Well I'm back from Phuket. I've told so many people about the trip that now I can't bear to talk about it here. So let's just say that it was a very interesting experience and that I'll never be the same after it.

I had a lot of thoughts I wanted to pen down and explore, but I didn't have a pen on me. I'm technically supposed to be doing household chores, as well as looking for a job, but I'm procrastinating and putting it on hold.

okay, this was a waste of time, cuz I truly have nothing in my head.

love, shini

Phuket and World Cup

I'm going on a trip in 2 days. Going to Phuket on saturday, till wednesday. I'm hoping that the people I'm going with don't read my blog and don't know it exists but truthfully, I'm not looking forward to the company. I'm excited purely for the location. The last time I was in Phuket was like at least 10 years ago, so I barely remember it. The tsunami of 2004 also would have changed much, both the people and the coastline. In that sense I'm looking forward to going back to that lovely place. However, though the people I'm going with are perfectly nice and warm, they're not exactly my age per se and I'm not very good with children of ages between 7 and 12. Before and after I'm alright but that particular age group is difficult for me. I'm sad that one of the people that usually does go, isn't this time, so the trip will definitely be strange without her. I'm just really really hoping that the trip will be fun and relaxing.

The thing is, the World Cup is on now and I just KNOW I'm going to miss some matches that I really want to watch. Officially I support Spain, France, Argentina and South Korea. I watch Portugal just for Christiano Ronaldo and I'm not ashamed to say it. Hello?! I AM a girl after all! However, I will instinctively support the underdog in a match. It was extremely embarrassing for Spain to lose last night to Switzerland, but I'm almost hoping that Spain DOES come up against Brazil, just because I know Brazil will slaughter them and it would serve them right for doing so badly against the Swiss in the first place. Sympathetic fan I am not. I really do like watching soccer, and not just for the hot guys(though those are in small quantity lately). I like the game itself and I can see if a goal will go in or not, at least from the angle itself and when they're offside or not. I look forward to a fast game, and can't bear it when they're slow. Cards make the game interesting, as do penalties but even just a well-done play is good too. So to the guys who think I watch if just for the players, YOU'RE WRONG. The hot players are a BONUS, not the REASON.

its interesting to see how different people watch soccer. Yesterday night I was yelling at the tv, which is not new for me. Doing it in front of people is new for me. Then again, they're so close to me, its not embarrassing. My father watches it quite quietly and most guys do too I think. My cousin says girls are very noisy, but then again, how can not be? We're ALWAYS noisy, and soccer is exciting so duh! My friend says I'm just as entertaining as the tv, but then again, she doesn't really watch soccer much, except the World Cup. I shall take that as a compliment.

Sigh. Okay, enough blabbering. Gotta go do laundry.

ciao lovies!
shini

Korean Drama

I have a confession to make.

I watch korean dramas.

Well technically I've only watched like 2 and I'm currently on my third.
I don't know what it is about them since the ones I've watched are just basically drawn out romantic/family dramas but you get really hooked on them! It helps that there isn't like season 1 and season 2, just one run of the show and that's it. They're fun to watch, and I'm so used to watching shows with subtitles that it doesn't take away from the real emotions shown on the show.

At the same time, I don't know why, but its sort of embarrassing for me to admit that I watch them. Maybe its my circle of friends and people or the general view that they're fluffy and ridiculous or whatever. I mean, when I watched Hana kimi, the taiwanese version on tv, or I tried to, my dad and mum were appalled and wondering why on earth am i doing it? My sister watched with me of course. They basically gave us grief about it. Then, again when me and sister were drawn and I mean literally DRAWN into watching Boys Before/Over Flowers, the korean drama, again, father teased and gave grief. Thank goodness he didn't catch on when I watched the short but sweet, You're/He's Beautiful. So can you really blame me for giving father grief for watching some Billionaire show, also a Korean drama on KBS and even TAPING it when he went out? I don't think so. He can still jack me back when he saw me watching Smile, You, the third Korean drama which I'm watching now online, after I made noise about him taping the other show. Humph.

I refuse to be embarrassed about watching dramas, Korean OR Hindi cuz they're fun and nice and quite frankly easy entertainment. If I wanted to LEARN something, I'D PICK UP ONE OF THE MANY BOOKS LYING AROUND MY HOUSE thank you very much.

humph.


and double humph.


shini

I'm going to assume that noone reads my blog. simply because i'm too lazy to take out my diary and write in it and I'd rather type and I need to get something off my chest so I'm writing in the smallest font so people won't be bothered to take the effort to squint and read it.

I"m going to be happy and cheerful and fine and normal and nice ALL THE FREAKING TIME from now on. Depressed and crabby shini is no more. I'm going to be in a good mood all the time. At least I'll portray that. To other people. I'll only be secretly sad and depressed on the inside. By myself and not tell anyone. Because depressed and crabby shini is not fun. My sisters both say so. People miss that shini. The nice and fun and normal shini. So I'll be her again. On the outside. Cuz its really not fair to other people. So yeah. Only I hope I do a good enough job so people can't tell. And since noone reads the blog, or at least I'm assuming here, its all good. Cuz i mean sad people are overrated and EVERYONE seems sad and having problems. so a positive person is attractive and useful.

shini

Wow. okay I did really really badly. Won't give the specific details, cuz that'll depress me even more. Its interesting; I don't think I've ever been embarrassed about my grades before. I mean I am not a smart student, not a hardworking one so my grades have been mediocre at best and downright terrible at worst. However, I've never been embarrssed about them. I've always thought that hey, I can do better, eventually and I DO do better eventually. That always sort of cheered me up. I don't know why I'm in such a shock that I did so badly this time, cuz i really and truly did not study. AT ALL. I mean I brought down to a new low. I guess I sort of achieved what I wanted in the end. To se how badly I could score with the most minimum amount of studying. But I didn't think I'd actually feel EMBARRASSED about the results considering I had always expected it deep down and I KNOW that I really did not study this sem. I guess, this is unforseen side effect of my little "experiment". I mean I could always say that, "don't worry shini, next sem you WILL study, all the time and not have to rush your assignments(though those weren't the problem) and you'll be more prepared for the finals(those WERE the problem) the 41hours a week and all that (calculated by a friend to be the number of hours a week I should be studying or at least reading)". And yes, I truly believe that I will do that because I mean, I WANT to get my As like everyone else. I WANT to be offered Honours like everyone else and I WANT to get like First Class or at least Second Upper. I WANT to study so hard and SO much that I've really tried EVERYTHING and to have NO regrets. I want to get those many As that everyone else gets. I want to feel like I'm smart and hardworking and as good as everyone else. So I will try harder next semester and study all those hours and do really well in my assignments and finals and even talk in Pol science tutorials. But the thing is, next semester is really far away and I'm feeling depressed NOW and I can't really DO anything about it.

THIS SUCKS. and its all my fault.

shini