Apparently, according to someone, the mentality of a working woman and a homemaker is quite different. They obviously have different situations so then that influences their thinking and their priorities and how they view various issues in the world. I'm not being all sociological, but I'm just thinking and I think that nowadays, women are fortunate enough since they are allowed to work wherever they want to. However, its gone to a point where women have to be both working women, and come back home and be the perfect wives, cleaning and cooking and looking after children. I know this sounds like I'm complaining on behalf of all the women, but really, its true. And i'm not talking about my mother!

Its really quite sad you know and at the same time, its amazing cuz I just can't imagine myself to not be working when I graduate, and at the same time I don't plan on hiring a maid, in the future, whether I get married or not. Unless like, I can't handle the children of course.

Okay, I don't have my whole mind in this post so, i'm sorry. Got something else on my mind, and its not for this blog, a bit personal, so excuse me.

However I can't leave without doing a little rave about the newest Bollywood movie to hit our shores: 3 Idiots

IT IS BLOODY AMAZING!!!!! Seriously, I don't have the ability to express how brilliant this movie is, but I'm gonna give it a little try. Its hilarious and yet I found myself crying quite a few times in the movie. Its got some real truths, truths that aren't like superficial, but just are real and apply to ALL of us, not just the students in universities. The acting is superb and its just, really really REALLY good. I completely agree that its the best movie of the year and its a a fabulous to end this year with, at least for me. Anyway, going off, so good bye lovies and my next post will probably in the new year so SEE YA!!

love love
shini

Musings of 2009

A little late in saying this, but MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

Anyway, the new year's coming up and well, this time of the year always makes us look back at the past year and wonder about the new year.

This year, 2009 has been an interesting one I think for me. Got my results, got into NUS, got a job(sort of), had A LOT of vacation time, started school, met new people, and I even manage to perform! Quite truthfully, earlier on in the year like during Arts Camp of even when I was lazing around the house, I was trying to imagine what the end of the year would be like. Like how it would be like to be a freshman who would have FINISHED her 1st semester. That just really overwhelmed me and I just couldn't imagine it; couldn't imagine what I'd be like, if I might have changed. Now, however,because Time never waits for anyone, I'm already here, ont eh 28th of December, waiting for the new year to start.Its really amazing actually.

You know how people say that at this time of the year, the old Year is an old man, and we're waiting for the new Year, to be literally "born"? That ALWAYS made sense to me.

Something else we do before the new year starts is to make new year resolutions. Or at least, decide on what we want to achieve in the new year. Whether or not we DO achieve them is another matter, for next year's end-of-year musings.

What do I want to achieve next year?
I havent' really thought much about it actually; been trying to enjoy the last few days of 2009, seeing as how 2008 was HELL for me.
I suppose this could be my tentative list:
1. obtain at LEAST 4.0 CAP for next sem, and maintain or improve that for 3rd sem
2.either find a job or do an internship during the 3 months break
3. take part in more sch activities?
4. OBVIOUSLY be fitter and exercise MORE, more regularly anyway
5. BE HAPPIER. -I know this sounds really strange but a lot of the time this year, i've been quite sad, or at least unhappy and we shoudl always be TRYING to be happy right?


This isn't the most perfect list and chances are, I might not fulfill it completely. Of course I WILL try my very best to fulfill it. I really DO hope I manage this though.

Anyway, this isn't set in stone or anything and it will probably change later on. Plus there are some other private goals I may want to achieve which I'm NOT going to put up here. so, anyway, I'll be going now.

love love
shini

I am supremely average.

really.

3.20

4B- and 1B+

Yes I could have worked harder. MOST DEFINITELY. but not even 1A? wow my soci essays must have REALLY sucked.

oh god.

Well, try harder next sem. I AM going to get at least 4.0. DON'T CARE. I just gotta remind myself.



urgh. going shopping. bye

I wonder if my parents have given any thought as to who I should marry. Assuming that they think I should marry at all of course, because we can all say we're "colour-blind", and all that, but really, MOST of us aren't. I mean not int he true sense of the phrase. At the very least, You'd notice or like guess that person's race, or sub-group they're from, since we ALL belong to some group right? You'd never actually make snide or demeaning comments about any particular race, but on the other hand, you can't actually say that you are "colour-blind".

So in this case, its with regard to my future partner, whether my parents are looking for a specific person, in terms of well, to put it somewhat crudely, race. I'd actually be fine with anything, so long as noone imposes anything on me and I would try my very best not to impose anything on anyone. I'd really like to get into the head of my parents, and see their opinion on this matter cuz god know that they will absolutely NOT tell me unless inebrited(seriously, it works, try it on your parents). Anyway, I don't know why I'm wondering about this now, its at least 6 years more till its absolutely NECESSARY that I think about this and what's more, my parents didn't even think I'd make it to university, much less they're old school, so I DON'T think that MY future marriage is anywhere in their minds. Okay, Sister is asking for massage, which I can't refuse since I refused to go shopping with them today, and they did ALL the xmas shopping today, so I feel guilty about avoiding the gruntwork so I must go off now. ciao my lovelie!

shini

books vs shoes

Went to the Bookfest today at Suntec and bought like 8 books and my FAVOURITE pens in the entire world so at the end of the night, I was in the BEST mood.

See buying a book makes me more happy than buying anything else. Whenever I go shopping, I like to look at shoes, or jewellery with clothes the last on the list. However even shoes can't compare to books. Seriously. I LOVE shopping for books and it makes me the MOST happy and so i was in a brilliant mood, and I mean absolutely glowing! Cuz i mean earrings or like shoes, yeah, they're new and pretty and everything, but with shoes, they never are completely comfortable for some reason with me and there are only so many new designs of earrings one can have. But a BOOK, is almost always unique in some way and it brings me to another place, sometimes to the point that I want to actually visit the place. Reading does that to me, at least fiction does that. Even non-fiction, like my texts and coursepacks now, are interesting to me though of course I'd much prefer to read what I like. Sigh. *floats happily away to read*

love love
shini!

new realisations

Some things occurred to me today, and unfortunately I didn't have a pen on me so its a miracle that I can even remember them now so bear with me if it all sounds a little strange.

This year I've realised 2 things that I wasn't positive about in the past. Number 1 is that I actually don't like noodles very much. I've always wondered why I could never finish like a whole bowl of noodles but I definitely could finish a plate of chicken rice. Even pasta, I have to be in the MOOD for it, but baked rice is no problem. So I've realised that I'm a rice person, like a REAL rice person. Of course I've been reducing my rice intake and portions over the months and years la. I've also realised that I don't really like breads that much. I mean, I like it better than noodles of course, and its a must for breakfast, but I'm not like my mum and sister. I can't eat plain bread, without anything. I just can't. It has to have at LEAST butter, if not cheese. My sister and mother on the other hand, can totally whack plain buns and whatnot. However I do know that I really really REALLY like potatoes. really really. In almost all forms. I just don't like MASHED POTATO. cuz its too mushy for my liking. Anyway, enough about my favourite carbs, I'm not supposed to be talking or even thinking about them at this point.

Second thing I want mention is that I've always thought that I LOVED LOVED the beach. If you asked me, mountain-side or beach-resort holiday, I'd take beach EVER SINGLE TIME. Recently though I've found out that I really only like the beach in the day, when I can see the sea. I like actually being able to see the colour of the sea and the blackness of the sea and sky just depresses me. Even the ship lights don't cheer me up, cuz I think that they're having a party on the ship and I'm not invited. I also don't quite like it when like the sky's grey or FULL of white clouds, so the sea just looks drab and grey. So nowadays whenever like my mother wants to go to the beach, I will insist that we go in the daytime, so that I can at least see the blue (singapore's waters ARE BLUE so stop saying that they aren't) waters, before it gets all black.

This made me realise that actually, I'm a day person. I've always thought I was a night person. Like I could stay up till the wee hours no problem and I still can. However, I like the day better. I like colours, like on flowers and plants and the blue sky and the white clouds(or grey clouds) and just colours of everything. At night though, I can't see any colour so, its kind of well sad. And the day is a LOT more cheerful and hopeful cuz if you like haven't done something, YOU STILL HAVE TIME. But if its nighttime already, then YOU'RE OUT OF TIME. So I'm technically a day person, who can't wake up in the mornings, but loves the colour and BOTH the sunrise and sunsets.

I actually had something else to write about, but I can't remember the whole thought process of it and my sister's breathing down my neck to CONTINUE using the laptop, so I think I shall log off now.
ta my lovelies!

shini

Would you be sad if I died? Would it make a difference in your life?

How about something less morbid: Would you be sad if I went away to another country forever? Would that make a difference?

