes its a reflection of my ridiculous spending habits and my inability to save, but you know what, its okay! At least then I can GET help for it right?
I'd like to talk more about this issue, but my mind's not into it right now.
so ciao for the moment!

love love,
shini

"It Gets Better" — Love, Pixar

2010-11-23T19:35:00.000+08:00

2010-11-19T17:17:00.002+08:00

I wanted so badly for this semester to be better and for me to do better. But I guess a lepoard doesn't change its spots. I really really wanted to pull my CAP up and DO better, but I have a feeling that its going to be the same this time as the last. I am absolutely unprepared for my first paper tomorrow and I'm still not panicking or freaking out. I still think that I'll get it done, and I'll be fine and I'll do decently well. Just because I got B+ for the essay, does not mean I'll do well for the exam itself. And it is a huge percentage of the final grade.
What's wrong with me? Why can't I learn from My lessons and others? How can I preach to my sis and her friend about not studying in time and enough for their A levels when I'm doing the same thing now?

Sigh. The thing is, when I decided to be more positive as person and stop becoming a bitch when I have deadlines and exams but isn't this behaviour just ridiculous optimism? Foolish idealism? How can I do well if I don't study enough?

And at the same time, all I can do now is to just pull myself up, and force myself to study and BE OPTIMISTIC.
*rolls eyes*

sigh common shini you can do this!

urgh.

2010-11-13T02:06:00.003+08:00

you're not supposed to badmouth your family members on the internet, specially if your friends can see it. but if your family members are the ones that are putting you in a foul mood, and you can't take it, THEN what do you do?

keep it in?
write in a diary?
or just distract yourself with booze/music/comedies/food and forget about it?

2010-11-13T00:44:00.002+08:00

why is it any of anyone's business what my size is or my weight?

I mean seriously, why to people tell ME that I cannot become fat, or put on weight? Its absolutely none of their business at ALL! I mean what am I aesthetically unpleasing to the eye that you have to TELL me that I need to lose weight? Or try and be "polite" and HINT that I should not get fat? what so that in the future I'll be able to get a good-lookin guy to marry me? like seriously!

IT IS ABSOLUTELY NONE OF ANYONE'S BUSINESS!!!! especially since its my bloody body and I'm not even obese or anything. Sure I'm fat if you want to say so but its not like a problem that can't be solved. If you're telling me that I am single because I'm unattractive because of my size, than screw you, you shallow creature. Furthermore, IF i was determined enough and worried enough i COULD lose the required weight and tone and SLIM down in time. So please, don't worry yourself about my size and my weight. I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself without any help.
oh and also, I may laugh at jokes about my curves, but if you push me on a bad day, when I really AM feeling down and bloated about it, I WILL rip your head off.
Just a friendly warning.

Raavan

2010-10-15T21:23:00.002+08:00

I just watched the hindi version of Raavan, starring Abhishek and Aishwarya Bachchan and Vikram. I absolutely have to deconstruct it. I really should be spending my time mroe wisely, but I really can't think of anything else. so...

WARNING WARNING: SPOILERS UP AHEAD!!!!
as in like the WHOLE story.

Okay, I really don't feel like going through the WHOLE story. I just want to say that it was a brilliant movie. absolutely positively brilliant.
Apparently it was a flop, but I honestly don't see why. The three main characters, are so complex and they showed their complexity through the acting. Mind you, I might be a little biased because I love Abhishek and Aishwarya. Separately and I guess together too.

I found it interesting that instead of most probably sticking to the same plot of the Ramayana, which is what most people thought would happen, they not only tried to create a whole other narrative but the characters weren't as one-dimensional as in the epic tale. Its very easy to portray Beera as a complete and absolute evil character, a tyrant of sorts, that rules above the tribals and local folk alike, and to portray Dev as the policeman with a gold-plate character, the hero of the film. Even Ragini, the heroine, and the lead actor was not simply the female protagonist that pines for her husband and despises Beera. Its not that simple and easy. The writer understood that humans are not as easy to confine in boxes like that.
Beera breaks rules and kills and tortures people, yes. However, people don't really do all that just for fun. And if they did, other people would not revere them. I think Abhisehk does Beera quite well, the slight craziness, the evilness, the reluctant gentleness. And Vikram was a truly formidable Dev, not perfect in his methods, not willing to negotiate with "criminals". Thank god though that he wasn't involved with the raping of Beera's sister Jamuniya. And omg Aishwarya, I have NO idea how she managed to film all that, TWICE. Seriously. And she really seemed extremely comfortable with Vikram, as her husband. Yet, halfway, you could see her warming to Beera.

OKAY I thought I could de-construct the movie, but I realise that I'm not eloquent enough to do so. Oh and lord the location that the movie was shot in. Simply marvelous! The shots, the water, everything. Made me wonder where on earth is that and oh, that scene on the bridge truly had me fearing for the actors' lives. That was beyond scary! and the scene before that, where total chaos had broken out! I've realised that I quite like fight scenes. So long as they don't look TOO fake. Also, people give grief that Abhishek is like the only actor that's not beefed up and that Aishwarya's become fat. I think that's extremely unfair and untrue. I mean come on, yes, I think that if actors are going to be famous, and on screen, they should be beautiful. But I mean hello? Have you SEEN Aiswarya's face? with NO makeup, and mud on her face, she STILL looks gorgeous. And I think Abhishek looks very good-looking too!. And I mean come on, it looks stupid if these characters are all buffed up with six-packs and slim waists. Seriously. I for one and glad that Abhishek looks the way he does, and Aishwarya too. Makes me "hate-envy" them less. And really WHO looks perfect in real life anyway? Unless you really value body-perfectness that much la.

Oh! And I think Govinda was quite amusing as his character of Sangeevni. Provided a little amusement. People also say that the first half of the story is paper-thin, but I mean I think that not revealing much in the beginning is kind of the point. Makes you want to find out.

This wasn't a very good de-construction but what the hell.

ciao!
shini

Romance and BGR

2010-10-10T03:15:00.003+08:00

First of all, I know I'm old enough for them not to be called BGR but I felt nostalgic.

Anyway, moving onnnnnn, I know I talk and complain a LOT about being single, and its highly annoying to everyone (including myself) so I've been trying to cut down on the whining. However, I find relationships very interesting so I just like talking about them.

I was wondering, would you be in a relationship, if you knew that you don't see it as a long term thing? What I mean is, I mean you're not having sex or anything, but yeah la making out and stuff. However you know without a shadow of a doubt that you don't see you two lasting forever and ever, amen. You for example, don't see you getting married to each other. In fact, unless there are DRASTIC changes, you don't want to even entertain the idea of marriage. And let's face it, every girl or at least almost every girl thinks about marriage or the idea of it. Even at the age of like 16 or something.

Then, what's the point of the relationship in the first place? I know there are relationships where, you don't want to become attached, and its casual. But I'm talking about full on boyfriend and girlfriend, albeit a bit PG 13 la the action. Gifts are exchanged and everything. Almost like a YEAR. Then? No point right? If you don't see a future, or as long-term, then frankly what's the point in even continuing it for NOW. At some point you're going to have to grit your teeth, sit down and Break Up with the Person. It's also not very fair to the person right, them thinking that they have a very happy future together and stuff and you're sitting there wondering "how the HELL do I break up with this person!?" . Just stringing them along is not fair and just wastes time. So yeah I plain don't see the point in all of it.

Okay, new idea. I am actually quite glad that I'm single. I truly am. I mean I don't think I can handle the pressure and the stress. FROM MY MUM AND DAD AND EVERY RELATIVE AND FAMILY FRIEND. Seriously. My parents are such social butterflies, bloody know everyone and drag US everywhere so even if the friends don't remember our names, for SURE cannot forget faces right? Can you imagine having to worry about at LEAST 50 odd people seeing you when you're out with boyfriend? I'm stressed just THINKING about it. And then, when you want to go out, always must say you're going out with someone else. and DON'T take pictures. and like when you want to go out with alibi friends, for real, your parents are wondering why you're going out with them when you JUST saw them last week. So you tell another lie. Literally a WEB is created, of lies. Its jolly ridiculous la. And the sheer number of people you have to draw into your web as covers is substantial too. All because your parents dont think you should DATE. Because they dont trust the guys. Who CARES about the guys! You should trust your DAUGHTER right? If she is not interested, she's not going to let the dude get FAR. And if she does like him and get asked out ,you should be happy cuz it means that your daughter is not hideous and won't die alone. What, you really think she'll get pregnant or contract a STD on the date? Is she THAT easy? or stupid to get "raped" while on a date?
I mean she was disturbing enough to cut out articles about murders and rapings and fires and death for nearly a YEAR and put them in a scrapbook. She's quite well-versed in what to look out for and to protect herself. Honestly.
would you rather she lie and sneak around or to tell you straight in the face that she has a boyfriend? Because as weird as it is (specially for Asians), daughters or least some, still want you the parents to know about their lives, so that they can advice and prevent heartbreak. Deep deep down, they do. And wouldn't you want to know EVERYTHING that's going on in their lives? How would you feel if there were some things that you didn't even KNOW about? All because you have some warped views on how your children should live like. abit hypocritical don't you think? Because you didn't adhere to YOUR parents' view of how you should live.

shini

2010-10-05T01:34:00.002+08:00

There's been this thing that's been bothering me of late.
I'm talking about the whole conversion-at-the-deathbed thing.

Don't know what I'm talking about?

Well not to speak ill of any particular community, but I mean its obvious that a large percentage of Indians in general are Hindus right? Well, within the families, sometimes there are Christian converts. Now, when an old lady or man dies, or is dying, on their deathbed, sometimes, these converts while visiting them may or may not approach the idea of conversion with them. Meaning asking them if they want to convert to Christianity. Perhaps citing that Jesus will take away their pain, and that its never too late to convert. I don't know exactly what they say. Whatever it is, and whatever they say does not matter. Reason being that it all comes to light when said elderly person passes on and the matter of the funeral preparations have to be settled and suddenly, instead of the usual rites for a Hindu cremation, there is a Christian or Catholic service and cremation (no burial in spore anymore).

*Gasp* shock! "I didn't know she was Christian? I thought she's so devoted to DurgaMata?"

Hence , we come to the conclusion that the elderly person was basically converted on his/her deathbed. I'm not accusing anyone or anything but this seems to happen especially when the elderly person has like a son or daughter that has converted and said son/daughter or his/her relatives somehow converted the elderly person. This also seems to happen especially when the elderly person has been suffering a lot over a long period of time. It makes more sense right?

I've got absolutely nothing against Christianity. Honestly I don't. I know there are certain denominations of the faith that advocates the preaching and spreading of said faith. Meaning, in layman terms, "convert more people, and you're more likely to go to heaven"
If I've paraphrased wrongly, please excuse me and I do apologise.

Now, this is all well and good. I mean, if that's part of your belief, then fine.

However, going after senior citizens, and "preying" on them when they're in their most vulnerable state, in great pain, or basically waiting to die and telling them that this other God will protect you, take away your pain and look after your "after-life" is simply evil, pathetic and despicable.
Strong words for strong feelings.
Seriously, how can you do that?
Especially to a mother or an aunt who's at the end of her life. Let them have the ending they expected and desired. And don't be so sly as to ask them when they're not even lucid enough to comprehend what you're asking or worse, take anything they say as assent.
Furthermore, what does YOUR religion or faith have to do with you're mother or father or aunt's faith? Why do YOU feel the need to ask your elder if they want to convert to another religion, after literally worshipping another God all their life? I just don't get it.
It just makes me really really sad la. Like my sister said, won't the elderly person not find peace then?
Worse still, I'm worried that this may actually happen in MY own family, though it probably won't if my dad has anything to say about it.
Then again, Paise bolte.

sigh.

now, I'm melancholic and emotional.

nights all.

shini

2010-09-21T13:36:00.002+08:00

I realise that I haven't updated this thing in a REALLY long time. Then again, I know of others who've completely given up in blogging. I was actually thinking of trying out Twitter, because I figured that Twitter is a lot like blogging, only in smaller quantity. People still read your thoughts, just not whole stories. Which is probably why there can be misunderstandings from tweets, because the whole story is not written there. A whole truckload of Bollywood stars have twitter now and people are almost being classified into those who tweet and those who don't. Those who don't scoff and sneer at those who do and those who do think that those who don't aren't with it.

I personally think that if Bollywood stars tweet, many of them do so simply for publicity. To promot their upcoming movie. And its quite "coincidental" how certain stars get twitter, just before their latest movie is about to be released. Some stars on the other hand, have twitter because they honestly want to have it to put their thoughts on. To communicate with their fans so they don't seem so untouchable. I think that if stars are more reachable, they don't lose their "coolness" factor, simply cuz you can reach them by tweet. I mean you still see them on screen,and they're still in a whole other country quite far away. And that country is HUGE so the chances of a chance meeting are a million to zero. So yeah the "coolness" factor is still there but not SO present. For me, stars I didn't like before, seem a whole lot more likable now. More likeable=more likely to watch the movie=$$$$$ for them!
So I say everyone get on to twitter, just for the right reasons.
AND STAY UPDATED MAN!

On a whole other note, I really need to go shopping soon. like DESPERATELY
and yes,I am aware of how shallow and boring and bimbotic this post makes me look.
But frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. (quote quote from i'm not sure where!)
Besides, I think I've written a fair few "deep" posts to allow me some frivolous ones. I'm all out of "deep" thoughts I'm afraid.

I honestly have nothing else more to say, so I'll just log off and come back to my blog when i have something worthy to say.

love,
shini

P.S. School's started, its recess week now which means a whole 6 weeks have already passed and I still know nothing about my modules. Not a very good sign. Got 4 essays to write and I haven't started on ONE. Lord i'm a lard-ass. need to lose weight too. ARGH.
ta!

3-2

2010-08-20T01:43:00.002+08:00

Well I've popped a cherry.

Before the jaw-dropping and the how-could-yous and plain HOW-THE-HELL-YOU-DON'T-EVEN-HAVE-A-BFs, I did write A cherry. not THE cherry. Also, if I did have sex, do you REALLY think I'd be writing it HERE for all to see, including FAMILY members?!

*rolls eyes*

lord.

I'm talking about SOCCER!
More specificly, the fact that I, have finally and ACTUALLY watched a soccer match LIVE in a stadium. And not just any match. ooooohhh nooo... A match in which my country was represented aaaannnnddd...(wait for it)....

WON!!!

Yes people, Singapore actually won. Against Montenegro. It was a brilliant experience. Seriously. I don't think My virgin experience could be any better. I mean there were 3 yellow cards, 1 red card, 1 penalty, 5 goals and oodles (yes oodles;i've always wanted to use that word) of really great football playing by BOTH teams. It was EVEN more exciting because the PM himself with a whole bunch of Ministers (i think, i only had eyes for the PM) came! He was sitting in the upper deck of the Grandstand and I've never seen the PM like LIVE before. EVER! it was a very very good match, completely entertaining, with excellent company(my two cousins, the older one who was a backseat coach/critic/player all rolled into one) and a fabulous atmosphere.
And after the World Cup, I had been missing the soccer action since I don't have mio and papa wouldn't get it, I can't watch my beloved Chelsea in the Epl. So i'm basically deprived of soccer till the next flippin' World Cup. And it really felt good to jump up and scream at the top of your voice cuz Spore scored.

HOWEVER.

