Hello hello children!
I know I've been MIA from this blog but let me just say that its not because i have nothing to write about but for some reason, I had this inertia to start writing. Strange I know but I finally felt that I should at least write about the new year and all that.
Personally I'm quite terrified about the new year starting. I have some things that I have to do in 2011 and that makes me apprehensive. There are quite a few things so let me elaborate.
1. I'm taking part in World MUN (Model UN) which is being hosted by NUS for the first time ever and I'm going to be one of the Singapore delegates. So I'll basically be interacting with various delegates, in meetings. Its a conference. I'm obviously terrified cuz if I have trouble talking in PS tutorial, how the HELL would I manage a whole bloody conference?! And yet, I know that if I prepare myself, I can do it. And its not like we're REALLY solving world problems, so yeah. Still scared though.
2. I have to get an internship during the summer break. Again, I'm quite worried about it cuz I don't have any working experience and I don't know if I can handle the jobs or not. But I have to do it and I know I can do it. So yeah, just apprehensive about that too.
3. My second year is ending. and I'm turning 21. It feels like I just only turned 20 and now I'm forced to become an adult. Like officially an adult. People say its no big deal turning 21, but it IS! I can't explain it la why I feel that way. And I don't think I'd be having a huge party by the way. I'm just not the sort. God knows my sister, mother, cousin, aunt and friends would feel that I should celebrate it though cuz all my cousins as far as I'm concerned have "celebrated" it. So, I'll have to be prepared to put up a good fight.
4. I'm going to start a diet of low carbs and regular exercise. To see if I really can lose weight or not. Of course, it will kill me, and I would be "plugged" into the laptop a lot more, cheering myself up with movies, shows, videos and music since food would no longer do it for me. I don't know how long I'd be able to do it cuz I'm not very disciplined when it comes to food. or anything really. so, we'll see how long I last, and how well I stick to it. Weirdly enough, even though its the first, I haven't actually started the diet. Thanks to my mother who bought oily but great indian food from Samy's yesterday, which we will be eating today. So, I'm just going to be like in a horrible mood for a while la.
so I'm just going to end off now, and happy new year lovlies!
shini
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Sometimes, I wish that I could stop thinking. That the voice in my brain, which is not some weird "voice in my head" thing but just my OWN voice would stop talking and thus basically thinking. Even when you THINK you're "stoning" or while you're watching tv where you think that your brain is "turned off" its not really. I mean OBVIOUSLY its not la, because then you'd be brain dead but there's no "hibernate" or "sleep" mode like a laptop. Even when you are sleeping, you're still thinking, but worse, in the form of dreams. And let me tell you, as I've said before, dreams can be exhausting too.
Then again, if you don't think, and if you're voice isn't always speaking, to yourself, then you'd be dead. It's probably a sign if the internal voice stops talking. You're probably near the end. So in a way, clearly its good that your head can't stop thinking and talking. Drives you nuts, but still. it'd be nice to put it on pause for a while at a time sometimes.
shini
Then again, if you don't think, and if you're voice isn't always speaking, to yourself, then you'd be dead. It's probably a sign if the internal voice stops talking. You're probably near the end. So in a way, clearly its good that your head can't stop thinking and talking. Drives you nuts, but still. it'd be nice to put it on pause for a while at a time sometimes.
shini
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Both ends of the scale
I've had a few things on my mind lately and at some point, I figured that I had to let it all out because then new topics and things can enter and be analysed in my head.
So here goes nothing.
First, this started with my dad telling me about this colleague of his. He had worked with her, previously and stuff and then I thought he was going to tell me something interesting about her, like at 50, she's getting married for the first time or something (don't laugh, I've gone for such a wedding; but it was my mum's friend). Well, I wasn't wrong, he did tell me something interesting about her, but on the other end of the scale.
She had passed on and that day was her final rites. He couldn't even go for them because it was already like 7 plus. The thing is, my dad usually goes for these things, if he knows about them.
She apparently had most of her family in Australia and like maybe one sister in Singapore. My dad didn't know about her passing because there wasn't even a mention in the obituary section of the newspaper. He said that because she's single, they want to just do the whole thing quickly and be done with it.
And I found that immensely sad and unjust. I mean everyone's passing is important. Therefore their last rites are just as important. And not putting it in the newspaper, prevents other people from saying goodbye one last time. Just because you're single, with no offspring, doesn't mean that people won't miss you. Of course there's a less negative way at looking how her relatives handled the situation but frankly I can't think of it. Which is why I put up on facebook a suggestion.