I'm not trying to get attention or be morbid or deviant or anything. I'm not trying to send any suicidal message out there in cyberspace. I'm just trying to make a point that for some people out there, they believe that if they disappeared or worse, died, it wouldn't matter to anyone. The believe that the world would be a better place if they didn't exist. They live a somewhat miserable existence, being depressed and upset and never happy or joyful. These people need help, they need someone to tell them that yes, if they were to die, or to disappear, I would miss you. I know that I don't say it to people, especially those who matter the most but I really love you very much and I will be very upset if ANYTHING happened to you. I'd miss you and I'd miss talking to you. I'd miss you being around for me to tell things to you and for you to tell me things. My family and friends, this is for you.

A chicken way of saying I care, but its a start right?

much love
shini

Suicide

My dad was watching this program today, I have NO idea how he finds these programmes, but yeah, anyway, and I happened to be in the dining area, eating my special K. So I was listening to it, and they were talking about the one of the supposed deadly sins, sloth. Something about how it started out as really BEING a sin, but over time, and with the opinons of different people along the way, it became not so much as a moral thing, but as a physical ailment. Some called it melancholy and others depression.

Suicide was apparently connected to sloth and they also talked about how suicide was the ultimate sin. Now, suicide is considered a sin, not only Christianity but other religions as well, though I don't know the specifics. I was pondering about this little bit of fact I just heard about and well, I don't quite think that suicide is the ULTIMATE sin.

Yes I do agree that suicide is still the killing of a life, albeit it is yours. And I do think that life should be treasured not wasted over things that can be solved. Each life is important, and everyone is unique, so when someone dies, something unique and special is being removed from the world. So yeah, I can understand why people would believe that suicide is the ultimate sin.

Suicide often is the easier option, because well death, compared to what you may have to deal with in life seems like solace. For example, with euthanasia, where relatives have to decide whether or not to pull the plug, some relatives will argue that instead of drawing out the patient's life, being pumped full of drugs, that the patient can barely move or even recognise his or her loved ones, it is better to let them sleep, forever. Of course this is a different situation, but you know what I mean. Think about it, if your life is so full of drudgery, and depression and just plain bad things and you're being tortured on a regular basis, either mentally, emotionally or physically, then death is looking pretty good at the moment. Of course I can also see that suicide does seem like the cowardly thing to do. Instead of facing your problems and whatever mess you might have created, you're running away, to where noone can find you, supposedly leaving behind the problems. Unfortunately, often you're also leaving behind the problems for other people to solve, which is extremely unfair and it is maybe from this point of view that suicide is bad, because the person committing suicide is running away from the problems and is being selfish and dumping his or her problems onto another person, a loved one.

However I do also think that while its seen as a cowardly thing to do, I also think to actually take your life, is a hard thing to do. In the movies and all that they make it seem that its easy to kill yourself. There are numerous ways to do it. You could shoot yourself, though you'd have to find a gun first and well, that's quite hard to do in Singapore. You could slit your wrists, but people never do it right and just end up passing out with a lot of blood around them and not actually dying. Hanging is another option, and with Singapore's flats mostly having ceiling fans, its actually pretty easy. Things like suffocating yourself, is hard, cuz you gotta do it yourself; you have to actually bring yourself to do it. In this case, pulling the trigger and slicing your jugular open (apparently is a more effective way of doing it, but of course I don't condone it and I don't actually know) is extremely difficult to do cuz you have to make yourself do it.

People also think that overdosing on pills is the easiest way of killing yourself, but you see, its not 100% positive, as in, it would take time and people can find you and pump your stomach, and save you. Similarly, jumping off buildings, is also not a surefire way of suicide, cuz you've heard of people who jump off buildings and somehow still live, but they're 100 times worse off than before because they've got mega huge hospital bills, plenty of pain and a FAILED SUICIDE ATTEMPT, which means they'll be watched 24/7. So you see my point here? it does take some courage, in a way, to kill yourself.

Anyway, I would like to clarify here that I don't condone suicide, not do I want to commit suicide. I just have these opinions that I want to air on my blog. That's all.

Well, since I took so long to write this post, I've kinda lost my thread so I'll end this now.

shini

Hello hello peoples!!! been a few days since I've blogged. And its so strange but my cousin who also has a blog, INSISTS on asking, "what's shini wondering now?", making me remember that I haven't blogged in a while.

Anyway, tomorrow, I'm gonna have a new experience. Nothing major, don't worry. I'm gonna watch 2 movies by myself! or at least one movie by myself, since sister dear wants to watch de dhana dhan, WITH me. Well, we'll see. My point being that, well, I believe in experiences. Of course some things are better off NOT experienced, but, overall, I think they're good. My sister says that i CANNOT watch movies alone, but well, sometimes, if you really wanna, there's no harm, especially if you can't get a companion to go with you. Plus, I think I'm getting over the whole "all by myself" thing. so we'll see what happens.

I really should be figuring out the module preference exercise thing, but the stupid timetable builder is not working, which means I gotta work everything out manually. Which is why instead of doing that, i'm watching old episodes of Charmed.ahh well, i'll do it eventually

love
shini

hey hey children!!

Okay better write down this thought before it flies out. See on my mother's side, the side that I'm closer to, I have 8 cousins, including the ones living in the US (3). And one would naturally expect us all to get married according to age, and it just so happens that quite thankfully, none of us are like equal in age (though me and my other cousin are like technically 6 months apart, but he's still born in 1991 and I'm born in 1990 so whatever). So between the eldest of us and the youngest, there is a 20 year gap. So far, my first oldest 3 cousins have been married, 2 already have children. Of course the kids like toddlers la but still. Now logically, of apparently, for every important function like kid's birth or wedding, our whole family plus our other parent's sides are invited. This is like before anyone got married. That ALREADY was a large group. NOW, in-laws are also added to the group of "must invite". So I was wondering right, since the majority of us live in spore, by the time my youngest cousin gets married, there will be A LOT of people that "must be invited". Cuz everybody's in-laws gotta be invited too!!! Just thinking about it is making my head spin. I think my auntie better start saving up now itself man. Oh wait, university comes first. ahh well, i think my youngest cousin, should saving now itself:)

okay, that's it.

Oh also, I'm getting hooked into the show called "glee" specially since my OTHER favs are like not being uploaded. Which reminds me, better go check:)

ciao!

love
shini

Mule

Mama told me something interesting. Apparently she breastfed me for only 3 months, like with the breast. Then I think she needed to switch over, to go back to work, so when she did, she expressed the milk into a bottle right? So she wanted to feed me with the bottle. GUESS WHAT?

I absolutely refused to drink from it! Apparently I was so angry that she switched, I think I liked the mother-daughter time when she breastfed me or something, that I refused to drink any milk the WHOLE DAY! Mind you, I was like 4 months old or something. I think I just kept crying and refusing the milk. My mother said she'll never forget that day, cuz she was so stressed cuz for small baby, milk is fed every 4 hours and like whole day I didn't drink anything. Stubborn as a mule she said. HOWEVER, I just said that at that age, without any environmental factors, the stubborness is just the genes so she has herself and papa to blame. Which is true what!She knows herself that she is stubborn so yea. i truly never knew about that story.

anyway, I felt like putting that up. I'm feeling kinda tired, but shall persevere and go read.
ta!

love love
shini

Hello my lovelies!!

As you can tell, I'm in an okay-ish sort of mood right now. Well at least I'm not depressed. I'm just tired and well, kinda happy I suppose. anyway, people are all buzzing about Adam Lambert's supposed jaw-dropping performance at the American Music Awards, which I nicely missed cuz I just didn't know about it. Anyway, to see what the big problem was, I decided to youtube the performance (which reminds me, I gotta see the whole thierry henry thing as well) and quite frankly I don't see what the problem was.

HE WAS PUTTING ON A SHOW PEOPLE!!!!

Gosh, you'd think Americans have never seen a kiss between 2 guys before. And hello? Anyone remember the smooch between the 2 mega starts Madonna and Britney? They didn't give THOSE two as much flak as they are giving Adam. Why cuz they're women? Such bull! *rolls eyes*
And personally, I think the Brit-Madge kiss was a little strange, cuz I mean not to be ageist or anything but, Madonna looked to old to be kissing Britney like that ON STAGE. But whatever, that was over and done with. At least Adam's kiss went with the theme of the whole thing. You know, there was flow. Although I do have a complaint about the performance. I did like the song, the beat was good, but i think he screamed it too much near the end. Overall, though I'm still a fan and maybe I will go and buy his album after all!