While the spectators were appropriately enthusiastic for singapore, they were also awful hosts. Poor montenegro. Didn't even clap when they came out, or even when they scored.I mean of course not screaming when the penalty was shot is understandable but a genuine goal? and when the players got subbed, you're supposed to clap for the player leaving the pitch and the one entering the field, but NO! they didn't! They even BOOED if the ref gave them a free kick. I mean COMEON. Be a little more sporting la. I mean I'm sure that they would have prepared themselves for the negativity, hello how can you not; you're playing the host in HOME GROUND. But they're still athletes, and they're still kids. Granted, thoses dudes looked like giants next to our sporean players. No kidding. And prolly a whole lot hotter too(i couldn't see their faces properly which is why i'll watch the replay or smth if they show to check them out) but STILL. Sigh, i felt really bad for the other team. and some of them were really nice too, when they somehow banged into the sporean player, they'd offer help and see if he's okay and all that.

I think spectator's performance matters too, which is why it's always a pet peeve for me. It really annoys me and I mean athletes are performers too,they want recognition and applause. So yeah. anyway, my cousin says he'll try and get tickets for the semis.
Against Bolivia!

oooohhhh I totally cannot wait!

YAY SINGAPORE YOU GUYS WERE FANTABULOUS AND YOU MADE FOR BRILLIANT SOCCER TO WATCH! THOROUGHLY ENJOYABLE!!!

WE WONNN!!!!!!!

And Obviously, Great game to Montenegro, I really do think so from the bottom of my heart. Very good and close game. yay!!!

love
shini

Om shanti om

2010-07-02T00:34:00.002+08:00

The movie was supposedly a hit obviously but I didn't realise how much I like the movie till I watched it a THIRD time.

I only watched it the first time was cuz my sis loves Shah Rukh Khan and so she HAD to watch it. Also, I have to admit, the guy can act.

I'm sitting here, watching it for the third time and I realize that the movie, actually had some good and real points. The idea that if you really REALLY want something, the universe will conspire to ensure that you get it in the end. Cuz I mean you will obviously be working to it so yeah. And the idea that people's lives should have happy endings. I just think that's amazing. ANd for some reason, when that climax happened, I felt so so SO sad. like inside heart hurting kind of sad. acting must have been superb then huh?

shini

2010-06-28T13:18:00.002+08:00

Well I'm back from Phuket. I've told so many people about the trip that now I can't bear to talk about it here. So let's just say that it was a very interesting experience and that I'll never be the same after it.

I had a lot of thoughts I wanted to pen down and explore, but I didn't have a pen on me. I'm technically supposed to be doing household chores, as well as looking for a job, but I'm procrastinating and putting it on hold.

okay, this was a waste of time, cuz I truly have nothing in my head.

love, shini

Phuket and World Cup

2010-06-17T15:33:00.002+08:00

I'm going on a trip in 2 days. Going to Phuket on saturday, till wednesday. I'm hoping that the people I'm going with don't read my blog and don't know it exists but truthfully, I'm not looking forward to the company. I'm excited purely for the location. The last time I was in Phuket was like at least 10 years ago, so I barely remember it. The tsunami of 2004 also would have changed much, both the people and the coastline. In that sense I'm looking forward to going back to that lovely place. However, though the people I'm going with are perfectly nice and warm, they're not exactly my age per se and I'm not very good with children of ages between 7 and 12. Before and after I'm alright but that particular age group is difficult for me. I'm sad that one of the people that usually does go, isn't this time, so the trip will definitely be strange without her. I'm just really really hoping that the trip will be fun and relaxing.

The thing is, the World Cup is on now and I just KNOW I'm going to miss some matches that I really want to watch. Officially I support Spain, France, Argentina and South Korea. I watch Portugal just for Christiano Ronaldo and I'm not ashamed to say it. Hello?! I AM a girl after all! However, I will instinctively support the underdog in a match. It was extremely embarrassing for Spain to lose last night to Switzerland, but I'm almost hoping that Spain DOES come up against Brazil, just because I know Brazil will slaughter them and it would serve them right for doing so badly against the Swiss in the first place. Sympathetic fan I am not. I really do like watching soccer, and not just for the hot guys(though those are in small quantity lately). I like the game itself and I can see if a goal will go in or not, at least from the angle itself and when they're offside or not. I look forward to a fast game, and can't bear it when they're slow. Cards make the game interesting, as do penalties but even just a well-done play is good too. So to the guys who think I watch if just for the players, YOU'RE WRONG. The hot players are a BONUS, not the REASON.

its interesting to see how different people watch soccer. Yesterday night I was yelling at the tv, which is not new for me. Doing it in front of people is new for me. Then again, they're so close to me, its not embarrassing. My father watches it quite quietly and most guys do too I think. My cousin says girls are very noisy, but then again, how can not be? We're ALWAYS noisy, and soccer is exciting so duh! My friend says I'm just as entertaining as the tv, but then again, she doesn't really watch soccer much, except the World Cup. I shall take that as a compliment.

Sigh. Okay, enough blabbering. Gotta go do laundry.

ciao lovies!
shini

Korean Drama

2010-06-10T01:00:00.002+08:00

I have a confession to make.

I watch korean dramas.

Well technically I've only watched like 2 and I'm currently on my third.
I don't know what it is about them since the ones I've watched are just basically drawn out romantic/family dramas but you get really hooked on them! It helps that there isn't like season 1 and season 2, just one run of the show and that's it. They're fun to watch, and I'm so used to watching shows with subtitles that it doesn't take away from the real emotions shown on the show.

At the same time, I don't know why, but its sort of embarrassing for me to admit that I watch them. Maybe its my circle of friends and people or the general view that they're fluffy and ridiculous or whatever. I mean, when I watched Hana kimi, the taiwanese version on tv, or I tried to, my dad and mum were appalled and wondering why on earth am i doing it? My sister watched with me of course. They basically gave us grief about it. Then, again when me and sister were drawn and I mean literally DRAWN into watching Boys Before/Over Flowers, the korean drama, again, father teased and gave grief. Thank goodness he didn't catch on when I watched the short but sweet, You're/He's Beautiful. So can you really blame me for giving father grief for watching some Billionaire show, also a Korean drama on KBS and even TAPING it when he went out? I don't think so. He can still jack me back when he saw me watching Smile, You, the third Korean drama which I'm watching now online, after I made noise about him taping the other show. Humph.

I refuse to be embarrassed about watching dramas, Korean OR Hindi cuz they're fun and nice and quite frankly easy entertainment. If I wanted to LEARN something, I'D PICK UP ONE OF THE MANY BOOKS LYING AROUND MY HOUSE thank you very much.

humph.

and double humph.

shini

2010-06-04T01:42:00.002+08:00

I'm going to assume that noone reads my blog. simply because i'm too lazy to take out my diary and write in it and I'd rather type and I need to get something off my chest so I'm writing in the smallest font so people won't be bothered to take the effort to squint and read it.

I"m going to be happy and cheerful and fine and normal and nice ALL THE FREAKING TIME from now on. Depressed and crabby shini is no more. I'm going to be in a good mood all the time. At least I'll portray that. To other people. I'll only be secretly sad and depressed on the inside. By myself and not tell anyone. Because depressed and crabby shini is not fun. My sisters both say so. People miss that shini. The nice and fun and normal shini. So I'll be her again. On the outside. Cuz its really not fair to other people. So yeah. Only I hope I do a good enough job so people can't tell. And since noone reads the blog, or at least I'm assuming here, its all good. Cuz i mean sad people are overrated and EVERYONE seems sad and having problems. so a positive person is attractive and useful.

shini

2010-06-03T13:51:00.002+08:00

Wow. okay I did really really badly. Won't give the specific details, cuz that'll depress me even more. Its interesting; I don't think I've ever been embarrassed about my grades before. I mean I am not a smart student, not a hardworking one so my grades have been mediocre at best and downright terrible at worst. However, I've never been embarrssed about them. I've always thought that hey, I can do better, eventually and I DO do better eventually. That always sort of cheered me up. I don't know why I'm in such a shock that I did so badly this time, cuz i really and truly did not study. AT ALL. I mean I brought down to a new low. I guess I sort of achieved what I wanted in the end. To se how badly I could score with the most minimum amount of studying. But I didn't think I'd actually feel EMBARRASSED about the results considering I had always expected it deep down and I KNOW that I really did not study this sem. I guess, this is unforseen side effect of my little "experiment". I mean I could always say that, "don't worry shini, next sem you WILL study, all the time and not have to rush your assignments(though those weren't the problem) and you'll be more prepared for the finals(those WERE the problem) the 41hours a week and all that (calculated by a friend to be the number of hours a week I should be studying or at least reading)". And yes, I truly believe that I will do that because I mean, I WANT to get my As like everyone else. I WANT to be offered Honours like everyone else and I WANT to get like First Class or at least Second Upper. I WANT to study so hard and SO much that I've really tried EVERYTHING and to have NO regrets. I want to get those many As that everyone else gets. I want to feel like I'm smart and hardworking and as good as everyone else. So I will try harder next semester and study all those hours and do really well in my assignments and finals and even talk in Pol science tutorials. But the thing is, next semester is really far away and I'm feeling depressed NOW and I can't really DO anything about it.

THIS SUCKS. and its all my fault.

shini

2010-05-20T04:16:00.002+08:00

There's this song, by Imran Khan, the singer, called Bewafaa and its my current favourite. A friend had sent it to me, quite some time ago, and while I had liked it then, it didnt' like catch my attention. You know when songs come out or when you first listen to some songs, some will just catch you? The songs from Aladin and more recently Raavan did that to me a bit. Just kept listening to them over and over again and it was love at first sound. And I'm not even talking about the usual danceable songs, which are a given. I loved the song You May Be from Aladin. And as usual I can't pinpoint what exactly it is that I love about it so much. Anyway, Bewafaa wasn't like a first love(sound). It took a while to like and then wham! love!

Now I can't stop listening to it. Imran Khan's other song Ni Nachle is my phone's ringtone(yes i have a ringtone that people can HEAR; I don't like my phone being on silent) Weirdly enough, those are the only twos songs of his that I just ADORE. The rest or whatever I've heard, just doesn't jump out at me.

Also, I watched this girl's version of Mayya Mayya from Guru and the girl's like 11 or something. Bloody HELL she's got a fab voice on her! I'll try and put the videos up. That's another song that just stuck on me like a barnacle. Especially HER version. Actually, the other version done by another contestant, older this time, in the previous season or something was VERY different, some might say weaker, but it grew on me as well.

Actually, I had something else to talk about here, but I think as I typed, I just changed mind, unconsciously. Weird things happen. anyway, if I remember, or the urge becomes too great, then you can expect to see another post:)

enjoy the vids(if they're up!)

Love love!!!

shini

the original. excuse the skimpily clad malika sherawat( slut of bollywood in my opinion) and the bad dance moves.

Chori Chori Chupke Chupke

2010-05-13T04:41:00.003+08:00

There are few things in the world worse than losing a child. But I just realised something. Having a miscarriage and then not every being able to conceive or carry a child is pretty close. Being so ready and close to having a child, and then for some reason that's snatched from you is bad enough but being told that you can NEVER conceive or carry a child is like driving the stake further in your heart and twisting it.

The hindi movie Chori Chori Chupke Chupke introduces this sort of situation to the Indian masses. My favourite actress Rani Mukerji does a wonderful role of Priya Malholtra, the woman burdened with such a situation. Her and her husband's solution to the problem is unique. I shan't revela anymore than I already have but I really do recommend the movie. Its not your typical love-story round a coconut tree or in European scenery (though they do shoot quite a fair bit in Switzerland; they have to show SOME nice scenery! plus its interesting how the scenery is juxtaposed later) . Now that I think about it, the movie is quite well-done and written, even with the locations and background playing a role in the story. I know this is really random but the songs were up on papuyaar.com and I just happened to come across it. Peeps, I really do recommend you check it out. There is a version on youtube, with eng subs!
The link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6j0gkJotT2k&feature=related
Just copy and paste yea?
Anyway, I gotta get somewhere by 12pm and its already 5am so I gotta get to sleep for a bit!
love love
shini

2010-05-12T03:34:00.002+08:00

I can't BELIEVE that they didn't go. I mean REALLY??? Okay, technically we didn't go either, on the day itself, BUT we did visit the day before. Ate dinner and everything, though I think the eating might have irritated her a little. But seriously, how could they NOT go? Of ALL days, after this whole ordeal?She doesn't even have a proper birthday! None of them, NOT ONE visited her. And none of that bullshit about not KNOWING what day it was because thanks to the media, EVERYONE knew. I mean radio and everything. So none of the "I didn't realise it was today". And even if they didn't know, what they can't visit out of LOVE? They went (sort of) when she was in the hospital. I mean she's still on the bloody tube and still can't EAT. I know I'm probably giving out too much information, airing dirty laundry in public and all that but I suddenly needed to vent. I didn't get a chance to do so properly earlier.

Besides, unless I've TOLD you about it, you wouldn't actually know. so its okay. I'm just amazed and flabbergasted by the coldness and blatant lack of regard for someone who's cared SO much for you. Just because she doesn't live with you doesn't mean that she's not your priority. How can such people be so uncaring? I mean do you not have consciences? Seriously are they defective or something? When I don't call for weeks, I feel bad! So bad that when I have a minute, I do call. Because I do remember. I can't speak very well, (my abiliy has worsened ssubstantially actually, I can't remember even simple words) but I still try. She probably doesn't even hear or listen or appreciate it cuz I'm not all eager and stuff like the other one, but I mean, I technically have nothing to say. I'm not good with small talk. But I at least make the effort to TRY. Big gestures aren't necessary. Just appearing and talking would be fine.

And the OTHER one! Threatening to send her to the other house! I mean how can you do that to someone who's old and been sick! Seriously. Its terrible, it really is. Nobody said it would be easy, and yes, she's a difficult patient. However, you ARE the youngest, WITH a maid that you aren't paying for, you aren't married, no children and apparently you have such wonderful qualifications to help all other kinds of people so taking care of her should be no problem. And I think you sort of owe it to the rest of them by selling off their house and going off to India. I mean I'm just saying. Ain't it ironic? You help OTHER people, and yet you complain truckloads when it comes to caring for her. Its not like you don't have a maid to help you. Sigh.

Man, this is like the most "dangerous" post I've ever written here before. I hope to God none of them sees it and catches on to what I'm complaining about. However, given that when you google me, it doesn't come up, I think I'm farely safe. Besides, even if they DO see it, they bloody deserve it.

2010-05-07T00:58:00.002+08:00

Just realised that I've gone past 200 posts. Which is a LOT I think. Anyway, I was watching the video below and I realised that I didn't really dance it well. I think I may have forgotten that I was dancing for REAL or something because there wasn't any energy in the way I danced. I mean compared to some others, it was pretty obvious, at least to me. Which now I realise, made me regret it. Regret not dancing my best, even though its just some alumni thing. I mean I usually put my all on the stage when I have to. Its a new experience, regret on the stage, cuz usually, I prefer my performances to be perfect or as close to perfect as I can get it. I mean its the only area in my life that I can try and perfect. Indian dance is the ONE thing I'm good at I know. Even kathak, I bet if I went for dance classes every week at least and I performed annually like I did for bharatha natyam, I would probably be pretty good.

I'm not tooting my own horn. I still don't call myself a "dancer" because I don't FEEL like I am one. But I have to acknowledge that I mean I CAN at least do Indian dance. So yeah, new experience, regret. Then again, in a way, It was the first time that I really couldn't wait for the show to be over. Even for the NUS performances, when they ended, I felt a bit sad. But this one, (sorry honey!), I really couldn't wait for it to be over. Partly because of the "stress" of losing face, partly because of the costume issue, it just stopped being fun. Technically it was already a burden-ish, though I didn't realise it when I said yes, because of my deadlines that were ridiculously close to the Puyal day. Ultimately, I just don't enjoy the feeling of regret. EVER. but since I've always felt it with regard to exams and work, I'm used to it. But I'm not used to regretting it on the stage. Sigh.