If you're going to be single for the rest of your life, then you must interact with your friends and friends' children. Have all kinds of friends and don't withdraw from the world. Otherwise, when you go, there'll be no one to remember you. My parents have some single friends, at this age. When they go, should they outlive my parents, I'll still definitely remember them. I may not have known them very well, but I'll remember how they interacted with me. So yes, just a note out there, Have many friends, meet them up, keep in contact and make your mark on your friends, because that may be the only way you can make your mark on the world.
Okay, now onto another topic.
oh crap, i've forgotten another thing I wanted to talk about.
Okay never mind.
Moving on....
I was thinking about Chick-lit stuff. You know like movies, and books? I'm a big fan of Chick-lit. I think I've even defended it before on this blog, or it might have been about hindi movies. Anyway, so you know I watche/read them.
Well lately I've been disappointed of them of late. I knwo that with fluffy material like that, if you read/watch enough of them, you can predict the ending. You KNOW who will end up with whom and what will happen. Its inevitable. And I used to be fine with that. But for some reason, its been bothering me. The predictability of such storylines is dare I say it, boring me and I've been thinking about taking a "sabbatical" from such material and focusing on perhaps, more serious fiction.
The thing is, I love love stories(despite my ring tone) and I love romance. The sweeping off of the lady's feet, the chemistry you can see between the characters, it all just thrills me and well, sort of gives me hope(though I KNOW no self-respecting Singaporean guy has no intention of embarrassing himself like that). So, what do I do?
As I think about write about this, I have the movie Easy A on download and I'm looking to find Post Grad online too, both real chick flicks. AND I'm excited to watch Band Baaja Baarat, a hindi lovestory/comedy soon.
Anyone got any suggestions?
So here goes nothing.
First, this started with my dad telling me about this colleague of his. He had worked with her, previously and stuff and then I thought he was going to tell me something interesting about her, like at 50, she's getting married for the first time or something (don't laugh, I've gone for such a wedding; but it was my mum's friend). Well, I wasn't wrong, he did tell me something interesting about her, but on the other end of the scale.
She had passed on and that day was her final rites. He couldn't even go for them because it was already like 7 plus. The thing is, my dad usually goes for these things, if he knows about them.
She apparently had most of her family in Australia and like maybe one sister in Singapore. My dad didn't know about her passing because there wasn't even a mention in the obituary section of the newspaper. He said that because she's single, they want to just do the whole thing quickly and be done with it.
And I found that immensely sad and unjust. I mean everyone's passing is important. Therefore their last rites are just as important. And not putting it in the newspaper, prevents other people from saying goodbye one last time. Just because you're single, with no offspring, doesn't mean that people won't miss you. Of course there's a less negative way at looking how her relatives handled the situation but frankly I can't think of it. Which is why I put up on facebook a suggestion.
If you're going to be single for the rest of your life, then you must interact with your friends and friends' children. Have all kinds of friends and don't withdraw from the world. Otherwise, when you go, there'll be no one to remember you. My parents have some single friends, at this age. When they go, should they outlive my parents, I'll still definitely remember them. I may not have known them very well, but I'll remember how they interacted with me. So yes, just a note out there, Have many friends, meet them up, keep in contact and make your mark on your friends, because that may be the only way you can make your mark on the world.
Okay, now onto another topic.
oh crap, i've forgotten another thing I wanted to talk about.
Okay never mind.
Moving on....
I was thinking about Chick-lit stuff. You know like movies, and books? I'm a big fan of Chick-lit. I think I've even defended it before on this blog, or it might have been about hindi movies. Anyway, so you know I watche/read them.
Well lately I've been disappointed of them of late. I knwo that with fluffy material like that, if you read/watch enough of them, you can predict the ending. You KNOW who will end up with whom and what will happen. Its inevitable. And I used to be fine with that. But for some reason, its been bothering me. The predictability of such storylines is dare I say it, boring me and I've been thinking about taking a "sabbatical" from such material and focusing on perhaps, more serious fiction.
The thing is, I love love stories(despite my ring tone) and I love romance. The sweeping off of the lady's feet, the chemistry you can see between the characters, it all just thrills me and well, sort of gives me hope(though I KNOW no self-respecting Singaporean guy has no intention of embarrassing himself like that). So, what do I do?
As I think about write about this, I have the movie Easy A on download and I'm looking to find Post Grad online too, both real chick flicks. AND I'm excited to watch Band Baaja Baarat, a hindi lovestory/comedy soon.
Anyone got any suggestions?
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Broke and Upset about it
Hello again children.
I thought I'd be fine with the whole being broke thing.
Unfortunately, I'm not.
There are simply too many things out there that I want to buy and that I supposedly "need" and people that I really do need to meet and meeting friends cost money anyway you look at it.
AND ITS KILLING ME.