Oh! I was looking at Penny's Daybook today and they had done this interview with this designer? So I checked out her website and TOTALLY FELL IN LOVE WITH HER DESIGNS. I'm serious. I saw at least 10 things or MORE that I wanted to buy immediately. Thankfully she's based in spore (sporean after all) and there's the possibility of me buying her stuff. UNFORTUNATELY, I am 100% broke. Like completely absolutely. At such an inconvienent time too. See I really wanna watch Kurbaan (movie), The Beauty and the Beast (theatre) and I desperately need to buy some black flats as my old pair are BEYOND repair. And now, on top of everything, I have discovered a website that sells my favourite type of accessories, in new designs that I just adore. I love shopping for accessories, but I hate buying clothes. Which is why my wardrobe is kinda boring. Plus, with my figure,(not size cuz the word has a slightly negative connotation, to me anyway), a number of styles are completely OUT for me.

So do check the website out, its http://www.jeaninegabrielle.com/ and trust me, you'll love it too.

Another thing. In dec, I've decided to try out the Special K thing where u eat Special K for 2 meals and you'll supposedly go down a jean size in like a week. I don't believe the "dropping a jean size in a week" part, cuz thats just not possible, especially for me, but I do think that if you eat flakes twice a day, deny yourself carbs and all the junk food you love, SOME weight has to go off. Problem is thaaaaat, I'll be going out a lot in dec. So how to maintain? Plus, I'm not sure i should gym as ferociously as I had initially planned (before the Special K plan), cuz I might pass out on the gym floor from lack of energy. Well, we'll see. The problem with wanting and TRYING to lose weight, is that I think I'll be seriously unhappy most of the time, cuz dieting is like my mortal enemy. The treadmill looks like 10 times friendlier.

You know how sometimes, you find it hard to tell certain people your weight, if it comes up? Personally, I never ask, cuz I wouldn't like to be asked by anyone except the members of the tightest circle. So when someone else asks, depending on the person, I'll either say, no, or I'll just give the answer and change the topic. Its harder when the other person is so......pro-fitness and frank about YOUR appearance (i.e. shini you're fat and need to lose weight.-well not in the same way la, but you get the idea) On the other hand, since I don't really know ALL the people who read my blog, and those I do know, I'm comfortable enough with to confess my weight, I'm totally fine with typing my latest knowledge about my weight online. so here goes.....51kg.

Wow. that was actually hard to type. Bear in mind also that I'm only 1.48m so, technically i'm kinda overweight. That's why I look the way I do I suppose. I plan to lost AT least 5KG, if not 6 and go down to 45kg, which is the heaviest I should be EVER. The thing is, I don't think the 5kg, will make much of a difference, visually I mean. Of course if I lose like 10kg, then yeah la, you'll see some weight loss. But. I think its hard for me to lose weight, cuz dieting makes me sad and there's only so much exercise can do without dieting.

Okay, this is just depressing me and I've already wasted enough time today. I'm going to listen to the webcast. Damn, I can just HEAR the chips calling me. Urgh. thank god for exams. gives me an excuse, note an excuse not reason, to delay my get-fit attempt.

feeling depressed and hungry,
shini

P.S. I'll try not to listen.

Cake vs Cookie, Brownies, Biscuits

The thing about baking cakes, is that you can't taste-test them. Not really anyway. If you're making it for tea, to serve it to other people, then after you bake it, you can't really taste-test it, in case something went wrong and it doesn't taste good. You just gotta serve it and hope for the best. Which is why I think, in the world of baking, baking a cake is the ULTIMATE challenge for me. So far I can bake ONE type of cookie and ONE type of biscuit, as di says, one sweet and one savoury should be enough for me. And technically, it is. However, its not very impressive when you tell other people you see. So at some point, I gotta be able to bake other things on my own, like brownies and eventually CAKES.

I do know though, that if I were going to bring something for tea, I'd NEVER bring cake. Cuz well, with my baking skills, you can never be sure that the cake turned out well, and its not nice to impose bad or at least not good cakes on other people, even if they're family.

NOTE: this is not a commentary on any actual event happening. Just an observation.

shini

In case you're wondering, I'm still in A VERY BAD MOOD. cried and everything. However, I wanna just mention something.

I'll say one thing about my parents. Though they can really really piss me off, like ALL the time and of course vice versa, I can imagine that they must have really taken good care of me and sister when we were younger. I mean of course they still do, but a symptom of the past is still carried forth till today.

No matter what time it is, if either one of us enter their room while they're both sleeping, you can bet that at least one if not both of them will wake up to ask what's wrong, or what do you need. Even just now when I wanted to charge my phone with my mum's charger which was plugged in very tightly in her room. Before I could even REACH the charger, she already asked, what are you looking for. And not even in an irritated way. And I think this is a symptom of when we were younger and woke up in the middle of the night. It helps that they're both teachers and HAVE to wake up super early.

I do remember though, one night that my sister woke up from the storm going on outside, or she had a really bad nightmare, and she wasn't like 7 or 8 mind you. That time we hadn't joined our beds together and there was the HUGE gap of like 4 parquet squares between our beds. She was so affected that she actually wanted to climb into bed with me. I was half asleep myself, so I whatever. But even though the other family member may not be awake enough to comfort you properly, just being close helps i think. Then again, you'd have to ask my sister.

Even though I'm regularly irritated with my family, and STILL are as of this moment, I do love them and treasure them very much and would die if anything happened to them.
On that note, i'm going to go off to cry in peace.

shini

Sociology is making me depressed. Really depressed. Especially when no solutions are offered. Somthing else is making me feel sad too, except I can't or more appropriately WON'T discuss(complain) about it here. And I'm too lazy to write about it in my diary. Writing makes me tired. It doesn't help that the song playing now is very sad (Tu Jaane Na). And I didn't have a proper meal today, yet my tummy isn't or hasn't complained. Amazing huh?

If my sister takes any more money from me, I will be so so completely broke and supremely unhappy I'll probably kill her. Seriously. At the rate she's going, she has to give me her pocket money for the next 3 months at least. And she gets like $30 a week or at least she's supposed to. Dad doesn't give regular monies when we don't go to sch regularly, like during the hols. Plus he's pissed at her now so he said she's not getting any monies. So guess who's she going to be sponging off now? And urgh, an awful thought just occurred to me: she'll get thinner from having no monies to eat a lot and hence look even BETTER than she already does next to me.

In case you haven't realised yet, this is going to be a wallow-in-self-pity post. so get out if the low self-esteem is making you gag. I know I would if I weren't in such a FOUL mood right now.
My lack of knowledge and my inability to withhold any information I read, is pissing me off further, along with my wonderfully screwed up biological clock. I don't know what I'll do if I'm late for my exams. Probably cry my eyes out I suppose. Well its NOT going to happen. I JUST GOTTA SWITCH THE CLOCK BACK somehow. I could attempt to wake up without 8 hours of sleep tmr I suppose and see if my theory works or not.

Urgh. Okay my OWN self-pity and low self-esteem is annoying even me so i'm ending this post and to whoever is reading this blog, forgive me for this drivel.

shini

Feminist?

I happened to be talking to this guy some time ago, and I happened to be telling him about how I'd run my life in the future.

For example, like I AM NOT doing my future husband's laundry(should i even get married). And how I'd learn cooking, not to cook FOR my husband, but cuz its a good skill to have and I'd learn dishes that I like to eat, not to be a perfect wife and daughter-in-law. I probably won't be the perfect daughter-in-law cuz i'm not going to be a housemat for the husband. None of the I do the housework and cooking AND go to work. If you're gonna live in the house, you gotta do your share too. I told all this to him and well, he was surprised.

Thinking about all this now, I still believe in what I said. However, I am wondering if I sound like a feminist or not. I mean there's nothing wrong with being feminist but I don't want to be labelled. Plus I've also heard that guys are scared of dominating females. And I'm actually a shy girl you know so I don't want to send of the wrong impression. But I can't pretend I'm one person, when I'm another.