One more paper to go and I'm here writing on the blog. Its like i WANT to fail or something.
Good luck shini

Puyal 2010 Alumni

2010-04-27T22:59:00.003+08:00

These are the videos of the dance, that I helped to choreograph with my senior, for my old jc's alumni dance. Its a technological feat in itself that I managed to get these videos uploaded, IF they can be viewed.

love love!

Love

2010-04-23T05:02:00.003+08:00

I visited the blog belonging to a friend of mine's recently. I haven't been following it regularly (sorry honey!) but I do know that he had a few issues with love. It might be safe to say that those issues are slowly being cleared up(?). I bring this up because I thought of something and thinking about it reminded me of him.

The only kind of love I've experienced is that from family. So in a way I guess that you could say my information is incomplete, but what can you do? Nevertheless, I think that its sufficient for me to be able to decipher my thoughts on this subject in a fairly clear manner.

I think that if you know that you're loved by others, you're a much more different person. As in, take two people. Both are brought up the same. They get married, and both give birth to 5 children. (I'm talking about women here) These women bring up their children. Unfortunately, I can't keep things constant here, because one's family lives in a middle-class suburb and the other, in a kampung. However, we shall assume that their external surroundings suit them. Now, as these women grow old and their children slowly get married off to start their own families, we see the product of their parenting skills. One's children adore her and her husband. They are well taken care of. So much so that when her husband passes away, she too follows suit a few years later. There isn't much scientific evidence here but you can make your own assumptions. The other woman's husband passes away however she lives a long long life till present day. This other woman who lives a long life, lives to see most of her children get married and even has grandchildren approaching their 20s.

However, she has not been loved. She had been virtually shuffled around among her children. Her plan of living with her youngest fell through, when her youngest chose the spouse over her. She spent her life serving her husband and children, and yet when she is old now, somewhere something went wrong because there is not an ounce of filial piety or love in any of the children except what is forced. It takes a month-long-stay in the hospital and a disease that is supposedly going to kill her to get all 5 children in the same room together. When asked, what caused the disease to suddenly appear in a woman who was so conscientious about her health, concrete answers aren't given. Mutterings of "it just happens in old people" are then quickly heard.

Looking at the entire life story of the two women, only one conclusion comes to mind as warped and distorted as it is. One woman was safe in the knowledge that she was loved by those who knew her. The only time she was alone was when she passed. Her children even comment occasionally now, that it was strange that no one was with her at that time but I think it was meant to happen that way. It could explain why she went so quickly and was not in any prolong state of suffering.

However the other woman, though she lived longer, much much longer she was not loved or cared for. The children she wanted to live with pushed her away and the ones who wanted her to live with them, she pushed away. Age catches up and a disease suddenly hits her. Perhaps, the consequence of not being loved and cared for properly after giving so much in her early life, possibly brought on by herself in her unhappiness. For if you don't feel loved, or cared for, chances are you're not particularly happy. Doctors say you can't die from a broken heart, but they also say that if you're sick, if you have the will to survive and your medical condition could swing either way, you will survive. If you're unhappy, so so unhappy, that its been accumulated for at least 25 years, then it could be said that you lose your will to live. Furthermore, your body no matter how conscientious you are, will break down slowly. The lack of will, in my opinion will speed up the process.

This has been the most round-about way of me explaining a thought, but frankly I couldn't think of any other way.
Lesson of the day? Probably the most cliched of them all: tell or at least show your close ones that they ARE at the very least loved by YOU. I know it is not an easy thing to do, specially when being brought up in an Asian society where affection is not openly displayed by family members. However, I think that even just trying to make sure that your loved ones have a good day, especially when you can do something about it, is good enough. It's not a one-off thing mind you! Do try everyday. That way, at the end of the road, when he or she looks back, it looks pretty good and decent and that will let them not mind the obstacles and grumbles and other unhappiness they might have experienced and perhaps pass on peacefully. Afterall, that is the moment we are all worried about right? The moment on your deathbed and you look back and think "did I have a good life?". The answer to that is important not only to yourself but your loved ones who are (hopefully) gathered round your bed. A positive answer will help your surviving family members move on more calmly after you're gone.

So yes, do your best everyday so that at the end, all izz well. Apologies for such a somber post. loves to all (the FEW who read this blog)

love,
shini

Transgenders

2010-04-10T02:32:00.002+08:00

Full interview: Why did you choose to become a woman? @ Yahoo! Video

This is an interview, on Yahoo!
A transgendered person, Adriana Roslan talked about her opinions and life.
I just happened to come across it actually and I mean, personally I just view them as normally people. Some people will sneer, jeer, make crude jokes and I don't think its funny. They really ARE the same as everyone else, they just happened to be born in the wrong body. I mean I guess they got a bad rep from those who solicit as prostitutes. Then again, they should just be looked at as prostitutes and not as transgendered prostitutes. Maybe they had to turn to it cuz noone was hiring? See how that perpetuates into a vicious cycle? So yeah. If you aren't sure what to call them, then just ask. Its simple and polite.

The thing is, when I DO see an transgendered person, I do stare. Not because I'm a hypocrite or anything. Its just that they look so PERFECT. Like seriously!!! Their legs are as long as my entire body, gorgeous figure and expertly applied makeup! I mean how can you NOT stare at them, in ADMIRATION! Seriously. That's all it is. sigh. I swear, the amount of effort they put into their outfits, would put any female to shame.

There is that arguement that if you're BORN a female or a male, you are SUPPOSED to behave like that and have your physical appearence as such. However, I don't believe that. Wouldn't you rather dress as how you FEEL? If you feel and know without a shred of doubt that you're not supposed to be male, or not supposed to be female, then yeah, by all means, change. Change so that you're comfortable. I know this is all very easy to say when no one close to is changing. I mean people would say that well what it your son wanted to have a sex op? Would you be happy? Well, frankly, there'd be some shock. Unless I knew all along, there would be some shock. BUT, I'd be happy. I mean hello? I get to have another shopping partner! Who'd look gorgeous! Of course there's that whole "will she get married and will I get my grandkids?", but there's always adoption! So yeah. And any friends who are thinking about permanent changes, in any form, I say, if you're sure and comfortbale with it, GO FOR IT. Just know that if everybody else abandons you, you'd still have ME:)

love love,
shini

2010-03-31T01:27:00.002+08:00

I've just caught the episode of Friends on Starworld where Chandler proposes to Monica and I realised that I LOVE proposals! Like completely and absolutely love love love watching them! I just think that they're so romantic and so well, hopeful you know? Like we don't know if the marriage will last 50 years or 5, but at that moment in time, you hope that THAT couple are together forever. In that sense, those movies about married couples, are kind of painful, because more often than not, those years when the kids are young, and the parents hardly have any sleep, the marriage is not exactly hopeful. I guess that's why movies don't really have storylines that are about couples in that part of their lives. The only movie I can think of is Revolutionary Road. That was like the only other Leo DiCaprio movie I had watched till then and I actually only watched it because of Kate Winslet, because I wasn't a fan of Leo then. That was a very good movie, LOVED it actually.

2010-03-30T17:55:00.002+08:00

I was searching for this ring that bought sometime ago. It looked pretty delicate so I kept it carefully in its packaging and everything, and obviously put it some where so safe that NOW when I want to wear it, I CAN'T FIND IT. Anyway, Still haven't found it, though I'm hoping that it'll turn up somewhere and SOME point. However as I was looking I found some pieces of jewellery that I've NEVER seen before or at least for a really really long time. My drawer's so full of stuff that when I go looking for something, I end up discovering something else. Its like a real treasure chest! Just felt like writing about that here. Notice that I haven't been writing about the stress I may be feeling or the number of assignments or how screwed I feel? Well, that's because whenever someone asks me about school, I usually tell them that and I always get the feeling that its too much information so now I just say that everything's going fine, all fabulous, school's school and so on. Of course the younger ones are surprised and say that oh that's really positive way of looking at it, and then of course I come clean and say that well, if i'm not positive about it then i'd be feeling depressed and that's not fun so yeah. oh god this is SUCH a horrible post. But whatever.

shini

2010-03-18T01:15:00.002+08:00

This may sound really random, specially when I haven't blogged in weeks, but I just thought of something odd and I had to write it down. For some reason, though I find Aishwarya Rai Bachchan still a little cold and distant at times, but I gotta saym when she dances, she's extremely sexy! And she does it with such panache! I think its because she really gets into the character. Plus I think cuz she's a really good dancer, with good skills. Which is why I really applaud her for doing this song, even though i'm sure even SHE knows she's not as slim as she normally is. But I completely forget about her figure cuz she's so sexy here! Here's another video I love, which she just happens to be in. notice, both videos, she's an ITEM girl, doing moves you wouldn't normally associate her with.

love love
shini

2010-02-27T04:00:00.004+08:00

I came across this website, on Penny's Daybook. Its a quirky way to get over a relationship that ended. Called exboyfriendjewellery.com. I checked out the earrings and the stuff's really quite good! Diamonds and everything! And quite a number of the pieces are new, ( no need to explain why). If it weren't for the fact that I don't HAVE money, and that I'm not a diamonds person, YET, and that I have no way of paying for them (they're all from the US), I'd totally buy a piece.

Only thing that occurred to me was that the pieces, are obviously a reminder of the failed relationship to the owner. Well, one could say that though the pieces are new and have never been worn, there could be some "bad vibes" that could have rubbed off onto the pieces. I know that sounds really ridiculous and superstitious but don't tell me it didn't occur to you either! Of course this isn't limited to just ex-boyfriend jewellery, but to all pre-loved things. (yes the word pre-loved is preferred by many over "second-hand" or worse, "used" *shudder*) You never know what sort of situations the previous owner could have been in when they had worn say, that red skirt? Or perhaps who might have given the previous owner that old indian necklace?

On one hand, the idea of the histories behind each item, gives it flavour and makes it interesting and can even provide a conversation starter. On the other hand, its kinda creepy that other people have used the items before you. You don't know where it could have been and how CLEAN it really is. Then again, if you're the kind to worry about cleanliness, and I mean bing fastidious about it, then you wouldn't be going into the thrift shop in the first place. Still, you wouldn't be able to like, have the first memories of the item. I mean I know that the item isn't like a boyfriend or girlfriend, but you'd always wonder, what had the previous owner gone through with it? You don't have that when the item is new, just like if you date a girl who's NEVER had a boyfriend, or been on a proper date, you know that you don't have to worry about her comparing you to her previous dates or bfs. And yes, I am aware that I just compared a girl to an item, but you KNOW I don't mean it in that degrading way. After all, I AM a girl myself.

Anyway, I'm done wondering about this, and am feeling guilty about wasting the entire saturday away, (BLAME DIVY) so I shall TRY and finish Plato by today even though my prof has finished Aristotle too already, so yes, I am screwed.

LOVE LOVE
SHINI

P.S. I really really REALLY hope that neither of my parents ever find this blog. mama and papa, if you're reading this, DON'T TELL ME IN ANY WAY. and please stop reading, for your sake. Oh! and apparently my dad has a blog too, with receipes on it. I don't know whether to look for it or pretend he never told me and forget that it exists. I'm gonna go with the latter for now.

ciao!
P.P.S. MY MOTHER IS GOING FOR KUMAR STRIPPED! ON FRIDAY!!! and she always said she'd never go. well here she is, going WITHOUT ME. *rolls eyes* my mother has a more happening social life than me, as of this moment, she's getting ready to go out with "the ladies", while I'm sitting on sofa, wondering what the movie on tonight is and whether I should watch it or not. Sigh. ta loves

Kathak ki Kahani

2010-02-20T10:10:00.003+08:00

The above event in the title slot ended 2 days ago, but for some reason I've waited till now to write about it. Don't get me wrong, I'd have definitely written about it but I guess I was just waiting to be in the right frame of mind.

And now I am!

Okay, for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, Kathak ki Kahani is a a production put up by NUS Indian Dance (Kathak), and was one of the programmes included in the Exxonmobile Campus Concerts festival thingy and it was held on the 17th of February(can't believe that's how its spelt), 2010 at the University Cultural Centre in NUS. The concert is about the history of Kathak, a dance form originated from north India and showcased 5 pieces, Bhajan, Holi, Raas, Mughal and Contemporary. I performed in Bhajan and Raas.

Now that the background is over, let's get to the dissection of the experience proper. First of all, I'm not a kathak dancer. Not traditionally. I had been a Bharatha Natyam dancer for a long time, and those of you who know your dance forms, you'll know that they are 2 completely different kinds of dance forms. I mean hello, they originated from geographically different places. So when I was asked to do the dances, I was extremely apprehensive about it. More so when I saw the choreography. There's this thing that appears a lot in Kathak, called chakars. They're basically, turns, either on the spot or while you're moving. The different levels of difficulty are based on how many times you step before turning and of course the speed. People normally turn or spin on their toes, but unless you've been training in contemporary or jazz for years or if you're an ice-skater, your toes will blister and hurt when you spin on your toes, continuously. In Kathak on the other hand, you're supposed to pivot on your heel and keep your balance with your other foot. Slowly, its not a problem, even I can do it, if I practice enough. Its the faster ones that cause the problems.

So you can imagine my horror when I saw that Bhajan ended on like 25 chakars. I was completely convinced that I was screwed. Plus the finale, had me spinning out, from the curtains, and then having to do really fast chakars, 4 at a time. By the time we were lik 2 days away from the show, I was seriously freaking out. I had managed to master the Bhajan spins, but not the finale, and I was seriously worried about spinning off stage in onto someone's lap(the audience was like literally 5 inches or less from the stage). Just before we were going to start, like half an hour before 8pm, I was wringing my hands and pacing in the dressing room and just basically freaking out completely. I had NEVER been so so scared to perform. NEVER in my entire life of going on stage. I was never so insecure. One could almost say stage fright. And I've been going on stage since I was in kindergarten mind you. I mean I could do the dance in my sleep, but at the same time, I could also just blank completely and forget the steps. I wasn't confident at all. And at the same time, I wanted it to be perfect. It didn't help that for the first time I had to change between dances. I NEVER had to do that. So yeah it was safe to say that getting through THIS performance and doing it well was a personal achievement for me.

Did I enjoy myself on stage? Well I'm not one for attention, though it can be hard to believe since I perform a fair bit. But see, I perform because I like dance, not cuz I like the attention. If my family and friends didn't come to the performance, of course I'd be disappointed, but, I'd still be fine. So when I'm on stage, I'm not really enjoying the audience's attention, but I am enjoying the dancing. Or rather the perfection of the dance, on my part. I really like nailing a routine, gives me a rush. When I can't nail it, its such an awful feeling I tell you. And you know what, I was totally enjoying myself on stage, the dancing part. So at some points, the plastered fake smile, was real.
After the show, we was a resounding success by the way, my parents and friends told me we were sitting in the 4th row. Which was kinda near where I was staring at I think. That night's performance was the 1st after 13 years, that my entire family had gone to. The last time, it was in primary 1, when I was playing the little blue bird in Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. You'd have thought that as little bird, I wouldn't do much, but I totally had lines. I was sort of the leading bird, like there was the leading squirrel and leading racoon. I actually remember being on stage and the rehearsals. And on the video, which of course my proud parents bought, you can see that I totally rolled my eyes on stage, presumably cuz I was tired of flapping my wings and flirting with the Prince. It WAS tiring you know. Anyway, I apparently have a habit of unknowingly rolling my eyes on stage, which I hope I didn't do that night. Gotta ask di. Anyway, I'm hungry now so I'm gonna go eat my brunch now. Ciao!

love love,
shini

2010-02-14T01:27:00.002+08:00

I'm in obviously a MUCH better mood right now. I actually should go off to shower( yes at 1.30am), but I gotta write this quick.

