Just realised that I've gone past 200 posts. Which is a LOT I think. Anyway, I was watching the video below and I realised that I didn't really dance it well. I think I may have forgotten that I was dancing for REAL or something because there wasn't any energy in the way I danced. I mean compared to some others, it was pretty obvious, at least to me. Which now I realise, made me regret it. Regret not dancing my best, even though its just some alumni thing. I mean I usually put my all on the stage when I have to. Its a new experience, regret on the stage, cuz usually, I prefer my performances to be perfect or as close to perfect as I can get it. I mean its the only area in my life that I can try and perfect. Indian dance is the ONE thing I'm good at I know. Even kathak, I bet if I went for dance classes every week at least and I performed annually like I did for bharatha natyam, I would probably be pretty good.

I'm not tooting my own horn. I still don't call myself a "dancer" because I don't FEEL like I am one. But I have to acknowledge that I mean I CAN at least do Indian dance. So yeah, new experience, regret. Then again, in a way, It was the first time that I really couldn't wait for the show to be over. Even for the NUS performances, when they ended, I felt a bit sad. But this one, (sorry honey!), I really couldn't wait for it to be over. Partly because of the "stress" of losing face, partly because of the costume issue, it just stopped being fun. Technically it was already a burden-ish, though I didn't realise it when I said yes, because of my deadlines that were ridiculously close to the Puyal day. Ultimately, I just don't enjoy the feeling of regret. EVER. but since I've always felt it with regard to exams and work, I'm used to it. But I'm not used to regretting it on the stage. Sigh.

One more paper to go and I'm here writing on the blog. Its like i WANT to fail or something.
Good luck shini