Sigh. I think marriage is something that's waaayyyy in the future. And its ridiculous to think about it now. But still! Ah, never mind. Anyway i'll be back probably to off load some other thoughts that were stimulated by socio. Which is what i'm supposed to be studying. I'm on Family, in case you're wondering.

love!
shini

i feel sick. maybe its my body acknowledging my procrastination regarding my exams in like A WEEK. omg. i think vomit just came up. or that other thing, whatever its called. *shudders*

slept WAAAAAYYYYY too much today, so i'm wide awake at nearly 3 in the morning. urgh. and i've only done till phonology for english. sigh. i am BEYOND screwed you know that?BEYOND. i can say bye bye to my As and Bs.

sob sob. i'm going off now.

bleaugh.

shini

I'd like to add something else on to the post below. If you watch the first video, and listen to the judges' commentary, you'll notice that the last judge, Mia Michaels who's this phenomenal contemporary choreographer by the way, says that she loves it when you see the bollywood dances being performed with like hundreds of people behind all in sync. I find her comment very very refreshing. People are always making fun of that element in bollywood cinema, that out of nowhere 50 dancers pop up and all start dancing the exact steps and singing with their constumes in place. I've always loved that aspect. See what people don't realise is that all those scenes right, are supposedly called "dream sequences" that are happening in the mind of either the hero, the heroine or both. I figured that usually, if the hero is singing and the his so-called love is silent during the song-dance and is just smiling lovingly, he is in love with her in real life but hasn't told her. And vice versa. If BOTH are singing, then they're either on honeymoon, or in some magical place.

Anyway, I just thought it was interesting that she, a western choreographer actually thinks that the whole group dancing in sync thing is amazing. made me happy:)

anyway, i'm basically screwed for my exams. I don't even seem stressed about it, probably cuz the lecturers and tutors seem to think its not that a big deal. BUT IT IS!!! urgh
dead dead dead dead dead very much DEAD.

a dead and sad shini says bye.

so you think you can dance 4

I love watching the show So You Think You Can Dance and I'm currently waaaayyyy behind, only o Season 4. However that doesn't matter cuz I'm just LOVING the season!!! The dancers are SO good and so freaking GOOD-LOOKING i swear. Anyway, I found these 2 videos that I just gotta point out. One is an actual competing piece, done by the couple who's performances have been just brilliant every time I see them: Katey and Joshua.Lovely couple and just so good. They did something that was a first on the show: A BOLLYWOOD DANCE. I personally hated the song, but, they did it masterfully well. Check it out.

Also, this was like apparently at the END of the whole season. The judge, who I'm assuming's like 50, actually performing and it was all I could do to concentrate on her dance cuz I was just staring at her LEGS! I'm pretty sure that the performance was her dream coming true cuz she was dancing with the most manly constestant that had been on the show, Dimitri so yeah but wow. She's just fantastic. Who knew those legs were under that table all this time! Enjoy!

love love
shini

Sad sad sad

Okay first of all, I'ms ure you've noticed that I haven't put up a picture of my lovely biscuits. I'm lazy. so yeah.

Anyway, have you ever wondered, assuming you've watched some Bollywood movies, how is it that the characters can fall in love SO FAST? And its not just the Hindi movies, but the Tamil ones too. I mean of course in a movie, months can pass, in a matter of minutes, but still. There ARE plots where 2 characters fall in love SO fast. I just realised how that's so amazing! I mean I personally have never felt that way about anyone (never had the chance), but, I would imagine that it would occur over some time. *shrugs* Makes you wish that the movie world were possible. The world of imagination where the awful reality is non-existant.

Also, have you had like any particular song that can make you sad, almost within a minute of hearing it? For me, since Hindi songs are my favourite, well most of them anyway, there are some Hindi songs that just hit me with sadness.

Jaoon Kahan-Billu Barber
Dhule Ka Sehra-Dhadkan
and most recently,
Tu Jaane Na-Ajab Prem Ki Gazab Kahani.

The last one, is the most potent. I swear. I mean love problems are like the most cliched and talked about in the world of Bollywood, but for some reason, this song just hits me so so hard the second I hear the singing. Its about the girl not knowing the guy's love. I'm not explaining it properly but EVERYTIME I hear it, I just feel sad.

Since misery loves company, I'll put it here for you guys.

Love love
shini

p.s. excuse the visuals, just listen

too much don't ya think?

A lot of people think talking about Hollywood and Bollywood is extremely shallow. Like people wouldn't be caught dead discussing the lives of the actors and actresses in these industries. I on the other hand, don't think so. Of course I do understand why people think its shallow. I mean technically, these people that we discuss, don't even know WE exist and also, their life is THEIR life. WE have no right discussing it because its got NOTHING to do with us. And its shallow because well, they're JUST actors. The don't actually DO anything that important you know?Not like doctors or engineers or even lawyers. And yet, they're paid SO much, just to "play pretend".

The above piece in red, is basically what intellectuals or wannabes anyway would say when people like me say "what's wrong about discussing the lives of these actors in Hollywood and Bollywood?". You THINK that you're making me feel stupid when I don't join you with your spirited discussions about the economic situation of the world, the APEC summit, the various situations around the world regarding yet another country not getting along with some other country and etc. What you don't realise is that actually, just because I don't join in with your dicussions, doesn't mean I'm not aware. I agree that yes, I'm probably not as intellectual as you are; that my interests aren't as high-brow as yours are. That doesn't make me DUMB. I DO have interest in world affairs. The fact that I'm in the arts faculty should already give you a hint. You can't be in the arts fac and not be interested in world affairs. I mean I had even planned on majoring in Political science. I just either haven't come up to date on the various PROBLEMS of the world or I jsut choose to focus on the more frivolous things in life because life is stressful enough as it is for me to try and solve the world's issues by arguing with YOU about them.

So when I mention something about the Bollywood industry, some GOSSIP, don't dismiss me in your head as me being fluffy and frivolous. Everything has its function in the world, INCLUDING things like ridiculous Bollywood flims, and chick flicks/lit. Worse still, you dismiss me in you head as being silly, but in conversation, you still smile and try and engage me in another world affair. I might be showing my age when I start blabbering about some actor doing something, but at least I HAVE an interest in SOMETHING that other people can relate to. Cuz sometimes you gotta have neutral conversation topics lying your brain, like the ChrisBrown/Rihanna story cuz not everyone is going to be like me(someone who tries to follow your conversation and provide appropriate comments), and soon people will stop trying to talk to you cuz it just requires too many brain cells.

You KNOW what I mean.

Anyway, now that I've gotten THAT off my chest, I'd just like to mention something that I noticed. For some reason, I've been seeing a lot of Bollywood movie stars on the small screen. DOING ADVERTISEMENTS. Yes. Its some trend I think that's going round. Which I personally do not approve of. Why you ask? Well, it takes away jobs for actors out there who DO need the money, unlike the Bollywood stars. Let me name the ones I've noted.
Anusha Sharma(the most recent I've noticed)
Katrina Kaif
Rani Mukherjee
Kajol
Deepika Padukone
Shah Rukh Khan
Aamir Khan
Vidya Balan
Hrithik Roshan
and that Aladin girl(I don't know her name cuz I haven't watched the movie yet and she's NEW)

Now don't you think that's odd? I mean they appear ALL the time. And the advertisements arne't even anything special, except for the appearence of the stars(with the exception of Hrithink Roshan's one of course) Cuz normally, the adverts in the Hindi channels are exceptionally entertaining as I've mentioned, but now they've dropped their quality, just because they've got some star?
*shakes head* Terrible. No excuse. It should actually be even more entertaining, cuz they're supposedly better actors, hence able to do more complex acting. Unless you're telling me there's a derth of actors in India? Which is just such a ridiculous concept. SO yeah. anyway, that's all I really wanted to say. So ciao!

love love
shini

A first

HEY HEY HEY!!! Guess what I did TODAY???

A clue: it is FIRST for me. Not a very good clue I suppose cuz I haven't had a lot of firsts.

Fine, I tell you.

I BAKED ALL BY MYSELF!!!!

I have baked before, like chocolate chip cookies for valentine's day in j2 i think? some people might remember. thought probably not. anyway, it doesn't count, cuz Di was still in the kitchen, baking with me and she also helped me. THIS time, I was alone in the kitchen and I DID IT. I mean, okay, luckily my mother came home in time to tell me when to take out the biscuits, but hello? baby steps kay, baby steps. I will post a picture of my wonderful achievement tmr.

Most people are probably wondering, what's the big deal about me baking? That obviously means that YOU don't talk or listen to me enough.

I am not good with hot items. I'd rather not go NEAR a stove or an OVEN, though an oven is less intimidating than the damn stove. If I wanted, I could try and psycho-analyse this fear.