About like an hour ago, I was feeling frustrated and tired and just urgh. Cuz I had finished dance, about 8 or 9 hours of it and I have dance tomorrow and the next few days, making sure its perfect for the show, WHICH IT WILL BE THANK YOU VERY MUCH, but yeah its tiring. And NOW, I'm in SUCH a fabulous mood, I could like sing and dance and do turns! its amazing what a really good episode of a favourite show, which you had to wait a WEEK to watch can do to your mood. I just managed, after much tears and blood and sweat, to watch the entire episode of Grey's Anatomy season 6 episode 14 and it was so so cute and wonderful, but also sad which is exactly what I expect from it and I'm just really really happy now (which you can tell cuz i'm totally rambling). And it was so cute, cuz the episode, was on Valentine's day, which it is, officially. Ordinarily, i'd not exactly HATE Valentine's but, just be indifferent to it. After all, I don't have that SPECIAL someone right? of course I'd be wishing all my friends and giving the close ones little presents, but that was in the past I guess, when I did that in school. Now, not so much. At least this Valentine's I get to save money, rather than spend it. So I was kinda feeling bleurgh about it, but after watching the show, I'm in a much better frame of mind I guess. (stilll rambling as you can see). Okay, NOW, i'm just gonna go and shower and do the dishes my kind family has left for me.

love love,
shini

So not in the mood

2010-02-12T23:40:00.003+08:00

I'm really in an urgh mood. I'm just NOT in the mood to talk, and pretend I care, and share my stuff and look pleasant. I just want some food, ANYTHING, a hot shower and some good 'ol vegetation either in front of the com or the tv. I just don't want to come home to loud noises. NOT ON A BLOODY FRIDAY WHEN I'VE BEEN IN SCHOOL THE WHOLE DAY. And when you told me, I thought it'd be a day thing, not an OVERNIGHT thing. Don't you think the OTHER occupants also deserve prior notice, or in you case, permission? I might be bitching, and sounding bitchy, but there you have it, i AM bitchy when I'm exhausted and haven't had much sleep the previous night. deal with it.

Argh. And you know what?

I don't even care if you see this. Although if I know you, you've probably NEVER read my blog. so whatever.

going off to sulk somemore and find FOOD.

shini

Pirates of the Carribbean Trilogy

2010-02-09T17:58:00.002+08:00

I don't know if I've mentioned it here, but I COMPLETELY LOVE LOVE LOVE the Pirates of the Carribbean trilogy!!!

Like really really love love the movies and everything about them. I know people are like, "its just a hollywood-big-blockbuster with so-so acting and action and a whole load of water",(my mother described them to that effect), but I really like the stories and the twists and the weird information you learn and the amazing lines and of course I find Captain Jack Sparrow incredibly hilarious and strangely attractive. I especially love the 2 love stories and how in the end, Davy Jones was reunited with his love Calypso and the ending of Elizabeth and Will's love story could NEVER have been predicted. And let me just say that Will looked delicious after he was made captain of the flying dutchman(though it does disturb me that a DJ in spore is called the flying dutchman as well).

Something about the music in the movies, I don't know how to explain it in words, but I just love listening to the music. Especially this one tune, from the 3rd movie, you'll hear it in the video I'm putting up, the one titled "One Day". The tune from 2.39 onwards, that little thin tune, I truly just LOVE it and I don't know at the same time I just feel sad. Sigh. As you will probably guess, if you know me by now, I just finished watching the 3rd movie. My dad had taped it at my request when Channel 5 showed it on Sun (THANK YOU CHANNEL 5!), and I managed to watch it just now and ooooooohhh*swoons* totally had to offload some thoughts. As well as find some of the songs. Okay, I should go and do some reading before shuffling off for dance practice.

a pretty good version of the original i think

I'll look for the pirate song that they sing. only got the short one

Enjoy!
love love
shini

Star Screen Awards

2010-02-05T22:55:00.002+08:00

I know a lot of people think Bollywood is lame, but well, I don't. So that's why I'm going write a post about the Star Screen Awards which I've just watched on Youtube thanks to a dedicated uploader, who did a marvelous job of uploading the entire show. Anyway, I've always wondered when they show the actors' faces, like during the performances or the jokes, or event he award presentation bits, what they're REALLY thinking in their heads. Since they always have this placcid look on thier faces, very rarely does the smile look real. So they must have something going on in the heads right? If I were at the awards shows I'd be smiling for real THE ENTIRE TIME. seriously. Then again, being SOOOOOOO close to so many stars, is bound to make me grin like an idiot.

I wonder what the stars really think about Salman Khan's performance. The guy performs like every year.Though I find it interesting that he wasn't even nominated this year, even though he had done like 3 films, he still did a pretty long performance, with kids. I thought it was a really good performance, I mean at least he didn't look tired out. I really applaud him you know, for performing almost every year, even though his popularity among his fellow actors has fallen. Lots of the public still like "Salman bhai" but I don't think many of his collegues do. Judging by the looks on their faces anyway when he performs. I personally still like the guy, just cuz he tries to do movies and performs,and has a tv show. And if u watch his old movies, not OLD old, but like some time ago, he's quite quite charming. So he's a fairly decent actor and he's done TONS of movies. So yeah, I really do like him and applaud him for trying. Of course I don't know or think he's the best partner, but whatever.

One thing I gotta mention as well, before I forget is that I hope the stars realise that without their fans, who go and watch their movies, they're nothing. They should totally be thankful to their fans and I also think that they should also sort of expect the fans to want to know all kinds of things about them, because well, that's how adoration works. At the same time, some privacy must be sort of kept, I think including their love lives because I'm guessing with non-famous people, if you go around saying u're with this person, when nothing's confirmed and its still the in-between stage so the other person might be scared off. So yeah, a little give a little take.
okay, i'm tired of typing so i'm gonna go now
LOVE THE STAR SCREEN AWARDS 2010!!! SHAHID WAS so so cute!!!!!!
shini

2010-02-05T00:04:00.003+08:00

I'm just dying to get a new phone. I mean my dad's old phone is perfectly fine and captures great pictures and I can put many songs in it but still. Its not like what I picked. And right now, I'm totally craving a touch phone with a slide out keyboard. Any brand. Sigh. But I have to wait till my plan's done, which is like end of this year.

I'm also dying dying dying to go and buy new shoes. Like dying to spend my Charles&Keith voucher on a pair of heels. Unfortunately I can only go with my sister, so that we can maximise both our vouchers. And she for some reason is so freaking busy that she can't go or every time we happen to BE in the shop, she forgot to BRING the voucher. Sigh.

I also really really need to kick myself to do my work. or someone has to kick me. Seriously. urgh.

shini

Everybody Loves Raymond

2010-02-02T02:01:00.002+08:00

I never used to watch Everybody Loves Raymond, when it was actually running for like the first time. Didn't think it was very funny or appealing.

Well after it ended its first run, Starworld started showing its re-runs after the re-runs of Friends, and I sort of began to watch it, and I'm totally loving it. Yeah sure its funny, and boy can the mother drive ME up the wall. But the thing is, what really surprised me was that the show could really touch my heart. There were actually episodes, in which I cried! Granted I'm somewhat of a crybaby and it could have just been hormones at that point in time, but I still think its quite touching!

Like there was this episode, where Frank was awarded Man of the Year in his club and his sons had to put together something to for the presentation ceremony and they decided to do a video of them getting his friends to say good things about him. Unfortunately, all his "buddies" had nothing nice to say about him so they just asked them how they felt about chocolate and they subbed that in. Obviously in the end, Frank knew that his buddies actually hated him, because Ray and Rob couldn't even get 5 minutes of genuine material from them. And he was really upset, but in the end, Marie told him what she'd have said on the video, and after much persuading, so did he and i just LOVED that bit. Another one I think was about when Marie went on a cruise with Ray while Frank was stuck at home with a broken leg while Rob looked after him and of course you can imagine how both fared. When she came home, he was miserable and irritable and she was in a fab mood. Basically, we sort of learn more about their relationship, that even though they really act like they can't stand each other, they geniunely love each other underneath all that. They even have sex on a regular basis! I totally bawled when watching that (not the sex part), the loving part. And even just now, when Ray discovered that Marie had been reading his diary all those years he kept one and was furious about it, and she was just the most upset about when he wrote that he hated his mom, with no explaination or exclaimation suggesting he was writing it in the heat of the moment. Deb was at first irritated that Ray had apologised to his mom for something she had done wrong but then she realised that, yeah, when you have all your doubts about being a good mother and noone is supporting you and your son is silent and then you read that he hates you in his diary, like its a fact, it really really hurts.

Makes me feel bad about when I had written somethings along those lines in my diaries. and yes, I have more than one. Granted, my handwriting is so bad it takes even ME a while to figure out what the hell I wrote, but I just hope that nobody EVER reads my diary. Especially my mother. Actually no, I mean NO BODY can ever read it. sigh.

okay, since I'm thoroughly screwed for tomorrow's tutorial, since I haven't DONE the reading, I should at least sleep NOW at 2 am so that MAYBE I will wake up early tmr.

SHINI

2010-01-29T21:21:00.002+08:00

I'm not the most sportiest person on the planet....okay I AM the least sportiest person on the planet. However I found out about these two things, that I found really cool.

In Berlin, there's this thing called Urban Golf. You basically take your golf clubs and your golf balls and that thingy you stick the ball on, and go all over the city and hit balls! Like anywhere! Even off roofs! its so cool! I mean I've never played golf before, but I'd totally play urban golf. Sadly Berlin's the only place where you can do it as far as i know. Sigh.

Anyway, I saw this ad the other day. There's this thing called Smartpools. They're basically the length of an average man, or slightly longer and like 1 metre wide or something and you can actually swim like you're in a lap pool within that small area. How? There's this machine thing that like moves the water or currents or something that it feels like you're moving forward. Cool huh?! Then if you don't need the machine thingy, you just turn it off and use it as a splash pool! So cool!

so yeah, that's really it.

love love
shini!

2010-01-27T01:17:00.002+08:00

I just read the most awful article ever on the net.

See I was reading this book, and it mentioned something about the Mini-sari and the furore it created in India when it was created. So I decided to check it out and see WHAT THE HELL IT WOULD LOOK LIKE, since I just couldn't imagine it and I came upon this ridiculous article arguing that women should wear saris all the time and it condemns the use of the salwar and jeans, separately or together. I wouldn't mind it so much but the way it was written, sounded so chauvanistic and disgusting that I couldn't BELIEVE that someone of this level could even EXIST in this time and age.

Personally I think that Saris are fabulous, though I'd never wear it because I think I'm too short for it to actually look GOOD on me? and it'll probably make me look shorter than ever, all that cloth. So yeah, but I think its still a wonderful representation of Indian culture but I don't think it is appropriate for work and everyday wear, like for moving around and going to the market even. See, the sari isn't the most secure of garments to wear, since its techinically just a blouse and a whole LOAD of cloth just wrapped around you, so really, it can quite easily fall off or unravel. its also easy for blunders to just occur. Plus, there's really nothing wrong with the salwar and jeans. Even the saris of the modern day, the kind with bikini tops and cholis and a sewn up and ready-made sari, its STILL a sari so I don't know what is that person's problem.

Anyway, I'll be going off now cuz I gotta wake up earlier tomorrow.

so, bye!
shini

Merchants of Bollywood!!!

2010-01-17T21:30:00.002+08:00

Yes, as you can see from my title, I have gone to see the musical and my verdict?

I LOVED IT!!!!!

Granted that I'm not as discerning as the journalist from Life! newspaper who ALWAYS is sent to cover anything related to Indian culture and is ALWAYS reviewing the hindi movies, HOWEVER, I'm still an audience member and I can still have SOME valid points, thought I do know that I use capital letters too much.

Anyway, let me start talking about the show. The dancers were perfect, with so much of energy and they were absolutely in sync, ALL THE TIME! The costumes were so colourful and even mimicked the original costumes from the movies. The dancing, my gosh! I LOVED the dance moves!! The were so complicated, more so than the ones in the movies, because naturally, the ability of the trained dancers is much higher than that of the Bollywood actors and actresses. The theme of the story is something that I've contemplated before myself, traditional versus modern dance styles, especially since my mother is always complaining about the "vulgur hip thrusts" in all the songs nowadays. I didn't realise till now that, actually the show's story, while it has nothing directly to do with me (I don't have a famous choreographer as a grandfather), but if you think about it, it sort of does. While I'm always saying that I'm a crap dancer, I can't deny that i AM a dancer. Its interesting cuz I've been learning classical for so long, and still learning(sort of), and yet, I'd love to learn the Bollywood style of dancing too!

What I loved especially about the show was that during the entire musical, the dancers on stage would be whooping and yelling and cheering while they danced and they always made it a point to tell the audience to clap along! It made it feel almost concert-like. At some point, 2 of the dancers came off the stage to dance with some of the audience members and I could see, at the front, the guy the dancer asked to stand up actually did start dancing with him! It was so cute and spontaneous and the audience member was so willing! I loved the fact that the audience itself was cheering and clapping so I felt that the performers were getting their just dues.
At the end of the show, the 4 main characters were signing autographs, and even though they had run out of programmes, I queued up (it wasn't a particularly long queue), and got all 4 of their autographs on the tickets. On the whole, The Merchants of Bollywood was an incredible experience and even though I had been looking forward to it for so long, it totally exceeded my expectations(sometimes, you wait so long for something to come and when it finally does, it falls a litle flat)!!!! I loved loved it and sigh, wishI could see it again!!

love love,
shini

shakes head Sigh.

2010-01-17T02:46:00.003+08:00

Hello hello children! Let's get down to business. I didn't actually read the commentary written by that journalist about the molestation incident during the New Year's Eve party at Sentosa, but from what I gathered from the respodents to that commentary, apparently a girl, dressed in a bikini, was molested by a group of men and it just so happened that onlookers took videos. I'm not 100% sure about the details, so I really don't know but I was quite interested by this situation.

First of all, I don't think anyone DESERVES to be molested, no matter WHAT she is wearing. I mean seriously. Its AT the beach, though yes, since it was a party, the girl should at least have worn a wrap, I mean it can actually get quite cold, or at least windy, and no matter what you can say about drunken men, at least have the sense to not MOLEST someone. Its different when its one guy doing it to one girl, and when a group did it to one girl. You're telling me there was no one else at the party wearing a bikini and dancing seductively? Do all of them deserve to be molested too? I mean come on! Those guys deserve all the punishment they get! As to the issue of the people taking a video. HELLO? did it not occur them to help the poor woman? I understand that one man cannot take on a group of men, but from what I gathered, there were a few people around. You're telling me that they couldn't help the girl? Did they honestly think the girl was HAVING FUN? Okay, i'm getting too worked up, cuz I don't know all the details. But if you think about it, if you see a girl being groped by a bunch of men, don't you think that something's wrong? Even if she was a hired dancer, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TOUCH THEM!!! They're not strippers you know. There's a difference! Sigh. I think I shall go and find out more, and vent later to someone.

2010-01-14T16:53:00.002+08:00

Don't you find it interesting that people call their respective other, their "boyfriend" or "girlfriend", but never "lover"? Why is that?

Is "lover"a bad word? Is it offensive to other people hearing the word? I suppose it DOES imply some sexual activity, and if you don't want disturbing thoughts appearing in your family's minds, you tend to stick with the safer 'boyfriend". Plus I think the word "lover" is quite a heavy term to place on someone. It speaks of your own feelings toward that individual, the EXTENT of your feelings too. Its probably why I've never heard any of my friends refer to their significant others as "lover". Maybe when we're all older, will I hear it being used. Cuz quite frankly, the term's more exciting and sexy right?

shini

George Carlin

2010-01-09T00:17:00.002+08:00

I know I said I wasn't going to say anything about religion but I found this guy's stuff which I found very true and funny, so whatever, here it is.