And don't give me the "get a job" spiel. By the time I FIND one, the hols'll be over and I'm back at school. And I can barely negotiate a school timetable, that ends exactly when I want it and has a 3-day work week let alone a job thrown in. So I'm just going to like stick to pocket money.
But wow, I need to find things to do that don't require money at all. Though I suppose one can't do anything without transport so I'll try to come up with things to do without spending money AT ALL.
1. exploring the big houses near my area.
always wanted to do this but somehow never got round to doing it during the 8 month break or the 3 month summer hols. pathetic i know.
2. exercising
( i dont particularly enjoy this suggestion, but its so smack in your face, I had to type it)
3. re-arranging drawers and wardrobe and clearing of STUFF
again i don't enjoy this but it HAS to be done and doesn't require a cent.
4.Swimming
I like the water. but this is strictly for people who already HAVE seen me in a swim suit and that limits it to like 2 people apart from my parents' friends' children.
And they're not in town currently.
5. Visiting a museum.
I think my student card lets me enter for free for most exhibits, though I'm not sure about Pompeii. Still, would be a good outing. plus, lots of walking(=exercise) involved.
6. Going to Botanic Gardens and people gazing/cloud-watching.
7. Randomly coming up with a dance routine for a song(may come in handy in the future).
*note: time and energy required and cannot be performed in public space*)
8. Visit a friend?
(this is NOT called free-loading)...........okay well maybe it is.
Okay I can't come up with anything else at the moment and I desperately need to sleep so that I can wake up at 7 to go and RUN (its more of a SLOWWWWW jog but yes, must be done sooo..... gotta go)
tons of love, and shall continue this REAL soon.
shini
I thought I'd be fine with the whole being broke thing.
Unfortunately, I'm not.
There are simply too many things out there that I want to buy and that I supposedly "need" and people that I really do need to meet and meeting friends cost money anyway you look at it.
AND ITS KILLING ME.
And don't give me the "get a job" spiel. By the time I FIND one, the hols'll be over and I'm back at school. And I can barely negotiate a school timetable, that ends exactly when I want it and has a 3-day work week let alone a job thrown in. So I'm just going to like stick to pocket money.
But wow, I need to find things to do that don't require money at all. Though I suppose one can't do anything without transport so I'll try to come up with things to do without spending money AT ALL.
1. exploring the big houses near my area.
always wanted to do this but somehow never got round to doing it during the 8 month break or the 3 month summer hols. pathetic i know.
2. exercising
( i dont particularly enjoy this suggestion, but its so smack in your face, I had to type it)
3. re-arranging drawers and wardrobe and clearing of STUFF
again i don't enjoy this but it HAS to be done and doesn't require a cent.
4.Swimming
I like the water. but this is strictly for people who already HAVE seen me in a swim suit and that limits it to like 2 people apart from my parents' friends' children.
And they're not in town currently.
5. Visiting a museum.
I think my student card lets me enter for free for most exhibits, though I'm not sure about Pompeii. Still, would be a good outing. plus, lots of walking(=exercise) involved.
6. Going to Botanic Gardens and people gazing/cloud-watching.
7. Randomly coming up with a dance routine for a song(may come in handy in the future).
*note: time and energy required and cannot be performed in public space*)
8. Visit a friend?
(this is NOT called free-loading)...........okay well maybe it is.
Okay I can't come up with anything else at the moment and I desperately need to sleep so that I can wake up at 7 to go and RUN (its more of a SLOWWWWW jog but yes, must be done sooo..... gotta go)
tons of love, and shall continue this REAL soon.
shini
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Its amazing what lessons you learn when your mother goes to Sydney for 3 weeks.
Already in the first week I learnt that I really should never do the dishes without gloves, which SHE's been trying to do for the past 4 years at the very least.
And I've also realised that the damn laptop IS bad for me. I've got a bloody headache from the glare I think. Unfortunately, I learnt this particular lesson at the wrong time when I HAVE to be staring at the screen, memorising points for the exam tomorrow.
Sigh.
Wonder what I'll learn in the 2nd week.
Shini
P.S. "mama can you hurry up and come HOME? its weird here. "
Already in the first week I learnt that I really should never do the dishes without gloves, which SHE's been trying to do for the past 4 years at the very least.
And I've also realised that the damn laptop IS bad for me. I've got a bloody headache from the glare I think. Unfortunately, I learnt this particular lesson at the wrong time when I HAVE to be staring at the screen, memorising points for the exam tomorrow.
Sigh.
Wonder what I'll learn in the 2nd week.