I would say that BOTH my parents, are fabulous cooks. My mother was brilliant first, then she taught my dad. He found that HE had a knack for it and made it his hobby. It helped that people constantly praised him for his wonderful cooking and its sort of a novelty that the dad cooks in the house, and the mum doesn't right? Especially in an Indian household. So naturally, us kids are sucked into the kitchen quite often. Made to chop veggies, stir curries or whatever, flip stuff. That sort of thing. Before the maid left, we didn't enter the kitchen very often. After she left, I was always there, washing up.
That was my main job see, washing the dishes. Di had to dry and put them away. The thing is, how did the fear or more like aversion to the stove and oven come about? Maybe its because I felt and still feel that my dad had very high standards for food. Both my parents have high standards for food. Also, maybe the heat of the stove and the noise, makes me extra stressed, cuz anything can go wrong and I JUST don't like the idea of wasting food because it tastes bad. I dread the day when I have to learn cooking from my dad. It would just make me hate cooking all the more. My mum's a better teacher in cooking, or baking which is her first love. Which is probably why I take to baking better than cooking. Its more of an exact science. Which makes me less stressed. Its like oven=mum, stove=dad. Ya know?

As it is, I don't like hot things, as I've said before, and both are very very hot. But of the two, If I had to choose, I'd take the oven. Not as unpredictable. I know I've GOT to learn some cooking eventually. Like basic Indian, and the dishes that I like. I mean have you ever heard of an indian girl who couldn't cook? Of course, i hope I wouldn't HAVE to cook and just make my dear future husband cook(should he exist), but one must assure the future mother-in-law that her dearest son doesn't STARVE, though the fact that he's perfectly welcome to cooking for himself would never cross her mind la. At least I can already clean the house, which is good cuz I'm NOT getting a maid. This post seems to be going in another direction, which is not my intention. This other direction shall be explored another day.

Anyway, going back to my original spiel, I WILL learn how to cook. But slowly. This is already an achievement in itself right?

love love!
shini

I got this e-mail, a description of various zodiacs, specifically for women, withe the What's Your Rashee theme. This was Scorpio. As in me. So, tell me if you think anything's true. Though personally, the whole "house being spic and span" and the "great food and coffee" is waaaaaaayyyy off mark.

Scorpio Woman(24th October to 22nd November)

The beauty of a Scorpio woman is exceptional, mysterious and totally magnetic. She knows that and is proud of herself. She will control her wish to dominate and will let a man lead in a relationship, atleast during courtship. She knows how to hypnotize a man and gets successful, more often than not. Don't expect a Scorpio female to rush into your arms in front of a thousand people and shout her feelings at the top of her voice. Instead, she will come close to you, glance at you in a sensual way and whisper the most romantic words in a seductive tone.

If you are not sincere with your feelings, don't even try to get close to a Scorpio girl. With those beautiful, penetrating eyes of hers, she can read exactly what is on your mind. She can easily make out your real intentions, so Don't Flirt. It will amount to insulting her and I assure you, insulting her is not at all good for your health. Even when her tone is soothing, her disposition kind and her smile generous, she can be planning the most powerful retaliation. When a Scorpio woman is insulted or gets hurt, her fury knows no bounds.

Then, she can become the most hard-hearted and most sarcastic person on this earth. If she loves with fierce devotion, she hates with devastating malice. If you are really in love with her, then you need to know more about her. She has a very hypnotic gaze and the moment her eyes meet your, you will go tumbling down in her deep passion. Being noticed by a Scorpio female definitely gives a boost to a man's ego. She needs a man who is stronger than she is and weakness in him won't get her sympathy at all.

He will be expected to behave like a real man, who can dominate her and make her proud. At the same time, he should respect her individuality. He should be better looking than average, with an intellect, philosophical and totally masculine. He must also be ambitious and able to handle tough situation with poise. After she gets committed, a Scorpio female will shower you with all her love and attention. Her whole life will start revolving around you and she will be extremely loyal and exceedingly passionate.

She is passionate with everything that is related to her. It is almost impossible for her to have neutral feelings. Either she will deeply cherish or fiercely hate. If any of the feelings are not experienced, she will become completely indifferent towards it. Scorpio women, however, never let these feelings show. Her expression will always remain neutral, betraying nothing. Her anger is very bad and it's better to get out of her way when it gets out of hand. Her characteristics profile will make her storehouse of secrets, but people wouldn't know any of hers.

Her personal life will be out of bounds for everyone. At the same time, she will never tell the secrets that have been confided in her, not even to you. Even with you, she will have a private part and its better not to pry. That does not mean she is dishonest. Infact, she will be so brutally honest that, at times, she may hurt people in the process. Like a typical Scorpio, she will choose her friends very carefully and the credible ones will remain with her throughout her life. She will never maintain a relationship with unworthy people.

Determination and will power are her basic personality traits. She can use them anytime to come out of anything that is negative. If you have been able to win the true love of a Scorpio female, you can be sure you will never feel lonely again. She will be totally devoted to you and even if you two don't get married for any reasons beyond your control, her love for you will not change. She is one of those who believe in the phrase 'Till Death Do Us Apart'. Rather than overshadowing her husband, she believes in supporting him.

'Behind every successful man, there is a woman'; this idiom is perfect in case of the husband who has a Scorpio wife. For her, the future, the happiness and the dreams of her husband hold the supreme importance. She will always defend him fiercely in public and won't take nicely to anyone taking advantage of him. She will always encourage him to reach for the stars, build his courage and never let him turn back from midway. Scorpio women love their homes and keep them spic and span.

Now comes the dangerous part. A Scorpio girl is extremely jealous and fiercely possessive of her loved ones. She is prone to suspicions; so don't give reasons to be doubtful of you. On the other hand, you will have to control your jealousy, since she will be attracting a lot of members of the opposite sex. She also dislikes being possessed by anyone, including you. In such a scenario, just remember that a Scorpio woman will always be loyal and devoted to you, even in the worst of circumstances.

And then, you know you cannot leave her and it is better to adjust to such a trifle thing. Nobody walks away from a Scorpio, right? As far as money is concerned, she will enjoy it whether she saves it in a piggy bank or splurges it on luxurious things. She is very conscious of her social standards and will never compromise in case of status. She likes power and will sacrifice money and many other things for it. She seems to be very practical, but inside she is very emotional. Like all Scorpios, she will not see any viewpoint in case of her own emotions.

A Scorpio female has a sense of fairness and justice. If you don't wish her good morning one day after a fight, she will do the same for the next four days. The same goes for generosity also. If you do one kind deed for her, she will do four in return. As a mother, she will extremely possessive of her children and will care for them. However, she may not express her love openly and this is something you will have to teach her. She will make them independent, fair, strong and proud of themselves, the way she is of them. She will encourage them to develop their innate talents and make sure they don't go unnoticed.

A Scorpio woman can drown you in her passion. But then, she can also bring you to safety when the raft becomes too dicey. She can provide you her calm and steady support in the worst of circumstances. Once you win her love, you will never be lonely again. Your food will be perfectly baked and she will grind fresh coffee for you. You will always come back to a spotless home, radiating with the aura of her magnetic personality, the charm of her deep beauty and the warmth of her everlasting love!

love love!

Tons to talk about!

Okay, so I just gotta write this post as fast as my slightly-too-long-but-then-again-quite-perfect-length nails will allow me to, otherwise all my thoughts, will DISAPPEAR.
So first, I just gotta say that I am TOTALLY in love with this advertisement.

Yeap, you heard me,(well read me), I'm in LOVE with an advertisement. its this advert, on zee movie theatre channel 150, see? So of COURSE the adverts are going to be fab-u-lous right? Anyway, this is the newest Reliance ad, with Hrithik Roshan and there's just something about it that I just love! I love the tunes, which my mother said is actually Bach's, I love the little dance and I love his look! I actually get a little happier whenever it happens to come on. Some might think that's pathetic with a capital P, but that's just the way I feel right NOW! I'm gonna post the ad up yea? then I'll talk about something else that's on my mind. Dammit, I can feel my thoughts slipping away into that abyss, where it will only appear again when something else stimulates my mind. Oh well,*shrugs*


Now onto another thing that's on my mind.
I had previously never EVER watched WWE, you know, wrestling? I had always thought it was barbaric and ridiculous and just a violent piece of nonsense(no offense to those fans out there). However, since I had begun to enjoy soccer more and even the NBA(which by the way I have completely lost touch of, cuz of school now), I had become more open minded about sports. Just a teeny tiny bit more open minded. So I thought I should actually give it a try right?

Well, what I realised, when I watched WWE, for like 20 to 30 minutes, is that A) The sport is complete bs, because the moves are SO fake and practiced and pathetic that it really is no use for me to watch it because I couldn't understand why such strong and buff men and women would want to do FAKE moves and B) I am actually quite a violent person myself. I would rather they actually and properly beat people up, with actual bruises and blood than see this "acting" with all their baseless bravado. That sounds quite bad huh? I mean I don't discount the fact that choreographing all those moves and yes, the word is choregraphing, is difficult, what more actually performing them. It must require a lot of muscle control to look like you're hitting hard without actually laying a scratch on the guy. Plus they gotta act all meana nd angry towards each other all the time, which can't be good for their blood pressure, even if it IS just acting.