George Carlin everybody!

love love,
shini

P.S. I'm not against any religion, just wanna put it out there. I just enjoy different comedians' work.

2010-01-06T01:07:00.002+08:00

Not really much to say, just came across this and found it quite hilarious.well, maybe not hilarious, but relatively funny. don't know how to attach link so please just copy and paste if you can be bothered.

loves to all,
shini

http://entertainment.sg.msn.com/photos/photos.aspx?cp-documentid=3769119&page=1

Sonu Nigam LIVE IN CONCERT!!!

2010-01-03T03:14:00.003+08:00

WOW! what a show! Okay, some might say that oh it was small, or oh everyone was seated, but to ME, it was FAB-U-LOUS!!!! I absolutely loved it and think I've fallen in love with his voice. I'm not one to gush mind you, about a singer especially but boy is he a performer or what! The poor thing had some viral gastric something where your stomach is KILLING you, and a lower back thing, and he still put on a brilliant show! I had so so much fun, I am so GLAD that my mum bought the tickets for me! I have been to another concert before, but that was for FallOut Boy so I'm really not a fan of them. Was almost forced to go, but I did make the effort to learn the songs so I did have fun at that time. However its so different when you actually like the singer and you know the songs, because you have like, 10 times more fun! I was clapping loudly cheering, practically dancing in my seat! I'd have gone down to dance in the side, where there was some space where some people were dancing, but i KNOW that my sister wouldn't come with me and my mother surprisingly enough didn't look like she was gonna move so I just bounced in my seat. Luckily the people behind and infront of us had gone down to dance so I wasn't annoying anyone behind or infront of me.

And that whole thing where he showed us how a song can be made using like 5 words, which were Aloo, Muli, Gobi and Muttar Paneer(or smth like that) by the way, was incredibly cool! At least to me. It was brilliant how he could sing those words in the different styles, even according to different music director's preferenced. He got Himesh's one SPOT on I tell you! I was especially glad that he did Shukuran Allah and All Izz Well, cuz I LOVED those 2 songs. It was just a humongously fun show for me, and I was amazed at his stamina and ability to entertain and perform so well!!

Even the other aspects of the show was amazing! The female host person, who was from Spore apparently spoke extremely well, and the male host person was hilarious during the interval with his stand up; I especially enjoyed his impressions! And even though the audience wasn't particularly friendly toward the opening act, Gunjan(i think that's her name), I think she did a pretty good job, holding her head high and trying to engage the audience. Her voice, may have been a little sharp and high for some, was really not that bad and fairly versatile, enough anyway to do the Don song, Beedi, PCD's Jai Ho and Yeh Ishq Hai. I felt quite bad for her cuz the audience wasn't very nice to her but, what can u do if you're opening for Sonu Nigam to a Bollywood-celebrity-starved society that is Singapore(they NEVER come here, its like damn annoying la). OH and one more thing which I found quite cool and squealed "omg" like 10 times when it happened; ANIL KAPOOR SHOWED UP IN PERSON!!!!!! AMAZING RIGHT???
I was actually quite doubtful and cynical, assuming like he wouldn't appear and it really looked liked it, but then he did appear on stage and I could see him and everything and HEAR him, confirming that it WAS him! I know I went for Sonu Nigam, but it WAS a nice surprise you must admit. Of course when Sonu appeared for the 2nd half everyone went wild again of course, as did i.

All in all, a FUN-FILLED rocking(if i ever hear that word again, it'll be too soon i tell you) fabulous time at the Sonu Nigam Live in Concert show!!!

a happy shini,
shini

P.S. totally saw at least one person I knew, other than my relatives.

P.P.S. People may make fun of me cuz I LOVE bollywood so much that I actually go for the concerts, but I really don't care anymore:) I like being indian in this aspect.

2010-01-02T01:04:00.002+08:00

3 glasses of champagne, 1 of red wine and a faux mojito lThough I didn't manage to catch a picture of my dad giving my mum a kiss on the cheek, it was definitely captured on my mind's harddrive. I just hope I'm not jinxing it by talking about today.

Feeling a lot more happy and a little inebrited(I'M TOTALLY LEGAL),
SHINI

P.S. HAPPY NEW YEAR DARLINGS, hope its a great one for all of us cuz Lord knows we need a good year:)

2009-12-31T01:30:00.002+08:00

Apparently, according to someone, the mentality of a working woman and a homemaker is quite different. They obviously have different situations so then that influences their thinking and their priorities and how they view various issues in the world. I'm not being all sociological, but I'm just thinking and I think that nowadays, women are fortunate enough since they are allowed to work wherever they want to. However, its gone to a point where women have to be both working women, and come back home and be the perfect wives, cleaning and cooking and looking after children. I know this sounds like I'm complaining on behalf of all the women, but really, its true. And i'm not talking about my mother!

Its really quite sad you know and at the same time, its amazing cuz I just can't imagine myself to not be working when I graduate, and at the same time I don't plan on hiring a maid, in the future, whether I get married or not. Unless like, I can't handle the children of course.

Okay, I don't have my whole mind in this post so, i'm sorry. Got something else on my mind, and its not for this blog, a bit personal, so excuse me.

However I can't leave without doing a little rave about the newest Bollywood movie to hit our shores: 3 Idiots

IT IS BLOODY AMAZING!!!!! Seriously, I don't have the ability to express how brilliant this movie is, but I'm gonna give it a little try. Its hilarious and yet I found myself crying quite a few times in the movie. Its got some real truths, truths that aren't like superficial, but just are real and apply to ALL of us, not just the students in universities. The acting is superb and its just, really really REALLY good. I completely agree that its the best movie of the year and its a a fabulous to end this year with, at least for me. Anyway, going off, so good bye lovies and my next post will probably in the new year so SEE YA!!

love love
shini

Musings of 2009

2009-12-28T13:06:00.002+08:00

A little late in saying this, but MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

Anyway, the new year's coming up and well, this time of the year always makes us look back at the past year and wonder about the new year.

This year, 2009 has been an interesting one I think for me. Got my results, got into NUS, got a job(sort of), had A LOT of vacation time, started school, met new people, and I even manage to perform! Quite truthfully, earlier on in the year like during Arts Camp of even when I was lazing around the house, I was trying to imagine what the end of the year would be like. Like how it would be like to be a freshman who would have FINISHED her 1st semester. That just really overwhelmed me and I just couldn't imagine it; couldn't imagine what I'd be like, if I might have changed. Now, however,because Time never waits for anyone, I'm already here, ont eh 28th of December, waiting for the new year to start.Its really amazing actually.

You know how people say that at this time of the year, the old Year is an old man, and we're waiting for the new Year, to be literally "born"? That ALWAYS made sense to me.

Something else we do before the new year starts is to make new year resolutions. Or at least, decide on what we want to achieve in the new year. Whether or not we DO achieve them is another matter, for next year's end-of-year musings.

What do I want to achieve next year?
I havent' really thought much about it actually; been trying to enjoy the last few days of 2009, seeing as how 2008 was HELL for me.
I suppose this could be my tentative list:
1. obtain at LEAST 4.0 CAP for next sem, and maintain or improve that for 3rd sem
2.either find a job or do an internship during the 3 months break
3. take part in more sch activities?
4. OBVIOUSLY be fitter and exercise MORE, more regularly anyway
5. BE HAPPIER. -I know this sounds really strange but a lot of the time this year, i've been quite sad, or at least unhappy and we shoudl always be TRYING to be happy right?

This isn't the most perfect list and chances are, I might not fulfill it completely. Of course I WILL try my very best to fulfill it. I really DO hope I manage this though.

Anyway, this isn't set in stone or anything and it will probably change later on. Plus there are some other private goals I may want to achieve which I'm NOT going to put up here. so, anyway, I'll be going now.

love love
shini

2009-12-22T12:36:00.002+08:00

I am supremely average.

really.

3.20

4B- and 1B+

Yes I could have worked harder. MOST DEFINITELY. but not even 1A? wow my soci essays must have REALLY sucked.

oh god.

Well, try harder next sem. I AM going to get at least 4.0. DON'T CARE. I just gotta remind myself.

urgh. going shopping. bye

2009-12-17T00:39:00.002+08:00

I wonder if my parents have given any thought as to who I should marry. Assuming that they think I should marry at all of course, because we can all say we're "colour-blind", and all that, but really, MOST of us aren't. I mean not int he true sense of the phrase. At the very least, You'd notice or like guess that person's race, or sub-group they're from, since we ALL belong to some group right? You'd never actually make snide or demeaning comments about any particular race, but on the other hand, you can't actually say that you are "colour-blind".

So in this case, its with regard to my future partner, whether my parents are looking for a specific person, in terms of well, to put it somewhat crudely, race. I'd actually be fine with anything, so long as noone imposes anything on me and I would try my very best not to impose anything on anyone. I'd really like to get into the head of my parents, and see their opinion on this matter cuz god know that they will absolutely NOT tell me unless inebrited(seriously, it works, try it on your parents). Anyway, I don't know why I'm wondering about this now, its at least 6 years more till its absolutely NECESSARY that I think about this and what's more, my parents didn't even think I'd make it to university, much less they're old school, so I DON'T think that MY future marriage is anywhere in their minds. Okay, Sister is asking for massage, which I can't refuse since I refused to go shopping with them today, and they did ALL the xmas shopping today, so I feel guilty about avoiding the gruntwork so I must go off now. ciao my lovelie!

shini

books vs shoes

2009-12-16T00:47:00.002+08:00

Went to the Bookfest today at Suntec and bought like 8 books and my FAVOURITE pens in the entire world so at the end of the night, I was in the BEST mood.

See buying a book makes me more happy than buying anything else. Whenever I go shopping, I like to look at shoes, or jewellery with clothes the last on the list. However even shoes can't compare to books. Seriously. I LOVE shopping for books and it makes me the MOST happy and so i was in a brilliant mood, and I mean absolutely glowing! Cuz i mean earrings or like shoes, yeah, they're new and pretty and everything, but with shoes, they never are completely comfortable for some reason with me and there are only so many new designs of earrings one can have. But a BOOK, is almost always unique in some way and it brings me to another place, sometimes to the point that I want to actually visit the place. Reading does that to me, at least fiction does that. Even non-fiction, like my texts and coursepacks now, are interesting to me though of course I'd much prefer to read what I like. Sigh. *floats happily away to read*

love love
shini!

new realisations

2009-12-15T00:20:00.002+08:00

Some things occurred to me today, and unfortunately I didn't have a pen on me so its a miracle that I can even remember them now so bear with me if it all sounds a little strange.

This year I've realised 2 things that I wasn't positive about in the past. Number 1 is that I actually don't like noodles very much. I've always wondered why I could never finish like a whole bowl of noodles but I definitely could finish a plate of chicken rice. Even pasta, I have to be in the MOOD for it, but baked rice is no problem. So I've realised that I'm a rice person, like a REAL rice person. Of course I've been reducing my rice intake and portions over the months and years la. I've also realised that I don't really like breads that much. I mean, I like it better than noodles of course, and its a must for breakfast, but I'm not like my mum and sister. I can't eat plain bread, without anything. I just can't. It has to have at LEAST butter, if not cheese. My sister and mother on the other hand, can totally whack plain buns and whatnot. However I do know that I really really REALLY like potatoes. really really. In almost all forms. I just don't like MASHED POTATO. cuz its too mushy for my liking. Anyway, enough about my favourite carbs, I'm not supposed to be talking or even thinking about them at this point.

Second thing I want mention is that I've always thought that I LOVED LOVED the beach. If you asked me, mountain-side or beach-resort holiday, I'd take beach EVER SINGLE TIME. Recently though I've found out that I really only like the beach in the day, when I can see the sea. I like actually being able to see the colour of the sea and the blackness of the sea and sky just depresses me. Even the ship lights don't cheer me up, cuz I think that they're having a party on the ship and I'm not invited. I also don't quite like it when like the sky's grey or FULL of white clouds, so the sea just looks drab and grey. So nowadays whenever like my mother wants to go to the beach, I will insist that we go in the daytime, so that I can at least see the blue (singapore's waters ARE BLUE so stop saying that they aren't) waters, before it gets all black.

This made me realise that actually, I'm a day person. I've always thought I was a night person. Like I could stay up till the wee hours no problem and I still can. However, I like the day better. I like colours, like on flowers and plants and the blue sky and the white clouds(or grey clouds) and just colours of everything. At night though, I can't see any colour so, its kind of well sad. And the day is a LOT more cheerful and hopeful cuz if you like haven't done something, YOU STILL HAVE TIME. But if its nighttime already, then YOU'RE OUT OF TIME. So I'm technically a day person, who can't wake up in the mornings, but loves the colour and BOTH the sunrise and sunsets.

I actually had something else to write about, but I can't remember the whole thought process of it and my sister's breathing down my neck to CONTINUE using the laptop, so I think I shall log off now.
ta my lovelies!

shini

2009-12-11T00:52:00.002+08:00

Would you be sad if I died? Would it make a difference in your life?

How about something less morbid: Would you be sad if I went away to another country forever? Would that make a difference?

I'm not trying to get attention or be morbid or deviant or anything. I'm not trying to send any suicidal message out there in cyberspace. I'm just trying to make a point that for some people out there, they believe that if they disappeared or worse, died, it wouldn't matter to anyone. The believe that the world would be a better place if they didn't exist. They live a somewhat miserable existence, being depressed and upset and never happy or joyful. These people need help, they need someone to tell them that yes, if they were to die, or to disappear, I would miss you. I know that I don't say it to people, especially those who matter the most but I really love you very much and I will be very upset if ANYTHING happened to you. I'd miss you and I'd miss talking to you. I'd miss you being around for me to tell things to you and for you to tell me things. My family and friends, this is for you.

A chicken way of saying I care, but its a start right?

much love
shini

Suicide

2009-12-08T13:58:00.002+08:00

My dad was watching this program today, I have NO idea how he finds these programmes, but yeah, anyway, and I happened to be in the dining area, eating my special K. So I was listening to it, and they were talking about the one of the supposed deadly sins, sloth. Something about how it started out as really BEING a sin, but over time, and with the opinons of different people along the way, it became not so much as a moral thing, but as a physical ailment. Some called it melancholy and others depression.

Suicide was apparently connected to sloth and they also talked about how suicide was the ultimate sin. Now, suicide is considered a sin, not only Christianity but other religions as well, though I don't know the specifics. I was pondering about this little bit of fact I just heard about and well, I don't quite think that suicide is the ULTIMATE sin.

Yes I do agree that suicide is still the killing of a life, albeit it is yours. And I do think that life should be treasured not wasted over things that can be solved. Each life is important, and everyone is unique, so when someone dies, something unique and special is being removed from the world. So yeah, I can understand why people would believe that suicide is the ultimate sin.

Suicide often is the easier option, because well death, compared to what you may have to deal with in life seems like solace. For example, with euthanasia, where relatives have to decide whether or not to pull the plug, some relatives will argue that instead of drawing out the patient's life, being pumped full of drugs, that the patient can barely move or even recognise his or her loved ones, it is better to let them sleep, forever. Of course this is a different situation, but you know what I mean. Think about it, if your life is so full of drudgery, and depression and just plain bad things and you're being tortured on a regular basis, either mentally, emotionally or physically, then death is looking pretty good at the moment. Of course I can also see that suicide does seem like the cowardly thing to do. Instead of facing your problems and whatever mess you might have created, you're running away, to where noone can find you, supposedly leaving behind the problems. Unfortunately, often you're also leaving behind the problems for other people to solve, which is extremely unfair and it is maybe from this point of view that suicide is bad, because the person committing suicide is running away from the problems and is being selfish and dumping his or her problems onto another person, a loved one.

