I need to confess something. I'm pretty sure that no one would find this blog anyway so I should be fine.

I am TERRIFIED of World MUN. Absolutely TERRIFIED. And I'm a delegate for the Singapore team. I should be excited and I sort of am. But I'm just so so terrified. Plus the expenses are worrying me. Especially since I don't have any work attire so I have to buy pants and a blazer and hope my mum can dig out some blouses for me to wear. And wear those ridiculously painful heels. They really are ridiculous. But they're the only pair of "work"looking heels I have. A bit high la for "work" but I obviously don't have the cash to buy another more comfortable pair. I just don't want to look STUPID. not just in attire but during the sessions and while talking and convincing the other delegates. Especially since the Chairs of the different committees are so so impressive, just from the little biodata that they provided. And I'm pretty sure that the majority of the delegates would have done this all before. Also, my laptop's battery power is QUITE pathetic, so bringing it to the conference would be a little ridiculous, especially since each session is supposed to be 3 hours and I KNOW my laptop can't last 3 hours. Maybe I should buy another battery? I don't even know where to get that but I'm sure I can secure a powerpoint thingy in the conference? And omg lugging the stupid laptop around will kill me. Is it tacky to have the wire and all that?Can't be helped what. Omg I'm so so nervous and scared and worried and deep deep deep DEEEEEEPPPPP down, I'm pretty sure there's a little excitement there.

NOT to mention I still have to solve the problem of the a.r. rahman ticket that I can't use. NOT because its my fault. ooooohhh noooo, it technically isn't. But in my mother's eyes, it IS my problem, and it IS my fault and WHY can't I just leave the conference early on the LAST FREAKIN DAY and go for the concert that I wasn't even asked about or knew about with my mother and uninterested sister who will probably FALL ASLEEP. She and my aunt just DON'T GET IT. There are at least 6 social events happening at night or whatever and MUN is as much a conference as a social thing where you interact with people from different parts of the world and make friendships. Wouldn't you think I'd WANT to be there all the way till the end for last night? Of COURSE nothing is compulsory, except obviously the sessions, but I'd didn't sign up for this because I HAD to, but because I WANTED to. and i've NEVER done MUN before. EVER. I'd really want to experience this whole thing cuz hello, when will I ever get to?!

sigh. I'm getting more frustrated as I talk about this.
Forget it.

shini