Shini
P.S. "mama can you hurry up and come HOME? its weird here. "
Wouldn't it be ridiculously ironic if I, a Political Science student, did badly in a module called Government and Politics of Singapore? A module that Computing and Engineering students take as an Arts GEM(General Exposure Module to those non-NUS peeps) or as a Singapore Studies module. I mean how can you take yourself seriously if you can't even argue intelligently and defend your opinions about you own country's politics? And yet, because its my LAST paper, and its over the damn weekend, and I had so much time to study for it, I have no motivation to study for it, so that is why i'm back to having 24 hours to study for it.
Its like I don't LEARN from past mistakes. Seriously, how stupid can one person BE?
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions"-don't know who said/wrote it and I know its not exactly appropriate in this case, but I WAS full of good intentions.
You know what shini, just screw you and your future.
GO TO SLEEP and do your usual crap, I give up.
wow. I'm crazier than I thought.
Its like I don't LEARN from past mistakes. Seriously, how stupid can one person BE?
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions"-don't know who said/wrote it and I know its not exactly appropriate in this case, but I WAS full of good intentions.
You know what shini, just screw you and your future.
GO TO SLEEP and do your usual crap, I give up.
wow. I'm crazier than I thought.
Friday, November 26, 2010
LISTEN UP FRIENDS!
from the 4th to the 11th of DECEMBER, I will be unavailable to go out with you.
Why you ask?
Well, the blunt truth of it is that.........I'M BROKE.
Or at least I will be anyway.
So I figured I'd better inform all my friends, or rather the ones who bother to check out my blog, that I can't go out. I'd say that you are free to sponsor me on the outing, but I honestly don't like people paying for me much unless we NEED to meet and I'm truly broke or if its my birthday(then I absolutely refuse to pay a cent).
Therefore, please contact me, after the 11th, or on the 11th itself and we can set up a date!
Though I must warn you, after the 11th, my mother comes home from her UBER-long trip in Sydney, and she'll have lots of plans for the rest of the month, sooooooo you may have to fight with that for my dates. (i like sounding extremely popular, but the truth of it is that I'm dying to go out and meet you guys)
Just to warn you the 12th and 18th are already booked and probably another date as well, maybe the 19th cuz we have yet to host our annual DIWALI EXTRAVAGANZA for the parents' friends and offspring. SO yeah that's the short of it.
Oh! But you're more than welcome to call and stuff? Cuz I'll be most likely spending my days at home, re-arranging wardrobes and drawers and reading and baking(?) and maybe cooking(best not to call when i'm doing the latter 2; i might bite your head off, or you might hear some hysterical screaming and weeping) so yes, I'll be a good little home-maker (mother would be so proud).
Anyway, this brings me to the point that money is an extremely sensitive issue huh? People don't like outwardly talking about it, or saying that they don't have any(who does really?)
I personally am fine with talking about money, or at least admitting I don't have any. Yes its a reflection of my ridiculous spending habits and my inability to save, but you know what, its okay! At least then I can GET help for it right?
I'd like to talk more about this issue, but my mind's not into it right now.
so ciao for the moment!
love love,
shini
from the 4th to the 11th of DECEMBER, I will be unavailable to go out with you.
Why you ask?
Well, the blunt truth of it is that.........I'M BROKE.
Or at least I will be anyway.
So I figured I'd better inform all my friends, or rather the ones who bother to check out my blog, that I can't go out. I'd say that you are free to sponsor me on the outing, but I honestly don't like people paying for me much unless we NEED to meet and I'm truly broke or if its my birthday(then I absolutely refuse to pay a cent).
Therefore, please contact me, after the 11th, or on the 11th itself and we can set up a date!
Though I must warn you, after the 11th, my mother comes home from her UBER-long trip in Sydney, and she'll have lots of plans for the rest of the month, sooooooo you may have to fight with that for my dates. (i like sounding extremely popular, but the truth of it is that I'm dying to go out and meet you guys)
Just to warn you the 12th and 18th are already booked and probably another date as well, maybe the 19th cuz we have yet to host our annual DIWALI EXTRAVAGANZA for the parents' friends and offspring. SO yeah that's the short of it.
Oh! But you're more than welcome to call and stuff? Cuz I'll be most likely spending my days at home, re-arranging wardrobes and drawers and reading and baking(?) and maybe cooking(best not to call when i'm doing the latter 2; i might bite your head off, or you might hear some hysterical screaming and weeping) so yes, I'll be a good little home-maker (mother would be so proud).
Anyway, this brings me to the point that money is an extremely sensitive issue huh? People don't like outwardly talking about it, or saying that they don't have any(who does really?)
I personally am fine with talking about money, or at least admitting I don't have any. Yes its a reflection of my ridiculous spending habits and my inability to save, but you know what, its okay! At least then I can GET help for it right?
I'd like to talk more about this issue, but my mind's not into it right now.
so ciao for the moment!
love love,
shini
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