However I do also think that while its seen as a cowardly thing to do, I also think to actually take your life, is a hard thing to do. In the movies and all that they make it seem that its easy to kill yourself. There are numerous ways to do it. You could shoot yourself, though you'd have to find a gun first and well, that's quite hard to do in Singapore. You could slit your wrists, but people never do it right and just end up passing out with a lot of blood around them and not actually dying. Hanging is another option, and with Singapore's flats mostly having ceiling fans, its actually pretty easy. Things like suffocating yourself, is hard, cuz you gotta do it yourself; you have to actually bring yourself to do it. In this case, pulling the trigger and slicing your jugular open (apparently is a more effective way of doing it, but of course I don't condone it and I don't actually know) is extremely difficult to do cuz you have to make yourself do it.

People also think that overdosing on pills is the easiest way of killing yourself, but you see, its not 100% positive, as in, it would take time and people can find you and pump your stomach, and save you. Similarly, jumping off buildings, is also not a surefire way of suicide, cuz you've heard of people who jump off buildings and somehow still live, but they're 100 times worse off than before because they've got mega huge hospital bills, plenty of pain and a FAILED SUICIDE ATTEMPT, which means they'll be watched 24/7. So you see my point here? it does take some courage, in a way, to kill yourself.

Anyway, I would like to clarify here that I don't condone suicide, not do I want to commit suicide. I just have these opinions that I want to air on my blog. That's all.

Well, since I took so long to write this post, I've kinda lost my thread so I'll end this now.

shini

2009-12-07T20:24:00.002+08:00

Hello hello peoples!!! been a few days since I've blogged. And its so strange but my cousin who also has a blog, INSISTS on asking, "what's shini wondering now?", making me remember that I haven't blogged in a while.

Anyway, tomorrow, I'm gonna have a new experience. Nothing major, don't worry. I'm gonna watch 2 movies by myself! or at least one movie by myself, since sister dear wants to watch de dhana dhan, WITH me. Well, we'll see. My point being that, well, I believe in experiences. Of course some things are better off NOT experienced, but, overall, I think they're good. My sister says that i CANNOT watch movies alone, but well, sometimes, if you really wanna, there's no harm, especially if you can't get a companion to go with you. Plus, I think I'm getting over the whole "all by myself" thing. so we'll see what happens.

I really should be figuring out the module preference exercise thing, but the stupid timetable builder is not working, which means I gotta work everything out manually. Which is why instead of doing that, i'm watching old episodes of Charmed.ahh well, i'll do it eventually

love
shini

2009-12-02T02:15:00.003+08:00

hey hey children!!

Okay better write down this thought before it flies out. See on my mother's side, the side that I'm closer to, I have 8 cousins, including the ones living in the US (3). And one would naturally expect us all to get married according to age, and it just so happens that quite thankfully, none of us are like equal in age (though me and my other cousin are like technically 6 months apart, but he's still born in 1991 and I'm born in 1990 so whatever). So between the eldest of us and the youngest, there is a 20 year gap. So far, my first oldest 3 cousins have been married, 2 already have children. Of course the kids like toddlers la but still. Now logically, of apparently, for every important function like kid's birth or wedding, our whole family plus our other parent's sides are invited. This is like before anyone got married. That ALREADY was a large group. NOW, in-laws are also added to the group of "must invite". So I was wondering right, since the majority of us live in spore, by the time my youngest cousin gets married, there will be A LOT of people that "must be invited". Cuz everybody's in-laws gotta be invited too!!! Just thinking about it is making my head spin. I think my auntie better start saving up now itself man. Oh wait, university comes first. ahh well, i think my youngest cousin, should saving now itself:)

okay, that's it.

Oh also, I'm getting hooked into the show called "glee" specially since my OTHER favs are like not being uploaded. Which reminds me, better go check:)

ciao!

love
shini

Mule

2009-11-26T15:16:00.002+08:00

Mama told me something interesting. Apparently she breastfed me for only 3 months, like with the breast. Then I think she needed to switch over, to go back to work, so when she did, she expressed the milk into a bottle right? So she wanted to feed me with the bottle. GUESS WHAT?

I absolutely refused to drink from it! Apparently I was so angry that she switched, I think I liked the mother-daughter time when she breastfed me or something, that I refused to drink any milk the WHOLE DAY! Mind you, I was like 4 months old or something. I think I just kept crying and refusing the milk. My mother said she'll never forget that day, cuz she was so stressed cuz for small baby, milk is fed every 4 hours and like whole day I didn't drink anything. Stubborn as a mule she said. HOWEVER, I just said that at that age, without any environmental factors, the stubborness is just the genes so she has herself and papa to blame. Which is true what!She knows herself that she is stubborn so yea. i truly never knew about that story.

anyway, I felt like putting that up. I'm feeling kinda tired, but shall persevere and go read.
ta!

love love
shini

2009-11-24T18:57:00.002+08:00

Hello my lovelies!!

As you can tell, I'm in an okay-ish sort of mood right now. Well at least I'm not depressed. I'm just tired and well, kinda happy I suppose. anyway, people are all buzzing about Adam Lambert's supposed jaw-dropping performance at the American Music Awards, which I nicely missed cuz I just didn't know about it. Anyway, to see what the big problem was, I decided to youtube the performance (which reminds me, I gotta see the whole thierry henry thing as well) and quite frankly I don't see what the problem was.

HE WAS PUTTING ON A SHOW PEOPLE!!!!

Gosh, you'd think Americans have never seen a kiss between 2 guys before. And hello? Anyone remember the smooch between the 2 mega starts Madonna and Britney? They didn't give THOSE two as much flak as they are giving Adam. Why cuz they're women? Such bull! *rolls eyes*
And personally, I think the Brit-Madge kiss was a little strange, cuz I mean not to be ageist or anything but, Madonna looked to old to be kissing Britney like that ON STAGE. But whatever, that was over and done with. At least Adam's kiss went with the theme of the whole thing. You know, there was flow. Although I do have a complaint about the performance. I did like the song, the beat was good, but i think he screamed it too much near the end. Overall, though I'm still a fan and maybe I will go and buy his album after all!

Oh! I was looking at Penny's Daybook today and they had done this interview with this designer? So I checked out her website and TOTALLY FELL IN LOVE WITH HER DESIGNS. I'm serious. I saw at least 10 things or MORE that I wanted to buy immediately. Thankfully she's based in spore (sporean after all) and there's the possibility of me buying her stuff. UNFORTUNATELY, I am 100% broke. Like completely absolutely. At such an inconvienent time too. See I really wanna watch Kurbaan (movie), The Beauty and the Beast (theatre) and I desperately need to buy some black flats as my old pair are BEYOND repair. And now, on top of everything, I have discovered a website that sells my favourite type of accessories, in new designs that I just adore. I love shopping for accessories, but I hate buying clothes. Which is why my wardrobe is kinda boring. Plus, with my figure,(not size cuz the word has a slightly negative connotation, to me anyway), a number of styles are completely OUT for me.

So do check the website out, its http://www.jeaninegabrielle.com/ and trust me, you'll love it too.

Another thing. In dec, I've decided to try out the Special K thing where u eat Special K for 2 meals and you'll supposedly go down a jean size in like a week. I don't believe the "dropping a jean size in a week" part, cuz thats just not possible, especially for me, but I do think that if you eat flakes twice a day, deny yourself carbs and all the junk food you love, SOME weight has to go off. Problem is thaaaaat, I'll be going out a lot in dec. So how to maintain? Plus, I'm not sure i should gym as ferociously as I had initially planned (before the Special K plan), cuz I might pass out on the gym floor from lack of energy. Well, we'll see. The problem with wanting and TRYING to lose weight, is that I think I'll be seriously unhappy most of the time, cuz dieting is like my mortal enemy. The treadmill looks like 10 times friendlier.

You know how sometimes, you find it hard to tell certain people your weight, if it comes up? Personally, I never ask, cuz I wouldn't like to be asked by anyone except the members of the tightest circle. So when someone else asks, depending on the person, I'll either say, no, or I'll just give the answer and change the topic. Its harder when the other person is so......pro-fitness and frank about YOUR appearance (i.e. shini you're fat and need to lose weight.-well not in the same way la, but you get the idea) On the other hand, since I don't really know ALL the people who read my blog, and those I do know, I'm comfortable enough with to confess my weight, I'm totally fine with typing my latest knowledge about my weight online. so here goes.....51kg.

Wow. that was actually hard to type. Bear in mind also that I'm only 1.48m so, technically i'm kinda overweight. That's why I look the way I do I suppose. I plan to lost AT least 5KG, if not 6 and go down to 45kg, which is the heaviest I should be EVER. The thing is, I don't think the 5kg, will make much of a difference, visually I mean. Of course if I lose like 10kg, then yeah la, you'll see some weight loss. But. I think its hard for me to lose weight, cuz dieting makes me sad and there's only so much exercise can do without dieting.

Okay, this is just depressing me and I've already wasted enough time today. I'm going to listen to the webcast. Damn, I can just HEAR the chips calling me. Urgh. thank god for exams. gives me an excuse, note an excuse not reason, to delay my get-fit attempt.

feeling depressed and hungry,
shini

P.S. I'll try not to listen.

Cake vs Cookie, Brownies, Biscuits

2009-11-22T15:19:00.002+08:00

The thing about baking cakes, is that you can't taste-test them. Not really anyway. If you're making it for tea, to serve it to other people, then after you bake it, you can't really taste-test it, in case something went wrong and it doesn't taste good. You just gotta serve it and hope for the best. Which is why I think, in the world of baking, baking a cake is the ULTIMATE challenge for me. So far I can bake ONE type of cookie and ONE type of biscuit, as di says, one sweet and one savoury should be enough for me. And technically, it is. However, its not very impressive when you tell other people you see. So at some point, I gotta be able to bake other things on my own, like brownies and eventually CAKES.

I do know though, that if I were going to bring something for tea, I'd NEVER bring cake. Cuz well, with my baking skills, you can never be sure that the cake turned out well, and its not nice to impose bad or at least not good cakes on other people, even if they're family.

NOTE: this is not a commentary on any actual event happening. Just an observation.

shini

2009-11-20T03:55:00.002+08:00

In case you're wondering, I'm still in A VERY BAD MOOD. cried and everything. However, I wanna just mention something.

I'll say one thing about my parents. Though they can really really piss me off, like ALL the time and of course vice versa, I can imagine that they must have really taken good care of me and sister when we were younger. I mean of course they still do, but a symptom of the past is still carried forth till today.

No matter what time it is, if either one of us enter their room while they're both sleeping, you can bet that at least one if not both of them will wake up to ask what's wrong, or what do you need. Even just now when I wanted to charge my phone with my mum's charger which was plugged in very tightly in her room. Before I could even REACH the charger, she already asked, what are you looking for. And not even in an irritated way. And I think this is a symptom of when we were younger and woke up in the middle of the night. It helps that they're both teachers and HAVE to wake up super early.

I do remember though, one night that my sister woke up from the storm going on outside, or she had a really bad nightmare, and she wasn't like 7 or 8 mind you. That time we hadn't joined our beds together and there was the HUGE gap of like 4 parquet squares between our beds. She was so affected that she actually wanted to climb into bed with me. I was half asleep myself, so I whatever. But even though the other family member may not be awake enough to comfort you properly, just being close helps i think. Then again, you'd have to ask my sister.

Even though I'm regularly irritated with my family, and STILL are as of this moment, I do love them and treasure them very much and would die if anything happened to them.
On that note, i'm going to go off to cry in peace.

shini

2009-11-18T03:36:00.002+08:00

Sociology is making me depressed. Really depressed. Especially when no solutions are offered. Somthing else is making me feel sad too, except I can't or more appropriately WON'T discuss(complain) about it here. And I'm too lazy to write about it in my diary. Writing makes me tired. It doesn't help that the song playing now is very sad (Tu Jaane Na). And I didn't have a proper meal today, yet my tummy isn't or hasn't complained. Amazing huh?

If my sister takes any more money from me, I will be so so completely broke and supremely unhappy I'll probably kill her. Seriously. At the rate she's going, she has to give me her pocket money for the next 3 months at least. And she gets like $30 a week or at least she's supposed to. Dad doesn't give regular monies when we don't go to sch regularly, like during the hols. Plus he's pissed at her now so he said she's not getting any monies. So guess who's she going to be sponging off now? And urgh, an awful thought just occurred to me: she'll get thinner from having no monies to eat a lot and hence look even BETTER than she already does next to me.

In case you haven't realised yet, this is going to be a wallow-in-self-pity post. so get out if the low self-esteem is making you gag. I know I would if I weren't in such a FOUL mood right now.
My lack of knowledge and my inability to withhold any information I read, is pissing me off further, along with my wonderfully screwed up biological clock. I don't know what I'll do if I'm late for my exams. Probably cry my eyes out I suppose. Well its NOT going to happen. I JUST GOTTA SWITCH THE CLOCK BACK somehow. I could attempt to wake up without 8 hours of sleep tmr I suppose and see if my theory works or not.

Urgh. Okay my OWN self-pity and low self-esteem is annoying even me so i'm ending this post and to whoever is reading this blog, forgive me for this drivel.

shini

Feminist?

2009-11-17T18:03:00.002+08:00

I happened to be talking to this guy some time ago, and I happened to be telling him about how I'd run my life in the future.

For example, like I AM NOT doing my future husband's laundry(should i even get married). And how I'd learn cooking, not to cook FOR my husband, but cuz its a good skill to have and I'd learn dishes that I like to eat, not to be a perfect wife and daughter-in-law. I probably won't be the perfect daughter-in-law cuz i'm not going to be a housemat for the husband. None of the I do the housework and cooking AND go to work. If you're gonna live in the house, you gotta do your share too. I told all this to him and well, he was surprised.

Thinking about all this now, I still believe in what I said. However, I am wondering if I sound like a feminist or not. I mean there's nothing wrong with being feminist but I don't want to be labelled. Plus I've also heard that guys are scared of dominating females. And I'm actually a shy girl you know so I don't want to send of the wrong impression. But I can't pretend I'm one person, when I'm another.

Sigh. I think marriage is something that's waaayyyy in the future. And its ridiculous to think about it now. But still! Ah, never mind. Anyway i'll be back probably to off load some other thoughts that were stimulated by socio. Which is what i'm supposed to be studying. I'm on Family, in case you're wondering.

love!
shini

2009-11-15T02:39:00.002+08:00

i feel sick. maybe its my body acknowledging my procrastination regarding my exams in like A WEEK. omg. i think vomit just came up. or that other thing, whatever its called. *shudders*

slept WAAAAAYYYYY too much today, so i'm wide awake at nearly 3 in the morning. urgh. and i've only done till phonology for english. sigh. i am BEYOND screwed you know that?BEYOND. i can say bye bye to my As and Bs.

sob sob. i'm going off now.

bleaugh.

shini

2009-11-14T01:26:00.002+08:00

I'd like to add something else on to the post below. If you watch the first video, and listen to the judges' commentary, you'll notice that the last judge, Mia Michaels who's this phenomenal contemporary choreographer by the way, says that she loves it when you see the bollywood dances being performed with like hundreds of people behind all in sync. I find her comment very very refreshing. People are always making fun of that element in bollywood cinema, that out of nowhere 50 dancers pop up and all start dancing the exact steps and singing with their constumes in place. I've always loved that aspect. See what people don't realise is that all those scenes right, are supposedly called "dream sequences" that are happening in the mind of either the hero, the heroine or both. I figured that usually, if the hero is singing and the his so-called love is silent during the song-dance and is just smiling lovingly, he is in love with her in real life but hasn't told her. And vice versa. If BOTH are singing, then they're either on honeymoon, or in some magical place.