However, that's just what it is, acting. or dancing even. NOT wrestling. Then how does one DETERMINE a winner? Do they decide beforehand, that oh, okay this week I'm gonna win, so next week will be your turn. And what, at the end of the season or whatever, they decide that okay, YOU can win this season, but next season will be this other guy's win. Cuz everything's fake and practiced anyway. I think though that I'm gonna to do more research into this area before I can make ANYMORE judgements, cuz technically, I'm still quite ignorant about all this.

I had wanted to talk about something else at this point, but now I just either can't remember or I'm too tired and have had enough of typing to blog further. So enjoy the advert and I hope you keep reading!

love love
shini

Killer bus

Have you ever had the feeling that you're going to die, when you're travelling on public transport? I'm not talking about public transport in other countries where maybe the transport system is not so developed. I'm talking about spore's transport system. Today I rode on the bus home and I swear I saw my life flash before my eyes (not to be cliche or anything). The bloody thing was going so so fast, especially down slopes I was just waiting for the sickening crash against a tree or something. My hands were just ready to be flung on face to protect it! *shudders* I mean the tires were actually SCREECHING, and this is a big vehicle you know.

Thankfully I got off in one whole piece, as the damn thing screeched off. Before this, I had only been in a taxi that went that fast, or faster. At least with the bus, its gotta stop at bus stops. With a taxi on the other hand, it only has to stop at red lights, and it might not even do so either if it manages to beat them! I was practically crying in the back seat and the driver raced to my destination. Racing with WHO I don't know. You have no idea how hard I prayed while I was in that taxi for those few minutes. Sigh. I hope I never am in such situations. I mean I hate being late, but I don't want to worry for and pray for my life while I'm travelling WITHIN my own country on my way somewhere that's probably insignificant. urgh. Okay, enough procrastinating(I say this now as I am thinking about watching a re-run of friends), I NEED to come up with a stupid NEW thesis statement for my ps essay. yes THAT, essay, that I had been complaining about a month ago. Only this time its not the draft but the real thing, worth 20%. Sigh. Help. ciao.

love
shini

interesting no?

Hey these are just some videos I found, of course the dance one is recommended by someone else la. Enjoy peeps!

Notice, the dancers are russian. Cuz I myself was wondering how indians could be SO fair. I mean not that they're dark la,of course, but that you know her and their features, looked a little different. and yet, she's lip-synching like Karishma Kapoor! So cute and AMAZING performance I swear. They're so precise and PERFECT. And I LOVE the principal dancer's skirt! Anyway, yeah, hope you like the videos!

love love
shini

Sanya and Sarah

I've talked about these 2 before, but never put up a picture of them. My darling "nieces" Sarah(left) and Sanya(right). The one in pink, Sanya, is older, I think by like a minute. Adorable lovelies, they're 2 years, old. They chatter when you get them started and really make you run, but oh my gosh, they're so entertaining and gorgeous. Hopefully when they're cousin comes down with her mummy, I can debut her picture here as well.

I LOVE THAT THIS HAPPENED IN SPORE, but i was sad that i wasn't there

Just What I Needed!

If I haven't said here, how much I LOVE Russell Peters, well then, I LOVE Russell Peters!! Like seriously. I'm sitting here, TRYING to do my essay which is due in like 14 hours, (tues, 4pm) and am looking at 1500-200 words, of which about 400 have been written and not very well I might add, and i come across this clip of his, some old work which I haven't seen, and it cheers me up to no end! I swear, if he comes to Spore again, I will MAKE SURE that I go and watch him. I don't care what my MOTHER says. Sigh. So here are 2 old clips, that whose material you may not have seen. Lots of love!

Clarification

I'd like it to be known that any reviews, or recommendations of restaurants or shops or movies or plays, at all, are coming from my own enthusiasm and experience for the product/f&b outlet/form of entertainment. I have not and probably WILL NEVER receive any gifts or money from the above-written-type-of places. So I just want to be clear on that. As I just read in the newspaper that a fine will be imposed on bloggers who write reviews and received gifts or money for them. So I just want to make sure I'm not going to be accused of something I did not do.

love love

shini

parenthood?

This is going to be a quick one(hopefully) because I gotta go and finish ALL my studying for my soico mid-term on wed. Because I have to do cleaning tomorrow and some errands and yeah. Okay, I just had this thought that happened to be floating around.

I think being a parent, or more specifically in my case, a mother is A LOT of responsibility. I mean carrying the child for 9 months is hard, but after you squeeze him/her(hopefully a her) out, then you gotta RAISE her! I mean, I don't think I'd like all the cleaning up all the constant pooping and the worrying about every single bodily fluid, but I'll get used to it I'm sure. Its the learning part,and the development part that I'm worried about. Like, as an infant, when would you have to stop going to its every cry, and let it learn and what things to teach it without making it obvious that you're teaching her. I know I'm only a kid and I've got a looooooonnnggg way to go before even THINKING bout kids, but actually, if I hope to have at least ONE kid before I'm 30 (doing a breast cancer assignment made me worried), then its not that far away. I suppose this kind of thinking makes me appreciate my OWN mother, and like how on earth she managed to raise one kid in the uni, and the other (hopefully) ON the way to uni. Sigh. Now I feel all mushy, I'm gonna go and study. AND finish my work. even if it kills me. OH DAMN, tmr, got early lecture. MUST WAKE UP. okay, bye!

love love

shini

the Fun theory

Thanks S!!

P.S. I'm drinking eldeflower liquer as I type this and it is lovely!

First of all, YAY 150 POSTS!!!! I gotta be happy about that cuz I don't know how to see number of views.

Second of all, I wanted to recommend this book. I really love it and I suddenly thought of it as I was reading Franz Fanon's work, about decolonialisation. Its technically a fictional book, but I think the writer is actually talking about her life. Its called Don't Lets Go to the Dogs Tonight by Alexandra Fuller. I've read it and re-read it a number of times, cuz I really really like it. If any of you have the time, do read it. kays?

loves

Lesson Learnt

I learned a lesson today. I learned that I really really have to sleep early if I need to wake up early and that stressing myself up to ensure that I DO wake up. I thought that since I had been sleeping at like 3 and I could wake up at 8, before, means I could do it again. Obviously I didn't realise that this sort of lack of sleep, builds up and will hit you when you when you can afford it the least. Today I had a midterm at 10am, and I WOKE UP at 10.30am. I started FREAKING OUT immediately and swearing of course. Unfortunately I couldn't MISS the midterm because its like 30% so I HAD to somehow go and do the damn test. Also unfortunately, I had no money, so I couldn't call for a cab, so I had to run and catch the bus! I got to the Lt at like 11 and practically BEGGED the lecturer to let me take the test. I didn't mind that I wouldn't have extra time or that I couldn't do the listening portion, I just wanted to try and DO the rest of the test. Thank god I have a tutor who's an ANGEL I swear! So I did the test the BEST I could, even though I had been studying till late last night, I hadn't managed to finish the last set of lecture notes on morphology so I guessed as much as I could. Sigh. at least I tried. and I even managed to finish all the questions too. so yeah.

Urgh. I've got to now go and charge my laptop and either print out the readings for ps tutorial tmr, or read and write notes. and EACH IS like DAMN long you know! Sigh, better get started.

love love

shini

I know people might say that, "omg, get over it, he's gone,so you should move on", but I JUST found this, and really liked it so I'mma gonna put it up here.


oh and one more thing. I remembered how when we were younger, and there was this channel that showed the British programme Goodness Gracious Me! and my mum, dad, sis and i would all squeeze into my parents' bed and watch together. It was hilarious and I absolutely LOVED it. At that time, me and Di didn't know anyone who watched it too, so we didn't really talk about it with other people. Kind of like inside joke. Now, of course, I think more people I know have heard of the show, even though its not being shown regularly on a channel. I'd like it to be know that I HAVE HEARD OF THE SHOW AND WATCHED IT A SUPER DUPER LONG TIME AGO. So its not a new thing to me. I was gonna put up a clip, but u can find one easily enough. just type in the name. However, I must say that its nice to be remeinded of the show. Makes me remember all the other shows that I loved, that well, ended and disappeared.

loves
shini

the future?

I've been feeling a little depressed lately. And its got to do with the fact that I had chosen to do Political Science as my major. I mean I haven't actually declared but everyone goes into uni, with some idea of your choice of major and mine was PS. However, now when I'm actually DOING the module, as in the intro module, I feel like I'm not good enough to do well in it. I feel I'm not good enough to do ANY module for that matter. I'm not confident of ANY subject and I just don't feel good enough. And that's frustrating you know?

