Kathak ki Kahani

The above event in the title slot ended 2 days ago, but for some reason I've waited till now to write about it. Don't get me wrong, I'd have definitely written about it but I guess I was just waiting to be in the right frame of mind.

And now I am!

Okay, for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, Kathak ki Kahani is a a production put up by NUS Indian Dance (Kathak), and was one of the programmes included in the Exxonmobile Campus Concerts festival thingy and it was held on the 17th of February(can't believe that's how its spelt), 2010 at the University Cultural Centre in NUS. The concert is about the history of Kathak, a dance form originated from north India and showcased 5 pieces, Bhajan, Holi, Raas, Mughal and Contemporary. I performed in Bhajan and Raas.

Now that the background is over, let's get to the dissection of the experience proper. First of all, I'm not a kathak dancer. Not traditionally. I had been a Bharatha Natyam dancer for a long time, and those of you who know your dance forms, you'll know that they are 2 completely different kinds of dance forms. I mean hello, they originated from geographically different places. So when I was asked to do the dances, I was extremely apprehensive about it. More so when I saw the choreography. There's this thing that appears a lot in Kathak, called chakars. They're basically, turns, either on the spot or while you're moving. The different levels of difficulty are based on how many times you step before turning and of course the speed. People normally turn or spin on their toes, but unless you've been training in contemporary or jazz for years or if you're an ice-skater, your toes will blister and hurt when you spin on your toes, continuously. In Kathak on the other hand, you're supposed to pivot on your heel and keep your balance with your other foot. Slowly, its not a problem, even I can do it, if I practice enough. Its the faster ones that cause the problems.

So you can imagine my horror when I saw that Bhajan ended on like 25 chakars. I was completely convinced that I was screwed. Plus the finale, had me spinning out, from the curtains, and then having to do really fast chakars, 4 at a time. By the time we were lik 2 days away from the show, I was seriously freaking out. I had managed to master the Bhajan spins, but not the finale, and I was seriously worried about spinning off stage in onto someone's lap(the audience was like literally 5 inches or less from the stage). Just before we were going to start, like half an hour before 8pm, I was wringing my hands and pacing in the dressing room and just basically freaking out completely. I had NEVER been so so scared to perform. NEVER in my entire life of going on stage. I was never so insecure. One could almost say stage fright. And I've been going on stage since I was in kindergarten mind you. I mean I could do the dance in my sleep, but at the same time, I could also just blank completely and forget the steps. I wasn't confident at all. And at the same time, I wanted it to be perfect. It didn't help that for the first time I had to change between dances. I NEVER had to do that. So yeah it was safe to say that getting through THIS performance and doing it well was a personal achievement for me.

Did I enjoy myself on stage? Well I'm not one for attention, though it can be hard to believe since I perform a fair bit. But see, I perform because I like dance, not cuz I like the attention. If my family and friends didn't come to the performance, of course I'd be disappointed, but, I'd still be fine. So when I'm on stage, I'm not really enjoying the audience's attention, but I am enjoying the dancing. Or rather the perfection of the dance, on my part. I really like nailing a routine, gives me a rush. When I can't nail it, its such an awful feeling I tell you. And you know what, I was totally enjoying myself on stage, the dancing part. So at some points, the plastered fake smile, was real.
After the show, we was a resounding success by the way, my parents and friends told me we were sitting in the 4th row. Which was kinda near where I was staring at I think. That night's performance was the 1st after 13 years, that my entire family had gone to. The last time, it was in primary 1, when I was playing the little blue bird in Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. You'd have thought that as little bird, I wouldn't do much, but I totally had lines. I was sort of the leading bird, like there was the leading squirrel and leading racoon. I actually remember being on stage and the rehearsals. And on the video, which of course my proud parents bought, you can see that I totally rolled my eyes on stage, presumably cuz I was tired of flapping my wings and flirting with the Prince. It WAS tiring you know. Anyway, I apparently have a habit of unknowingly rolling my eyes on stage, which I hope I didn't do that night. Gotta ask di. Anyway, I'm hungry now so I'm gonna go eat my brunch now. Ciao!

love love,
shini