Anyway, I just thought it was interesting that she, a western choreographer actually thinks that the whole group dancing in sync thing is amazing. made me happy:)

anyway, i'm basically screwed for my exams. I don't even seem stressed about it, probably cuz the lecturers and tutors seem to think its not that a big deal. BUT IT IS!!! urgh
dead dead dead dead dead very much DEAD.

a dead and sad shini says bye.

so you think you can dance 4

2009-11-11T17:38:00.003+08:00

I love watching the show So You Think You Can Dance and I'm currently waaaayyyy behind, only o Season 4. However that doesn't matter cuz I'm just LOVING the season!!! The dancers are SO good and so freaking GOOD-LOOKING i swear. Anyway, I found these 2 videos that I just gotta point out. One is an actual competing piece, done by the couple who's performances have been just brilliant every time I see them: Katey and Joshua.Lovely couple and just so good. They did something that was a first on the show: A BOLLYWOOD DANCE. I personally hated the song, but, they did it masterfully well. Check it out.

Also, this was like apparently at the END of the whole season. The judge, who I'm assuming's like 50, actually performing and it was all I could do to concentrate on her dance cuz I was just staring at her LEGS! I'm pretty sure that the performance was her dream coming true cuz she was dancing with the most manly constestant that had been on the show, Dimitri so yeah but wow. She's just fantastic. Who knew those legs were under that table all this time! Enjoy!

love love
shini

Sad sad sad

2009-11-09T22:12:00.002+08:00

Okay first of all, I'ms ure you've noticed that I haven't put up a picture of my lovely biscuits. I'm lazy. so yeah.

Anyway, have you ever wondered, assuming you've watched some Bollywood movies, how is it that the characters can fall in love SO FAST? And its not just the Hindi movies, but the Tamil ones too. I mean of course in a movie, months can pass, in a matter of minutes, but still. There ARE plots where 2 characters fall in love SO fast. I just realised how that's so amazing! I mean I personally have never felt that way about anyone (never had the chance), but, I would imagine that it would occur over some time. *shrugs* Makes you wish that the movie world were possible. The world of imagination where the awful reality is non-existant.

Also, have you had like any particular song that can make you sad, almost within a minute of hearing it? For me, since Hindi songs are my favourite, well most of them anyway, there are some Hindi songs that just hit me with sadness.

Jaoon Kahan-Billu Barber
Dhule Ka Sehra-Dhadkan
and most recently,
Tu Jaane Na-Ajab Prem Ki Gazab Kahani.

The last one, is the most potent. I swear. I mean love problems are like the most cliched and talked about in the world of Bollywood, but for some reason, this song just hits me so so hard the second I hear the singing. Its about the girl not knowing the guy's love. I'm not explaining it properly but EVERYTIME I hear it, I just feel sad.

Since misery loves company, I'll put it here for you guys.

Love love
shini

p.s. excuse the visuals, just listen

too much don't ya think?

2009-11-09T02:55:00.002+08:00

A lot of people think talking about Hollywood and Bollywood is extremely shallow. Like people wouldn't be caught dead discussing the lives of the actors and actresses in these industries. I on the other hand, don't think so. Of course I do understand why people think its shallow. I mean technically, these people that we discuss, don't even know WE exist and also, their life is THEIR life. WE have no right discussing it because its got NOTHING to do with us. And its shallow because well, they're JUST actors. The don't actually DO anything that important you know?Not like doctors or engineers or even lawyers. And yet, they're paid SO much, just to "play pretend".

The above piece in red, is basically what intellectuals or wannabes anyway would say when people like me say "what's wrong about discussing the lives of these actors in Hollywood and Bollywood?". You THINK that you're making me feel stupid when I don't join you with your spirited discussions about the economic situation of the world, the APEC summit, the various situations around the world regarding yet another country not getting along with some other country and etc. What you don't realise is that actually, just because I don't join in with your dicussions, doesn't mean I'm not aware. I agree that yes, I'm probably not as intellectual as you are; that my interests aren't as high-brow as yours are. That doesn't make me DUMB. I DO have interest in world affairs. The fact that I'm in the arts faculty should already give you a hint. You can't be in the arts fac and not be interested in world affairs. I mean I had even planned on majoring in Political science. I just either haven't come up to date on the various PROBLEMS of the world or I jsut choose to focus on the more frivolous things in life because life is stressful enough as it is for me to try and solve the world's issues by arguing with YOU about them.

So when I mention something about the Bollywood industry, some GOSSIP, don't dismiss me in your head as me being fluffy and frivolous. Everything has its function in the world, INCLUDING things like ridiculous Bollywood flims, and chick flicks/lit. Worse still, you dismiss me in you head as being silly, but in conversation, you still smile and try and engage me in another world affair. I might be showing my age when I start blabbering about some actor doing something, but at least I HAVE an interest in SOMETHING that other people can relate to. Cuz sometimes you gotta have neutral conversation topics lying your brain, like the ChrisBrown/Rihanna story cuz not everyone is going to be like me(someone who tries to follow your conversation and provide appropriate comments), and soon people will stop trying to talk to you cuz it just requires too many brain cells.

You KNOW what I mean.

Anyway, now that I've gotten THAT off my chest, I'd just like to mention something that I noticed. For some reason, I've been seeing a lot of Bollywood movie stars on the small screen. DOING ADVERTISEMENTS. Yes. Its some trend I think that's going round. Which I personally do not approve of. Why you ask? Well, it takes away jobs for actors out there who DO need the money, unlike the Bollywood stars. Let me name the ones I've noted.
Anusha Sharma(the most recent I've noticed)
Katrina Kaif
Rani Mukherjee
Kajol
Deepika Padukone
Shah Rukh Khan
Aamir Khan
Vidya Balan
Hrithik Roshan
and that Aladin girl(I don't know her name cuz I haven't watched the movie yet and she's NEW)

Now don't you think that's odd? I mean they appear ALL the time. And the advertisements arne't even anything special, except for the appearence of the stars(with the exception of Hrithink Roshan's one of course) Cuz normally, the adverts in the Hindi channels are exceptionally entertaining as I've mentioned, but now they've dropped their quality, just because they've got some star?
*shakes head* Terrible. No excuse. It should actually be even more entertaining, cuz they're supposedly better actors, hence able to do more complex acting. Unless you're telling me there's a derth of actors in India? Which is just such a ridiculous concept. SO yeah. anyway, that's all I really wanted to say. So ciao!

love love
shini

A first

2009-11-08T01:18:00.002+08:00

HEY HEY HEY!!! Guess what I did TODAY???

A clue: it is FIRST for me. Not a very good clue I suppose cuz I haven't had a lot of firsts.

Fine, I tell you.

I BAKED ALL BY MYSELF!!!!

I have baked before, like chocolate chip cookies for valentine's day in j2 i think? some people might remember. thought probably not. anyway, it doesn't count, cuz Di was still in the kitchen, baking with me and she also helped me. THIS time, I was alone in the kitchen and I DID IT. I mean, okay, luckily my mother came home in time to tell me when to take out the biscuits, but hello? baby steps kay, baby steps. I will post a picture of my wonderful achievement tmr.

Most people are probably wondering, what's the big deal about me baking? That obviously means that YOU don't talk or listen to me enough.

I am not good with hot items. I'd rather not go NEAR a stove or an OVEN, though an oven is less intimidating than the damn stove. If I wanted, I could try and psycho-analyse this fear.

I would say that BOTH my parents, are fabulous cooks. My mother was brilliant first, then she taught my dad. He found that HE had a knack for it and made it his hobby. It helped that people constantly praised him for his wonderful cooking and its sort of a novelty that the dad cooks in the house, and the mum doesn't right? Especially in an Indian household. So naturally, us kids are sucked into the kitchen quite often. Made to chop veggies, stir curries or whatever, flip stuff. That sort of thing. Before the maid left, we didn't enter the kitchen very often. After she left, I was always there, washing up.
That was my main job see, washing the dishes. Di had to dry and put them away. The thing is, how did the fear or more like aversion to the stove and oven come about? Maybe its because I felt and still feel that my dad had very high standards for food. Both my parents have high standards for food. Also, maybe the heat of the stove and the noise, makes me extra stressed, cuz anything can go wrong and I JUST don't like the idea of wasting food because it tastes bad. I dread the day when I have to learn cooking from my dad. It would just make me hate cooking all the more. My mum's a better teacher in cooking, or baking which is her first love. Which is probably why I take to baking better than cooking. Its more of an exact science. Which makes me less stressed. Its like oven=mum, stove=dad. Ya know?

As it is, I don't like hot things, as I've said before, and both are very very hot. But of the two, If I had to choose, I'd take the oven. Not as unpredictable. I know I've GOT to learn some cooking eventually. Like basic Indian, and the dishes that I like. I mean have you ever heard of an indian girl who couldn't cook? Of course, i hope I wouldn't HAVE to cook and just make my dear future husband cook(should he exist), but one must assure the future mother-in-law that her dearest son doesn't STARVE, though the fact that he's perfectly welcome to cooking for himself would never cross her mind la. At least I can already clean the house, which is good cuz I'm NOT getting a maid. This post seems to be going in another direction, which is not my intention. This other direction shall be explored another day.

Anyway, going back to my original spiel, I WILL learn how to cook. But slowly. This is already an achievement in itself right?

love love!
shini

2009-11-06T00:49:00.001+08:00

I got this e-mail, a description of various zodiacs, specifically for women, withe the What's Your Rashee theme. This was Scorpio. As in me. So, tell me if you think anything's true. Though personally, the whole "house being spic and span" and the "great food and coffee" is waaaaaaayyyy off mark.

Scorpio Woman(24th October to 22nd November)

The beauty of a Scorpio woman is exceptional, mysterious and totally magnetic. She knows that and is proud of herself. She will control her wish to dominate and will let a man lead in a relationship, atleast during courtship. She knows how to hypnotize a man and gets successful, more often than not. Don't expect a Scorpio female to rush into your arms in front of a thousand people and shout her feelings at the top of her voice. Instead, she will come close to you, glance at you in a sensual way and whisper the most romantic words in a seductive tone.

If you are not sincere with your feelings, don't even try to get close to a Scorpio girl. With those beautiful, penetrating eyes of hers, she can read exactly what is on your mind. She can easily make out your real intentions, so Don't Flirt. It will amount to insulting her and I assure you, insulting her is not at all good for your health. Even when her tone is soothing, her disposition kind and her smile generous, she can be planning the most powerful retaliation. When a Scorpio woman is insulted or gets hurt, her fury knows no bounds.

Then, she can become the most hard-hearted and most sarcastic person on this earth. If she loves with fierce devotion, she hates with devastating malice. If you are really in love with her, then you need to know more about her. She has a very hypnotic gaze and the moment her eyes meet your, you will go tumbling down in her deep passion. Being noticed by a Scorpio female definitely gives a boost to a man's ego. She needs a man who is stronger than she is and weakness in him won't get her sympathy at all.

He will be expected to behave like a real man, who can dominate her and make her proud. At the same time, he should respect her individuality. He should be better looking than average, with an intellect, philosophical and totally masculine. He must also be ambitious and able to handle tough situation with poise. After she gets committed, a Scorpio female will shower you with all her love and attention. Her whole life will start revolving around you and she will be extremely loyal and exceedingly passionate.

She is passionate with everything that is related to her. It is almost impossible for her to have neutral feelings. Either she will deeply cherish or fiercely hate. If any of the feelings are not experienced, she will become completely indifferent towards it. Scorpio women, however, never let these feelings show. Her expression will always remain neutral, betraying nothing. Her anger is very bad and it's better to get out of her way when it gets out of hand. Her characteristics profile will make her storehouse of secrets, but people wouldn't know any of hers.

Her personal life will be out of bounds for everyone. At the same time, she will never tell the secrets that have been confided in her, not even to you. Even with you, she will have a private part and its better not to pry. That does not mean she is dishonest. Infact, she will be so brutally honest that, at times, she may hurt people in the process. Like a typical Scorpio, she will choose her friends very carefully and the credible ones will remain with her throughout her life. She will never maintain a relationship with unworthy people.

Determination and will power are her basic personality traits. She can use them anytime to come out of anything that is negative. If you have been able to win the true love of a Scorpio female, you can be sure you will never feel lonely again. She will be totally devoted to you and even if you two don't get married for any reasons beyond your control, her love for you will not change. She is one of those who believe in the phrase 'Till Death Do Us Apart'. Rather than overshadowing her husband, she believes in supporting him.

'Behind every successful man, there is a woman'; this idiom is perfect in case of the husband who has a Scorpio wife. For her, the future, the happiness and the dreams of her husband hold the supreme importance. She will always defend him fiercely in public and won't take nicely to anyone taking advantage of him. She will always encourage him to reach for the stars, build his courage and never let him turn back from midway. Scorpio women love their homes and keep them spic and span.

Now comes the dangerous part. A Scorpio girl is extremely jealous and fiercely possessive of her loved ones. She is prone to suspicions; so don't give reasons to be doubtful of you. On the other hand, you will have to control your jealousy, since she will be attracting a lot of members of the opposite sex. She also dislikes being possessed by anyone, including you. In such a scenario, just remember that a Scorpio woman will always be loyal and devoted to you, even in the worst of circumstances.

And then, you know you cannot leave her and it is better to adjust to such a trifle thing. Nobody walks away from a Scorpio, right? As far as money is concerned, she will enjoy it whether she saves it in a piggy bank or splurges it on luxurious things. She is very conscious of her social standards and will never compromise in case of status. She likes power and will sacrifice money and many other things for it. She seems to be very practical, but inside she is very emotional. Like all Scorpios, she will not see any viewpoint in case of her own emotions.

A Scorpio female has a sense of fairness and justice. If you don't wish her good morning one day after a fight, she will do the same for the next four days. The same goes for generosity also. If you do one kind deed for her, she will do four in return. As a mother, she will extremely possessive of her children and will care for them. However, she may not express her love openly and this is something you will have to teach her. She will make them independent, fair, strong and proud of themselves, the way she is of them. She will encourage them to develop their innate talents and make sure they don't go unnoticed.

A Scorpio woman can drown you in her passion. But then, she can also bring you to safety when the raft becomes too dicey. She can provide you her calm and steady support in the worst of circumstances. Once you win her love, you will never be lonely again. Your food will be perfectly baked and she will grind fresh coffee for you. You will always come back to a spotless home, radiating with the aura of her magnetic personality, the charm of her deep beauty and the warmth of her everlasting love!

love love!

Tons to talk about!

2009-11-02T22:16:00.002+08:00

Okay, so I just gotta write this post as fast as my slightly-too-long-but-then-again-quite-perfect-length nails will allow me to, otherwise all my thoughts, will DISAPPEAR.
So first, I just gotta say that I am TOTALLY in love with this advertisement.