I don't like feeling this way and yet I can't DO anything about it. I'm trying to write my PS essay draft and whatever I HAVE written, somehow looks so juvenile and "small girl". I feel like the information's wrong, the tone seems tentative and I don't really know how to correct it. And while I'm writing, I have to remember to put in the right citations at the right junctures. AND think of examples too! I mean this will be my term essay, so I gotta do well in it, but I just don't see that happening. I hate that my self-esteem seems non-existent, or at least the level seems so low it can't even BE SEEN but I don't know how to pull it up. And nobody likes a sad low, constantly demeaning herself person. Its extremely unattractive. So I try to put up a fake persona, that's confident and apparently, it works, but its harder and harder to put up every time. I hardly EVER have good, real, confident days and its not like self-esteem is only attributed to this feeling of not being smart enough either. Lots of things affect self-esteem; don't get me STARTED on my appearance! I really gotta stop whining on this blog, cuz then people ( the few who regularly check it out) will stop and that doesn't do ANY good for said self-esteem. I think I'm gonna shut up now and TRY and finish fleshing out my draft as well as putting in the citations. Tomorrow I'll edit and put the citations in-text. Gonna go now and well, bye

a sad sad shini

Grey's Anatomy

The new season has started. I had almost refused to watch the last season cuz it drove me nuts, cuz it was so filled with death and sadness and problems, even though I loved it so much. In the end of course I did watch it, cuz, how could I not right? Been watching EVER SINGLE EPISODE, since it started. But I hate what the show does to me. Almost every season, there'll be a whopper of an incident. Usually some tragedy. Which usually ends up with me sobbing my eyes out for over an hour. And I hate what it does to me cuz seriously, I look terrible and my sister looks at me like I'm a wuss, but I just can't help crying whenever I see someone else crying so much, which ALWAYS happens on the show. They're just too good actors!

I'm not afraid to admit it, that I do cry when I watch some shows, because some things just sad. I almost burst into tears, everytime I come even the teensiest bit close to imagining my loved ones passing away. Tears are coming into my eyes as I type this, because of course the thought has been put into my head, of constantly missing them and wanting to talk to them, but not being able to. Oh my god, this is pure torture and by right, I shouldn't be doing this. Everyone's fine and well and healthy and I have other more pressing matters to worry about, like essays and mid-terms but I just can't help it. I just don't know how people do it. How they move on with their lives, without being able to talk to that person who left you. Maybe that's what Sylvia Plath felt like when her father died. I wouldn't know, I don't know her very well, nor do I know her work. I didn't understand at first, but I think I'm beginning to, a little. But still, that one issue eludes me, how they move on, when they want to talk to that person so badly. I don't think I'll every figure it out, which isn't good because eventually, people pass away. They say only 2 things in life are certain, death and taxes. So I'll have to figure it out eventually, but I don't think I have to right now. right now, I gotta go and sleep and start writing that essay draft ASAP. I know I can do it. I just gotta start. I mean I already got some books and other resources. Just gotta start. And remove that block that's somehow been put there, god knows by who and just START.

Good Night.

shini

P.S. Oh by the way, in case you're wondering, yes, I did just watch the first 2 episodes of the new season 6 of Grey's Anatomy. Check out greatstufftv.com if you want to too. Damn, got EL lecture tmr, must be ready to not understand! sigh. bye!

You know why Shah Rukh Khan is so loved by fans? Its because he's smart enough to choose roles where he's depicted as the swoon-worthy hero and he knows that he can DEFINITELY do romantic roles. If you think about it right, SRK's a very GOOD actor, because all the roles he portrays in the different movies, are so so so completely different from how he is as a person, and if you think about it, if you can portray someone so far from your own personality, you must be a pretty good actor. The annoying thing is that I don't like him as a person, but the thing is, he's such a fab actor that I've seen almost all his movies and i've seen HIS movies the most.

You know something else, India's advertisements are damn exciting la. I don't even mind that there are so many advertisements cuz they're so entertaining!

Dance groups that ar the BEST i've seen

And can i just say i LOVE SIMON COWELL'S SMILE!!! Like seriously, everytime I'd see it, I'd smile too. Sigh. weird I know.


oh, and the winner, who was FREAKING UNREAL!!!!


as well as this perfectly WONDERFUL group, called Flawless.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ON6pMTZAlVk

AGAIN, the request to embed was disabled. okay, now i go.

Dancer boy

Just found out abt this kid. Totally not my fault I'm so late, I can't follow Britain's got Talent. But it really AMAZES me how much talent Britain actually has!And I don't mean it for like as a snide comment for Britain, I just mean that compared to the US, Britain's more understated and less showy. You KNOW what I mean. So yeah, its nice to see, amazing talent coming from there, and being broadcasted around the world. Anyway, ENJOY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HJAnrwCRyU

Sorry peeps, the person who uploaded it, disabled the embed request. So you gotta check it out via the url above. Anyway, this guy's called Aidan Davis, and he's like 11, well he was at the time of his audition, in the video, its the semi-finals and he's 12 for some reason. I tell you something, you can't compare him and George Sampson, cuz they're both very different and well, yeah.
I did notice however that this guy's an excellent performer, like the whole confidence package and he's properly putting on a performance with the facial expressions and all that. Plus, he's going to be GOR-GEOUS when he grows up, lemme tell you that. I can detect his potential.
okay, gotta go. ciao!

love love
shini

It's in the job description

For some reason I've been thinking about Hollywood and Bollywood actors and how they always talk about lack pf privacy and they complain about always having their pictures taken and all that. And I thought, well, they shouldn't BE complaining because all that is in their job description!

Let me elaborate. See these actors and actresses, actually DEPEND on the public liking and loving them to determine their success. If they're not well-received by the public, they're movies may not do well. So, they will then do everything in their power to get the public to love them and to gain fans. Naturally, then when they have collected a fan base, their fans will WANT to know all kinds of stuff about them and to have many pictures of them, because that's how idolising people works. This is where the media comes in. They dig up information, interview the stars, capture they're every move with a camera, FOR THE FANS. So really, I don't see how these actors and actresses can gripe about the lack of privacy, unless of course the paparazzi sneak into their homes and take pictures of them in the toilet or bedroom of course. But , yeah, generally, whenever they make an appearence outside their home, like to get a Coke or something, they should expect fans and paparazzi snapping their pictures. After all, its always better to BE talked about, whether good or bad stuff then not to be talked about at all. I mean, if you're forgotten, I think it'd be hard to make money in this business.

Think about it: Why do people WANT to see their name in the paper or their face in a magazine? One DOES get a thrill from having people you don't know personally recognise you, cuz that means you're "popular" and "well-known". As much as you guys out there deny it, its true. Even for me! So next time you hear stars complaining about mobs and no privacy, think about how this is all part of the job and how they should just shut up, grin and bear it. I know I will.

shini

P.S. I'm NOT being a sourpuss or bitter. I just think you should know what you get yourself into when you DO anything, especially your JOB. And not complain, cuz you're being paid. Especially when their extra perks of the job are like so much better than any ordinary person's bonuses.

A fun song, portryaing many different couples. I had talked about this movie Salaam-e-Ishq in a previous post, but I don't think I had put up the video. So, yeah check it out.

love love

Poor thing....

I think that there should be a sign in my condo that says "Warning! Snails crossing after the rains", just like the "Beware of snakes" sign.

Now you must be thinking I live in some jungle area or something right? Well I don't. However, within my condo, there's this path, that leads to this bridge over the canal and the path continues to to the main road where there's a restaurant and on this path to the bridge, there's like always snails trying to cross it but never make it because they get smooshed by people. I swear that path's like Suicide Trail for snails. The poor lighting doesn't help either because since people can't see at night, they end up crushing the snails. Even I've accidentally stepped on an already crushed snail and I feel so immensely bad!!!! So I really think that there should be a sign or something.

Also, something else I wanna talk about is the incident at the VMAs involving Kanye West and Taylor Swift. I KNOW its been talked about to death and I'm quite late, but better late then never! So yeah, first of all, I don't understand WHY he did it. I mean, Beyonce won best video OF THE YEAR. Couldn't he wait? I don't understand the logic behind the act. Seriously. And secondly, the REASON noone's ever done that before is because its plain RUDE to go up and push aside the WINNER'S moment and say someone else's video was brilliant, implying that the winner didn't deserve to win, which is just TACTLESS. Thirdly, people seem to forget that Taylor's only 18, and hasn't been doing this for very long, so winning that must have been amazing for her and to just shove her aside is cruel. If you're a seasoned winner, its a different matter. Sitll RUDE mind you, but not as cruel. And lastly,apologising AFTER you did the incredibly stupid act and basically lost respect from a LOT of ppl, doesn't do anything, even if you go on a tv show and look like you're going to cry. Did nobody stop the dude? Beyonce herself was shocked that he did it and didn't look pleased that he was praising her video at all. Sigh. Poor Taylor.

