Sometimes, I wish that I could stop thinking. That the voice in my brain, which is not some weird "voice in my head" thing but just my OWN voice would stop talking and thus basically thinking. Even when you THINK you're "stoning" or while you're watching tv where you think that your brain is "turned off" its not really. I mean OBVIOUSLY its not la, because then you'd be brain dead but there's no "hibernate" or "sleep" mode like a laptop. Even when you are sleeping, you're still thinking, but worse, in the form of dreams. And let me tell you, as I've said before, dreams can be exhausting too.

Then again, if you don't think, and if you're voice isn't always speaking, to yourself, then you'd be dead. It's probably a sign if the internal voice stops talking. You're probably near the end. So in a way, clearly its good that your head can't stop thinking and talking. Drives you nuts, but still. it'd be nice to put it on pause for a while at a time sometimes.

shini

Both ends of the scale

I've had a few things on my mind lately and at some point, I figured that I had to let it all out because then new topics and things can enter and be analysed in my head.

So here goes nothing.

First, this started with my dad telling me about this colleague of his. He had worked with her, previously and stuff and then I thought he was going to tell me something interesting about her, like at 50, she's getting married for the first time or something (don't laugh, I've gone for such a wedding; but it was my mum's friend). Well, I wasn't wrong, he did tell me something interesting about her, but on the other end of the scale.

She had passed on and that day was her final rites. He couldn't even go for them because it was already like 7 plus. The thing is, my dad usually goes for these things, if he knows about them.
She apparently had most of her family in Australia and like maybe one sister in Singapore. My dad didn't know about her passing because there wasn't even a mention in the obituary section of the newspaper. He said that because she's single, they want to just do the whole thing quickly and be done with it.

And I found that immensely sad and unjust. I mean everyone's passing is important. Therefore their last rites are just as important. And not putting it in the newspaper, prevents other people from saying goodbye one last time. Just because you're single, with no offspring, doesn't mean that people won't miss you. Of course there's a less negative way at looking how her relatives handled the situation but frankly I can't think of it. Which is why I put up on facebook a suggestion.
If you're going to be single for the rest of your life, then you must interact with your friends and friends' children. Have all kinds of friends and don't withdraw from the world. Otherwise, when you go, there'll be no one to remember you. My parents have some single friends, at this age. When they go, should they outlive my parents, I'll still definitely remember them. I may not have known them very well, but I'll remember how they interacted with me. So yes, just a note out there, Have many friends, meet them up, keep in contact and make your mark on your friends, because that may be the only way you can make your mark on the world.


Okay, now onto another topic.
oh crap, i've forgotten another thing I wanted to talk about.
Okay never mind.

Moving on....
I was thinking about Chick-lit stuff. You know like movies, and books? I'm a big fan of Chick-lit. I think I've even defended it before on this blog, or it might have been about hindi movies. Anyway, so you know I watche/read them.
Well lately I've been disappointed of them of late. I knwo that with fluffy material like that, if you read/watch enough of them, you can predict the ending. You KNOW who will end up with whom and what will happen. Its inevitable. And I used to be fine with that. But for some reason, its been bothering me. The predictability of such storylines is dare I say it, boring me and I've been thinking about taking a "sabbatical" from such material and focusing on perhaps, more serious fiction.
The thing is, I love love stories(despite my ring tone) and I love romance. The sweeping off of the lady's feet, the chemistry you can see between the characters, it all just thrills me and well, sort of gives me hope(though I KNOW no self-respecting Singaporean guy has no intention of embarrassing himself like that). So, what do I do?
As I think about write about this, I have the movie Easy A on download and I'm looking to find Post Grad online too, both real chick flicks. AND I'm excited to watch Band Baaja Baarat, a hindi lovestory/comedy soon.

Anyone got any suggestions?

Broke and Upset about it

Hello again children.

I thought I'd be fine with the whole being broke thing.

Unfortunately, I'm not.

There are simply too many things out there that I want to buy and that I supposedly "need" and people that I really do need to meet and meeting friends cost money anyway you look at it.

AND ITS KILLING ME.

And don't give me the "get a job" spiel. By the time I FIND one, the hols'll be over and I'm back at school. And I can barely negotiate a school timetable, that ends exactly when I want it and has a 3-day work week let alone a job thrown in. So I'm just going to like stick to pocket money.

But wow, I need to find things to do that don't require money at all. Though I suppose one can't do anything without transport so I'll try to come up with things to do without spending money AT ALL.

1. exploring the big houses near my area.
always wanted to do this but somehow never got round to doing it during the 8 month break or the 3 month summer hols. pathetic i know.

2. exercising
( i dont particularly enjoy this suggestion, but its so smack in your face, I had to type it)

3. re-arranging drawers and wardrobe and clearing of STUFF
again i don't enjoy this but it HAS to be done and doesn't require a cent.

4.Swimming
I like the water. but this is strictly for people who already HAVE seen me in a swim suit and that limits it to like 2 people apart from my parents' friends' children.
And they're not in town currently.

5. Visiting a museum.
I think my student card lets me enter for free for most exhibits, though I'm not sure about Pompeii. Still, would be a good outing. plus, lots of walking(=exercise) involved.

6. Going to Botanic Gardens and people gazing/cloud-watching.

7. Randomly coming up with a dance routine for a song(may come in handy in the future).
*note: time and energy required and cannot be performed in public space*)

8. Visit a friend?
(this is NOT called free-loading)...........okay well maybe it is.

Okay I can't come up with anything else at the moment and I desperately need to sleep so that I can wake up at 7 to go and RUN (its more of a SLOWWWWW jog but yes, must be done sooo..... gotta go)

tons of love, and shall continue this REAL soon.

shini