Yeap, you heard me,(well read me), I'm in LOVE with an advertisement. its this advert, on zee movie theatre channel 150, see? So of COURSE the adverts are going to be fab-u-lous right? Anyway, this is the newest Reliance ad, with Hrithik Roshan and there's just something about it that I just love! I love the tunes, which my mother said is actually Bach's, I love the little dance and I love his look! I actually get a little happier whenever it happens to come on. Some might think that's pathetic with a capital P, but that's just the way I feel right NOW! I'm gonna post the ad up yea? then I'll talk about something else that's on my mind. Dammit, I can feel my thoughts slipping away into that abyss, where it will only appear again when something else stimulates my mind. Oh well,*shrugs*

Now onto another thing that's on my mind.
I had previously never EVER watched WWE, you know, wrestling? I had always thought it was barbaric and ridiculous and just a violent piece of nonsense(no offense to those fans out there). However, since I had begun to enjoy soccer more and even the NBA(which by the way I have completely lost touch of, cuz of school now), I had become more open minded about sports. Just a teeny tiny bit more open minded. So I thought I should actually give it a try right?

Well, what I realised, when I watched WWE, for like 20 to 30 minutes, is that A) The sport is complete bs, because the moves are SO fake and practiced and pathetic that it really is no use for me to watch it because I couldn't understand why such strong and buff men and women would want to do FAKE moves and B) I am actually quite a violent person myself. I would rather they actually and properly beat people up, with actual bruises and blood than see this "acting" with all their baseless bravado. That sounds quite bad huh? I mean I don't discount the fact that choreographing all those moves and yes, the word is choregraphing, is difficult, what more actually performing them. It must require a lot of muscle control to look like you're hitting hard without actually laying a scratch on the guy. Plus they gotta act all meana nd angry towards each other all the time, which can't be good for their blood pressure, even if it IS just acting.

However, that's just what it is, acting. or dancing even. NOT wrestling. Then how does one DETERMINE a winner? Do they decide beforehand, that oh, okay this week I'm gonna win, so next week will be your turn. And what, at the end of the season or whatever, they decide that okay, YOU can win this season, but next season will be this other guy's win. Cuz everything's fake and practiced anyway. I think though that I'm gonna to do more research into this area before I can make ANYMORE judgements, cuz technically, I'm still quite ignorant about all this.

I had wanted to talk about something else at this point, but now I just either can't remember or I'm too tired and have had enough of typing to blog further. So enjoy the advert and I hope you keep reading!

love love
shini

Killer bus

2009-10-29T18:35:00.002+08:00

Have you ever had the feeling that you're going to die, when you're travelling on public transport? I'm not talking about public transport in other countries where maybe the transport system is not so developed. I'm talking about spore's transport system. Today I rode on the bus home and I swear I saw my life flash before my eyes (not to be cliche or anything). The bloody thing was going so so fast, especially down slopes I was just waiting for the sickening crash against a tree or something. My hands were just ready to be flung on face to protect it! *shudders* I mean the tires were actually SCREECHING, and this is a big vehicle you know.

Thankfully I got off in one whole piece, as the damn thing screeched off. Before this, I had only been in a taxi that went that fast, or faster. At least with the bus, its gotta stop at bus stops. With a taxi on the other hand, it only has to stop at red lights, and it might not even do so either if it manages to beat them! I was practically crying in the back seat and the driver raced to my destination. Racing with WHO I don't know. You have no idea how hard I prayed while I was in that taxi for those few minutes. Sigh. I hope I never am in such situations. I mean I hate being late, but I don't want to worry for and pray for my life while I'm travelling WITHIN my own country on my way somewhere that's probably insignificant. urgh. Okay, enough procrastinating(I say this now as I am thinking about watching a re-run of friends), I NEED to come up with a stupid NEW thesis statement for my ps essay. yes THAT, essay, that I had been complaining about a month ago. Only this time its not the draft but the real thing, worth 20%. Sigh. Help. ciao.

love
shini

interesting no?

2009-10-29T02:40:00.003+08:00

Hey these are just some videos I found, of course the dance one is recommended by someone else la. Enjoy peeps!

Notice, the dancers are russian. Cuz I myself was wondering how indians could be SO fair. I mean not that they're dark la,of course, but that you know her and their features, looked a little different. and yet, she's lip-synching like Karishma Kapoor! So cute and AMAZING performance I swear. They're so precise and PERFECT. And I LOVE the principal dancer's skirt! Anyway, yeah, hope you like the videos!

love love
shini

Sanya and Sarah

2009-10-24T00:47:00.004+08:00

I've talked about these 2 before, but never put up a picture of them. My darling "nieces" Sarah(left) and Sanya(right). The one in pink, Sanya, is older, I think by like a minute. Adorable lovelies, they're 2 years, old. They chatter when you get them started and really make you run, but oh my gosh, they're so entertaining and gorgeous. Hopefully when they're cousin comes down with her mummy, I can debut her picture here as well.

I LOVE THAT THIS HAPPENED IN SPORE, but i was sad that i wasn't there

2009-10-24T00:27:00.000+08:00

Just What I Needed!

2009-10-20T02:13:00.002+08:00

If I haven't said here, how much I LOVE Russell Peters, well then, I LOVE Russell Peters!! Like seriously. I'm sitting here, TRYING to do my essay which is due in like 14 hours, (tues, 4pm) and am looking at 1500-200 words, of which about 400 have been written and not very well I might add, and i come across this clip of his, some old work which I haven't seen, and it cheers me up to no end! I swear, if he comes to Spore again, I will MAKE SURE that I go and watch him. I don't care what my MOTHER says. Sigh. So here are 2 old clips, that whose material you may not have seen. Lots of love!

Clarification

2009-10-13T19:57:00.002+08:00

I'd like it to be known that any reviews, or recommendations of restaurants or shops or movies or plays, at all, are coming from my own enthusiasm and experience for the product/f&b outlet/form of entertainment. I have not and probably WILL NEVER receive any gifts or money from the above-written-type-of places. So I just want to be clear on that. As I just read in the newspaper that a fine will be imposed on bloggers who write reviews and received gifts or money for them. So I just want to make sure I'm not going to be accused of something I did not do.

love love

shini

parenthood?

2009-10-12T22:59:00.003+08:00

This is going to be a quick one(hopefully) because I gotta go and finish ALL my studying for my soico mid-term on wed. Because I have to do cleaning tomorrow and some errands and yeah. Okay, I just had this thought that happened to be floating around.

I think being a parent, or more specifically in my case, a mother is A LOT of responsibility. I mean carrying the child for 9 months is hard, but after you squeeze him/her(hopefully a her) out, then you gotta RAISE her! I mean, I don't think I'd like all the cleaning up all the constant pooping and the worrying about every single bodily fluid, but I'll get used to it I'm sure. Its the learning part,and the development part that I'm worried about. Like, as an infant, when would you have to stop going to its every cry, and let it learn and what things to teach it without making it obvious that you're teaching her. I know I'm only a kid and I've got a looooooonnnggg way to go before even THINKING bout kids, but actually, if I hope to have at least ONE kid before I'm 30 (doing a breast cancer assignment made me worried), then its not that far away. I suppose this kind of thinking makes me appreciate my OWN mother, and like how on earth she managed to raise one kid in the uni, and the other (hopefully) ON the way to uni. Sigh. Now I feel all mushy, I'm gonna go and study. AND finish my work. even if it kills me. OH DAMN, tmr, got early lecture. MUST WAKE UP. okay, bye!

love love

shini

the Fun theory

2009-10-08T23:09:00.001+08:00

Thanks S!!

P.S. I'm drinking eldeflower liquer as I type this and it is lovely!

2009-10-06T22:57:00.002+08:00

First of all, YAY 150 POSTS!!!! I gotta be happy about that cuz I don't know how to see number of views.

Second of all, I wanted to recommend this book. I really love it and I suddenly thought of it as I was reading Franz Fanon's work, about decolonialisation. Its technically a fictional book, but I think the writer is actually talking about her life. Its called Don't Lets Go to the Dogs Tonight by Alexandra Fuller. I've read it and re-read it a number of times, cuz I really really like it. If any of you have the time, do read it. kays?

loves

Lesson Learnt

2009-10-06T19:59:00.002+08:00

I learned a lesson today. I learned that I really really have to sleep early if I need to wake up early and that stressing myself up to ensure that I DO wake up. I thought that since I had been sleeping at like 3 and I could wake up at 8, before, means I could do it again. Obviously I didn't realise that this sort of lack of sleep, builds up and will hit you when you when you can afford it the least. Today I had a midterm at 10am, and I WOKE UP at 10.30am. I started FREAKING OUT immediately and swearing of course. Unfortunately I couldn't MISS the midterm because its like 30% so I HAD to somehow go and do the damn test. Also unfortunately, I had no money, so I couldn't call for a cab, so I had to run and catch the bus! I got to the Lt at like 11 and practically BEGGED the lecturer to let me take the test. I didn't mind that I wouldn't have extra time or that I couldn't do the listening portion, I just wanted to try and DO the rest of the test. Thank god I have a tutor who's an ANGEL I swear! So I did the test the BEST I could, even though I had been studying till late last night, I hadn't managed to finish the last set of lecture notes on morphology so I guessed as much as I could. Sigh. at least I tried. and I even managed to finish all the questions too. so yeah.

Urgh. I've got to now go and charge my laptop and either print out the readings for ps tutorial tmr, or read and write notes. and EACH IS like DAMN long you know! Sigh, better get started.

love love

shini

2009-10-03T01:09:00.003+08:00

I know people might say that, "omg, get over it, he's gone,so you should move on", but I JUST found this, and really liked it so I'mma gonna put it up here.

oh and one more thing. I remembered how when we were younger, and there was this channel that showed the British programme Goodness Gracious Me! and my mum, dad, sis and i would all squeeze into my parents' bed and watch together. It was hilarious and I absolutely LOVED it. At that time, me and Di didn't know anyone who watched it too, so we didn't really talk about it with other people. Kind of like inside joke. Now, of course, I think more people I know have heard of the show, even though its not being shown regularly on a channel. I'd like it to be know that I HAVE HEARD OF THE SHOW AND WATCHED IT A SUPER DUPER LONG TIME AGO. So its not a new thing to me. I was gonna put up a clip, but u can find one easily enough. just type in the name. However, I must say that its nice to be remeinded of the show. Makes me remember all the other shows that I loved, that well, ended and disappeared.

loves
shini

the future?

2009-10-01T02:29:00.002+08:00

I've been feeling a little depressed lately. And its got to do with the fact that I had chosen to do Political Science as my major. I mean I haven't actually declared but everyone goes into uni, with some idea of your choice of major and mine was PS. However, now when I'm actually DOING the module, as in the intro module, I feel like I'm not good enough to do well in it. I feel I'm not good enough to do ANY module for that matter. I'm not confident of ANY subject and I just don't feel good enough. And that's frustrating you know?

I don't like feeling this way and yet I can't DO anything about it. I'm trying to write my PS essay draft and whatever I HAVE written, somehow looks so juvenile and "small girl". I feel like the information's wrong, the tone seems tentative and I don't really know how to correct it. And while I'm writing, I have to remember to put in the right citations at the right junctures. AND think of examples too! I mean this will be my term essay, so I gotta do well in it, but I just don't see that happening. I hate that my self-esteem seems non-existent, or at least the level seems so low it can't even BE SEEN but I don't know how to pull it up. And nobody likes a sad low, constantly demeaning herself person. Its extremely unattractive. So I try to put up a fake persona, that's confident and apparently, it works, but its harder and harder to put up every time. I hardly EVER have good, real, confident days and its not like self-esteem is only attributed to this feeling of not being smart enough either. Lots of things affect self-esteem; don't get me STARTED on my appearance! I really gotta stop whining on this blog, cuz then people ( the few who regularly check it out) will stop and that doesn't do ANY good for said self-esteem. I think I'm gonna shut up now and TRY and finish fleshing out my draft as well as putting in the citations. Tomorrow I'll edit and put the citations in-text. Gonna go now and well, bye

a sad sad shini

2009-09-29T02:28:00.001+08:00

Grey's Anatomy

2009-09-29T02:12:00.002+08:00

The new season has started. I had almost refused to watch the last season cuz it drove me nuts, cuz it was so filled with death and sadness and problems, even though I loved it so much. In the end of course I did watch it, cuz, how could I not right? Been watching EVER SINGLE EPISODE, since it started. But I hate what the show does to me. Almost every season, there'll be a whopper of an incident. Usually some tragedy. Which usually ends up with me sobbing my eyes out for over an hour. And I hate what it does to me cuz seriously, I look terrible and my sister looks at me like I'm a wuss, but I just can't help crying whenever I see someone else crying so much, which ALWAYS happens on the show. They're just too good actors!

I'm not afraid to admit it, that I do cry when I watch some shows, because some things just sad. I almost burst into tears, everytime I come even the teensiest bit close to imagining my loved ones passing away. Tears are coming into my eyes as I type this, because of course the thought has been put into my head, of constantly missing them and wanting to talk to them, but not being able to. Oh my god, this is pure torture and by right, I shouldn't be doing this. Everyone's fine and well and healthy and I have other more pressing matters to worry about, like essays and mid-terms but I just can't help it. I just don't know how people do it. How they move on with their lives, without being able to talk to that person who left you. Maybe that's what Sylvia Plath felt like when her father died. I wouldn't know, I don't know her very well, nor do I know her work. I didn't understand at first, but I think I'm beginning to, a little. But still, that one issue eludes me, how they move on, when they want to talk to that person so badly. I don't think I'll every figure it out, which isn't good because eventually, people pass away. They say only 2 things in life are certain, death and taxes. So I'll have to figure it out eventually, but I don't think I have to right now. right now, I gotta go and sleep and start writing that essay draft ASAP. I know I can do it. I just gotta start. I mean I already got some books and other resources. Just gotta start. And remove that block that's somehow been put there, god knows by who and just START.

Good Night.

shini

P.S. Oh by the way, in case you're wondering, yes, I did just watch the first 2 episodes of the new season 6 of Grey's Anatomy. Check out greatstufftv.com if you want to too. Damn, got EL lecture tmr, must be ready to not understand! sigh. bye!

2009-09-26T18:23:00.002+08:00

You know why Shah Rukh Khan is so loved by fans? Its because he's smart enough to choose roles where he's depicted as the swoon-worthy hero and he knows that he can DEFINITELY do romantic roles. If you think about it right, SRK's a very GOOD actor, because all the roles he portrays in the different movies, are so so so completely different from how he is as a person, and if you think about it, if you can portray someone so far from your own personality, you must be a pretty good actor. The annoying thing is that I don't like him as a person, but the thing is, he's such a fab actor that I've seen almost all his movies and i've seen HIS movies the most.

You know something else, India's advertisements are damn exciting la. I don't even mind that there are so many advertisements cuz they're so entertaining!

Thoughts of a Curious Person

Simply Rahat!

Bloody storm

Excuse the foul language

I could listen all day

ZEE CINE AWARDS 2010 @Marina Bay Sands Grand Ballroom!

Both ends of the scale

Broke and Upset about it

"It Gets Better" — Love, Pixar

Raavan

Romance and BGR

3-2

Om shanti om

Phuket and World Cup

Korean Drama

Chori Chori Chupke Chupke

Puyal 2010 Alumni

Love

Transgenders

Kathak ki Kahani

So not in the mood

Pirates of the Carribbean Trilogy

Star Screen Awards

Everybody Loves Raymond

Merchants of Bollywood!!!

*shakes head* Sigh.

George Carlin

Sonu Nigam LIVE IN CONCERT!!!

Musings of 2009

books vs shoes

new realisations

Suicide

Mule

Cake vs Cookie, Brownies, Biscuits

Feminist?

so you think you can dance 4

Sad sad sad

too much don't ya think?

A first

Tons to talk about!

Killer bus

interesting no?

Sanya and Sarah

I LOVE THAT THIS HAPPENED IN SPORE, but i was sad that i wasn't there

Just What I Needed!

Clarification

parenthood?

the Fun theory

Lesson Learnt

the future?

Grey's Anatomy

shakes head Sigh.