Oh and can I just say I LOVE Beyonce's Single Ladies, I think its going to be my anthem! hahahha, but really and the dancing is SO CUTE! And oh, I LOVE her body!

I so wish I could go for her concert, cuz I mean how many times is she going to come down to lil ol' Spore anyway?
Urgh no money!

shini

Coincidence!

OMG. I have found something out and I just gotta write it here. Nothing scandalous just a HUGE coincidence.

Thespis, a theatre group in NUS, I think those doing Theatre Studies as a major, are doing.......................*drum roll please* Descendants of a Eunuch Admiral!!!!!!!

Those of who weren't from NY or you were but just don't remember, NY Drama club did this play and another original one called Walls LAST YEAR!!! Isn't that AMAZING? I know it cuz they sent the monologue required for audition to everyone and when i saw the title of the attachment as Descendants, I was like, waaaaait a minute.....and then once I scrolled down the piece, I totally recognised the speech! I was in crew, but we had to be there for the rehearsals so I definitely remember it. Ain't that just so cool! By the way, the play was written by the late Kuo Pao Kun, like oneof the founding fathers of Singapore theatre. He founded The Substation, in case you didn't know. I actually know this because I did my PI on him for PW waaaaaaayyyy back in 2007.

I'm just amazed. at the coincidence. sadly, a number of the actors from our version are still IN NY, except 2. One's in army and the other, i'm not sure. Oh wells. A nice distraction for me for a while. Back to work.

shini

Happiness

Don't be mislead by the title; I'm not happy. Well not yet anyway. A little stressed, because my first mid-term is tomorrow for political science and I really don't want to fail my very first mid-term, just like I don't want to do badly for my very first assignments!
So yeah, I'm not actually happy per se.

HOWEVER, I have to put this on my blog.

If Shahid Kapoor and Rani Mukherjee ever come to Singapore, I will MAKE SURE that I meet them and either get a photo or a signature or like a touch from BOTH of them. I swear. I LOVE Shahid Kapoor and Rani!!! He's just sooooooooooo ooooooohhhhhhh*shivers*!!!!! I LOVE his smile and his dimples (dimples just do it for me, really) and his body and just EVERYTHING! And the way he dances!!!! omg like wow.

And i just LOVE Rani! I'm so glad she's back, looking fab of course, and anyway I've always liked her since forever so yeah!

So you can guess that I really really can't wait for their new movie, Dil Bole Hadippa! Omg I really can't wait. I think I'll even buy the vcd, if I really like the movie, which is what I do these days; I'll buy a vcd if I really really like the movie and I have a feeling that I will. Sigh. I'm going to watch the episode of them on 10 ka Dum. My hindi's like non-existent but I can still sort of understand and still enjoy it so yeah, ciao babes.

love love

shini

Wouldn't I love to see this in person!

I just had to put this up when I discovered it. Obviously I've been living under a rock and found out about flashmobs only NOW. But then again, better late then never right?

Long Long to go....

I take it back I take it back I really really take it back.

I take it AAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL back. Promise promise.

I AM extremely worried about my assignments.
I HAVE suddenly realised that DR is frighteningly close and I simply cannot perfect(forget perfect, more like finish ON TIME) the 3 2-feet chakkas.
I also HAVE realised that my mid-terms are immediately after my non-existent break, and so are my essays.
I really really really REALLY don't want to fail my soci and genes and soc assignments and my ps test this week. I don't want to FAIL anything. In fact I really really want to get As. It'll be a nice change from always getting Bs my whole life. I think after A's I not only got complacent but also stupider.
A TERRIBLE COMBINATION. Lethal.

omg omg omg omg omg why am I stressing out so much, i'm only in 1st sem of 1st year, omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man I need to calm down. Even my birthday, next month isn't helping. Probably cuz I've got to get through like ALL my mid-terms, and assignments and even some essays before I can officially turn 19 and CELEBRATE. Damn that sucks.

Urgh. I'm going to bed. MUst take off make-up first.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY BABE!!!!!(you know who you are!)

love love

shini

R/s

I've just realised that the only time when I can read continuously is when either the material is fascinating, or when I have snacks to munch on. And I literally mean munch, and crunch. Nothing soft and mushy for me ( I don't like mushy stuff anyway). The good thing is that this excludes things like cookies, cakes, brownies and chocolate. The bad thing is that everything else, like potato chips, nuts, muruku, biscuits, and cucumber and whatever else is crunchy, is on that list. I have no idea what the hell is wrong with me but if I succumb to my "urges", I'm going to be like as wide as the freaking Grand Canyon!

Sigh.

I shall try to abstain. I'm feeling stressed already!

love love

shini.

P.S. I need need need need to dance. DESPERATELY

sorry abt the video overlapping. thought i did it correctly this time. oh wells*shrugs*.

omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg!

Sigh. This post may not be very clear. As in, you might not know what's going on. This is fuelled purely by emotions. And whatever is goig on in my head, is exactly what's written here.

ooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*shivers*

You can probably guess that the weird parts of the post are reactions to whatever I'm doing/thinking of right now.

1. I'm damn worried about my genes and society assignment. but actually less worried now, cuz i'm almost finished with it.

2. I'm even MORE worried abotu my sociology assignment, because I have no idea what concept to use,and HOW to find an article to evaluate. And of course WHAT THE HELL TO WRITE. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3. There's that political science test NEXT week, and oh did I mention the deadlines for the above 2 assignments are ALSO next week?

4. Of course, we must also prepare for tutorials, and whoopee, gotta come up with SOMETHING for south asian studies.

5. And there's dance. I'm getting A LEETLE BETTER, but still, not perfect. those damn chakras, the 2 feet ones and oh! the fact that cuz i'm short, i'm leading lines, so i can't be too fast or in the wrong place?!! and when I worry, about it, ppl tell me to chill?? Babes, I can't chill about this! I don't care, I'm practicing without glasses from now on. From saturday onwards.

6. DIWALI CLEANING AND BAKING.
need I say more? the other tests are after the break, and the other assignments. but i'm refusing to think about them right now. October is going to be HELL. sadly, its my birthday month too. oh wells.

I need to get a planner. or smth with dates and spaces to write stuff down for those dates.

I'm running out of comfortable footwear. I'm so not kidding. one pair broke today. 2 pairs will break soon. my black flats are useless. so i've only got my clogs, browns and blues. all are covered. Sigh. must go shopping. On a completely unrelated note, did u know that a mummy rat can influence whether or not a baby rat will turn out anxious either nurturing too much or too little? After the week of nurturing, the baby stays that way. cool huh?

okay, i'm going off to take out my make-up (yes I wear eye-shadow and liner to school. the shadow is to mask my not straight liner lines.) and sleep. Cuz its nearly 2. I shall watch the highlights for the eng vs croatia match tmr. byess

shini

oh! oh! OH! My new fav song. Don't laugh.
I CAN'T WAIT TO WATCH!
love love!

Question: Can you only call it teen angst till you are a teen?
If so, does, nineTEEN count?

Then I suppose after you go PAST that last teen year, you can't have all that angst, cuz then you're being immature right? Then you should GROW UP and suck it UP?

So is there a term for "teen angst" for young adults? Or are young adults not allowed it?


By the way, these are actual questions. So feel free to post comments and answer them. thanks

shini

Teen Angst (urgh)

God.

I've just behaved like a class one SPOILED BRAT.

Like seriously. I'm really amazed at myself. She's probably extremely pissed at me now. And I really don't blame her. I didn't even know why I was going on, its like I was possessed by the "bad daughter" or something. Also, the "stupid daughter". I'll probably regret the snap decision I made, but after all that I'm definitely seeing it through. Its probably all for the best anyway, won't have any money for going out( I can see the future don't you know), and should probably save my already small store of energy for the dance performance coming up. (look above to see my thoughts about THAT subject)

ARGH. can't stand myself sometimes. So bloody moody;can't take it I tell you.

shini


P.S. on a happier note, I've discovered a quaint little website that's got pretty good writing(can u say intimidation on my end?), quirky little tidbits on various topics and a cute title.
Do visit it when you can, to check it out. www.pennysdaybook.com